Those Five Words
by Damn you Kylie
Summary: "I hate you Tobias Eaton." Those are the last five words that seven year old Beatrice Prior ever said to Tobias Eaton. Evelyn and Tobias Eaton's bodies are taken out of their home, dead. At the same time in Dauntless, Evelyn and Tobias Johnson are starting new lives with new names. Watch as Tobias grows up in Dauntless. Max OOC. Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent Series.
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE**

The little girl stands there with her fists clenched, her face is bright red and if her eyes could produce fire they would have burnt the boy standing on her front steps alive.

"I hate you Tobias Eaton," she screams at the top of her voice. Those are the loudest words that have ever been spoken in this part of town, ever.

With that she spins around on the front landing, she opens the front door and slams it shut.

"Beatrice Prior come back here right now," her mother has called to her. But it is too late, Beatrice has run up the stairs as fast as her small seven year old legs could carry her and has now slammed her bedroom door shut.

Her mother sighs, walks to the front door and opens it. She looks outside and finds Tobias sitting on their steps with his head in his hands. She goes and sits next to the boy and puts an arm on his shoulder.

"You know she didn't meant it don't you?" She tells the boy in a quite soothing tone.

He nods, "I know Mrs Prior," he says.

"She will calm down soon Tobias; just let her be for a little while. You know she loves you?"

"She better love me, I'm going to marry her one day," Tobias states.

The older woman laughs. Beatrice and Tobias have been best friends since Beatrice was two and Tobias was four. These fights have been happening since they first met. Neither child fits the Abnegation mould that they are being raised in. It makes it all that harder that their fathers are the two most powerful men in Abnegation. They should be setting an example for the other families but these two children can't seem to keep themselves out of trouble. Or away from each other. They have a unique bond; there is something that draws the two together like magnets. When Tobias said he would marry Beatrice, Mrs Prior had no doubt that that is exactly what would happen. They already act like an old marry couple and they are only seven and nine.

"I better be getting home Mrs Prior, father will probably be home soon," Tobias says. With that Tobias stands, gives Mrs Prior a hug and walks back towards his own home.

 **CHAPTER 1**

 **MAX POV**

It has been five days, five days. Evelyn was supposed to have arrived five days ago. I am really worried now. She was going to leave that sadistic bastard. I know she wouldn't have changed her mind, she can't change her mind. It's my child she is carrying and if Marcus finds out he will kill her. Not only will he kill her, he will kill our child and probably Tobias as well.

I have only just become a leader here in Dauntless. With that comes certain privileges. One I am about to use right now. I go outside and jump onto the first train that will lead me to the Abnegation sector of our great city. I need to make sure that Evelyn and Tobias are okay. I would really like some answers as too why they haven't joined me in Dauntless, but most of all I need to know they are safe.

I jump from the train and start the walk to the Eaton house. I am getting a few strange looks, it's not every day you see someone dressed in black walking the grey streets of Abnegation. I walk up to the front door and knock. When I am knocking the door is already open and as my fist hits the door the door swings open.

Marcus Eaton is sitting in a chair, his clothes are dishevelled and there are bottles all around him. It looks like he has been sitting here for days. He has a beard growing and he reeks of alcohol. I start to worry now; I am looking around the room trying to see if I can see Evelyn. "Wake up," I say as I shove Marcus on his shoulder. A small grunt comes from his lips, he is obviously still intoxicated.

I walk up the stairs and into a bedroom. That is when I see her. My Evelyn. I rush to her side, she is unconscious, and she is barely breathing. Shit, I have to find a way to get her out of here, get her to safety and away from this sadistic bastard for good.

I may belong to Dauntless and we have our reputations for fighting but never is it allowed or tolerated for a man to beat his wife or children. Men and woman can fight, hell it's encouraged but you do not raise your hand in anger, ever, to your loved ones. It will have you factionless in seconds if you are caught.

I have to think quickly, I walk back down stairs and I push Marcus from his chair. "Get up you scum bag," I say to him through my clenched jaw.

"Get out of my house, who do you think you are?" Marcus says. He is standing now. Now I can begin. I punch his jaw as he reels back I hit him in his stomach. I am seething with anger now, but I don't want to kill him I just need to make it look good and then knock him out. He starts to move toward me when I punch his face again and he has crumpled to the floor. I give him a few good kicks to his body just because I can, then I radio through to the Dauntless compound.

I rush back upstairs to Evelyn. She is lying on her bed, she has been badly beaten. Her face is swollen and purple, there are also some bruising that is yellowish in colour. It looks like she has had days of constant beatings. Then I realise I haven't seen Tobias. I rush to the other bedroom but he isn't there. Where could he be? I hear a noise I turn my head and see the small cupboard near the stairs.

I walk over to the cupboard and pull the door open. The sight almost breaks me. Tobias has slumped out of the cupboard and is now lying on the floor. I hear a small moan come from his badly beaten body. Thank goodness he is alive. I want to pick the boy up and hold him but I'm too scared to touch him. His back has been ripped apart; there is shredded skin and blood everywhere along his small back. I hear someone calling my name from downstairs.

I walk down the stairs and see Shane a Dauntless leader along with my best friend Simon who is a doctor at Dauntless. They have also brought four guards with them. Simon knows of my involvement with Evelyn. I had to tell him so that we could organise to have her and Tobias transferred to Dauntless after we discovered she was pregnant with my child.

"Max, what happened here?" Shane asks.

"I found Marcus drunk in his chair over there, but you need to help me. Evelyn and Tobias are upstairs and the bastard has beaten them both pretty bad," I say.

Simon moves up the stairs quickly and he comes across Tobias first. He looks at me with a look that sends a shiver down my spine. I know this is serious and for the first time in my life I am feeling really afraid.

"We need to get him out of here as quickly as possible, I think it's a miracle that he is even alive," Simon says.

"Wait," Shane says. "We need to do this smart. We need to be able to keep these two safe from that bastard down there." He points down the stairs to where Marcus is slumped on the floor. "I have an idea."

Shane walks back down the stairs and talks to the guards that are standing in the door way. Two of the guards leave the house and come back with two stretches. "What are we doing Shane?" I ask.

"We are going to take Evelyn and Tobias out of here on the stretches, we are going to cover them up and make it look like they are dead. Then we can take them back to Dauntless and give them new identities. We will tell people that a factionless man murdered them and beat Marcus up. Marcus is too drunk to know what has really happened. Even if he remembers he will think that he has done it, which it would be good if he did remember then he can live with the guilt of what he thinks he has done."

With the idea in place we start to implement the plan. Both Evelyn and Tobias are unconscious so it makes it easy for us to put them onto the stretches and carry them out to the waiting Dauntless van. As we are walking out with the lifeless bodies we see that there is a crowd of Abnegation starting to appear.

I am standing next to the door of the van when I see Natalie and her family approaching. A young girl with Natalie's features starts screaming. Blood curdling screaming is coming from this little girl. I never knew such a noise could come from someone so little. Her father quickly grabs her and tries to calm her down.

"Hi Nat, how are you?" I ask.

Natalie and I had been friends when she was Dauntless. I had always had a crush on her until I found out that she was secretly seeing Andrew Prior. It broke my heart a little the day she told me. Now as I watch the horror of her daughters reaction play out in front of me I am feeling guilty that I am going to have to lie to my friend about what has happened here today.

"Max, it's good to see you," Natalie says. I can see warmth in her eyes but I also know that she cannot show any real emotion. It comes with choosing Abnegation; I really hope she is happy living in this place. For me I don't think I could stand living with the rules that govern this faction. Her daughter is only sobbing now. It is such a distressing sight. "What happened?" Natalie asks.

"It seems that someone, probably factionless has beaten Marcus and killed both Evelyn and Tobias," I say. "You will probably need to get him some medical attention. We are going to take the bodies back to Dauntless, that way we can run the investigation from there. We can have our medical team run the necessary tests and try and find out what happened."

"Max we need to go," Shane shouts at me. I know we need to move quickly, both Evelyn and Tobias need urgent medical attention and we can't afford for them to wake while we have a crowd.

"We will look after Marcus, thank you Max," Natalie says.

I hop into the back of the van and we leave for Dauntless.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

 **MAX POV**

Evelyn is resting comfortably. We have put her in a room with Tobias. He is lying on his stomach. They have him hooked up to so many different machines and he has IVs sticking out of his tiny arms. He may be nine but right now he looks so small and helpless to me. His back is covered in bandages; the nurses come in every day and redress them. The only time he wakes is just as the pain medication starts to be wearing off.

He seems to be having constant nightmares, you can see the way his face contorts that the memory or memories of what has happened in that house are haunting him. When he wakes it is usually with screaming and cries for help. The doctors are quick to administer more medication; they need him to rest so that he can heal. Physically the doctors say he will be fine, he will always have scarring on his back. They are more concerned with the mental scars that he will have to live with.

I'm hoping that by living in Dauntless he will be able to heal over time from what that bastard has put him through. That he will learn to love me and let me treat him as a son should be treated.

Evelyn's injuries aren't as severe as Tobias's. I am extremely grateful that she hasn't lost the baby. She is able to go home, they doctors released her yesterday but she won't leave. I knew she wouldn't leave until she knew that Tobias was on the mend.

Shane has been great. He organised everything so that it is official. Evelyn and Tobias Eaton are dead. Now they are Evelyn and Tobias Johnson, wife and son of Max Johnson. Evelyn and I had Shane marry us in a ceremony in her hospital room. We wanted to have a bigger wedding with friends but under the circumstances we both agreed that it was better to keep everything low key.

To everyone including the Dauntless, the records show that Evelyn and Tobias have always been in Dauntless. We had to get help from Candor for all this to happen. Jack Kang is a young leader but he is also very astute. He was able to forge the death certificates along with Simon. Jack was also able to give Evelyn her divorce from Marcus and also to forge the documents so that I have custody of Tobias. He also has a new birth certificate. There is now no trace of Marcus ever being in Evelyn or Tobias' lives. Any documents have been sealed and hidden away with the rest of the dirty laundry that Candor has had to hide over the years.

Simon was able to organise the two caskets for burial. We told Abnegation we would do this for free, our reasoning to Abnegation was that they do so much for the city with their volunteer programs that it was only fitting that Dauntless offer its services to Abnegation for a change. Really we just didn't want anyone to know that there weren't any bodies in the caskets. The funerals were the usual quiet Abnegation affair that they always are. I don't know how much Marcus remembers of that day, I just hope he is suffering in his loss. I doubt it, but I hope it is true.

* * *

Tobias has spent three weeks in the hospital. He is finally being allowed home today. I hope he is going to like living here. Evelyn and I have decided to home school him for the rest of the year. We don't want anyone from Abnegation to recognise him and we also want him to feel comfortable living here in Dauntless. We know it is going to take him some time to get used to his new surroundings. The doctors think it may take some time for him to adjust after what he has been through. They aren't willing to speculate on how long. He is also going to have to get used to the idea that he is going to be a big brother in four months time.

I am really excited that Tobias will finally be coming home. I am also really nervous. We had to sit him down in the hospital and explain what had happened. Trying to tell a nine year old that he can't see his old friends was hard. He was so upset when we told him that he couldn't let Beatrice know what was going on. My heart was breaking just a little when he shed the tears over Beatrice. It was made even harder when I remember back to the little blonde girl I had seen in Abnegation that day. I'm assuming that she was Beatrice. But he understood the danger that was involved with anyone out of our family knowing the truth. The fear he has for Marcus is still very strong and he will wear the marks of that fear on his back forever.

I get down to the hospital to find Evelyn packing up the few possessions that Tobias has had with him in the hospital. He is now dressed in all black, just like a true Dauntless. I smile as I watch the two of them, black definitely suites both of them more than that horrid baggy grey clothing ever did.

I walk in the room and give Evelyn a hug. I would love nothing more than to give a hug to Tobias but it feels too soon. I want him to feel comfortable around me; I want him to think of me as his dad. Simon seems to think that this will happen, that I just need to give the boy some time. They have given us the name of a doctor that Simon thinks could help Tobias with his transition. Evelyn and I are worried that if we let too many people know what has happened then there is more chance that our secrets will get out. I convinced Simon to work with Tobias; I promised him that if he thought he couldn't do enough to help him then we would consider alternative help.

"How are you Tobias? Ready to see your new home?" I ask.

He just nods. He isn't much of a talker. The years of living with Marcus have seen to that. He was always too scared to open his mouth in case he was beaten. Evelyn told me the only person who had ever been able to get him to talk was Beatrice. She said that they never shut up when they were together. I hope he can make some new friends here in Dauntless. I will have to start introducing him to other children around his age. I'll go and talk to Hana next week; I'm sure her son Zeke is around the same age. If there is anyone who can get Tobias out of his shell it will be Zeke. Although it could cause me endless sleepless nights as well, Zeke is a lovely kid but he is always finding himself and his brother Uriah in trouble with someone. Those two must be the best pranksters in the whole of Dauntless. It makes me smile just thinking of them.

I hold out my hand to Tobias and say, "Come on then, let's get out of here." Tobias takes my hand, which warms my heart and we make our way out of the hospital and onto our new home. I had only just moved into the apartment before all the trouble. I had just been given my new position of leader and that comes with an upgrade to my accommodation. I knew that Evelyn and Tobias were going to be moving in so I really appreciated the upgrade.

I open the door to our apartment and usher Evelyn and Tobias in. Evelyn hasn't been staying here as she has spent all her time in the hospital with Tobias. She wanted to be close by for when he woke with one of his nightmares. I walk in and I give them both the tour of the apartment. The place is huge; we have four bedrooms, three bathrooms, kitchen, dining, living and a family room.

I show Tobias his room. "Do you like it?" I ask. I can hear the hope in my voice. I am turning into a sap. But I can't help it. This child just draws you in. Even though he has the same colour of blue eyes that Marcus has the two could not be more different. Marcus has cold calculating eyes. Tobias even though he has been through the trauma that he has, he has a warmth to his eyes. I can see that in a few years time he will have all the girls swooning over him. His hair has started to grow, it isn't in the standard Abnegation cut that it was when he got here and he has soft curls that are starting to grow. He will definitely be a heartbreaker with the Dauntless girls.

"Wow," Tobias whispers. I give a small laugh and rustle his hair. "We will go shopping tomorrow and you can pick some toys and things out for your room, ok?"

He just nods and looks up at me with the first genuine smile I have seen on his face. I have given him the second biggest bedroom in our home. It is downstairs, while the rest of the bedrooms are upstairs. I wanted him to have some privacy or maybe it was so his mum and I got some. But also we are going to be welcoming a new baby into the house soon and I didn't think he would enjoy having to be woken up with the cries of a baby in the middle of the night.

There isn't that much in his room but I did go all out and get him a king size bed. Although he could get lost in it now, he is only a few years away from being a teenager and he is already tall for his age so I'm sure he will grow into the bed in no time. He has a dresser and a wardrobe. He has his own bathroom. Evelyn walks into the room and he runs over to her, hugging her and saying, "thank you."

"It was Max who did all of this for you Tobias," Evelyn says.

"Thank you Max," he says as he walks over and he hugs my legs. I bend down, I put my arm around his small shoulders and I say, "You're very welcome Tobias." He hugs me back. I don't think I could feel prouder at this moment than if he were my own son.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

 **MAX POV**

Our daughter turns two today. I can't believe that Charlie is turning two today. Her name is really Charlotte but Tobias and I have always called her Charlie much to Evelyn's disgust. But then there isn't much that Evelyn is ever happy about. I don't even know where she is at the moment. She spends less and less time with us. Which is fine with me, I'm happiest when it is just Tobias, Charlie and I.

I hear the front door open and shut and my two kids are calling me, "Dad," they call out in unison.

I'll never forget the day Tobias first called me dad. I felt so proud. Tobias was still being home schooled at the time. Although it was hard to ever find him in the apartment. He would wander off for hours; we never did know where he went, he still does it now. The Dauntless compound is so large and there are so many places you can hide. I was watching the latest bunch of initiates going through stage three of training. Watching them go through their fear landscapes. There were so many people there that no one even notices the little boy sitting in the corner.

Once the initiates had finished I went over to Tobias and asked him what he was doing here. "I just wanted to see what everyone was doing," he said. I know he didn't like crowds and would often run and hide if there were too many people around so I didn't want to make a big deal of him being around so many.

I explained how the fear landscape worked and how to pass training the initiates had to face their fears. He stood there soaking in the information when he said, "I only have four fears."

"Really, are you sure?" I said. He nodded and I said, "Well if that's the case then you will hold the Dauntless record."

"Yep, I only have four," he said. Adamant that he would only have four.

"Well if that's the case then I'm going to call you Four from now on," I said.

He looked up at me and said, "Does that mean that I can call you Dad?"

I knelt down so that I was face to face with him and I said, "Of course you can call me Dad." I think I had the biggest smile ever on my face as I said this. Tobias wrapped his arms around my neck and said, "Well then you can call me Four".

Ever since that day I and everyone else other than his mother have called Tobias Four and he has called me dad.

Charlie comes running up and jumps into my arms, "Happy Birthday Charlie," I say giving my daughter a hug and kiss her on the cheek.

"Where's mum?" Four asks.

"No idea," I reply.

"Is she going to be here for my party?" Charlie asks.

"I'm sure she will be, baby."

I set Charlie back down on the ground and she runs over and jumps on the lounge next to her brother. Four absolutely loves his baby sister. I really was blessed that even though there is such a huge age gap between them they get along really well. Charlie adores her big brother and he spoils her rotten.

Four has come so far since he first arrived in Dauntless. He still has recurring nightmares from his life living with Marcus but he doesn't seem to scream out in the middle of the night anymore. He has made friends. Four and Zeke are inseparable. They usually have Uriah following around after them, which can be really funny at times. Especially when they are up to no good, then they try and blame it on Uriah. Or they just get him to do whatever will get them into trouble first. There is also Shauna who hangs with them; she is the same age as Four and Zeke. I am sure she has a crush on Zeke but he is clueless. Uriah's' friends Marlene and Lynn can often be seen with them as well. They are a good bunch of kids and it is nice to see Four around others his own age.

He can often be quite the loner, but his friends seem to accept this and they just leave him be when he needs it. I know he has found this spot down near the chasm that he goes too. He can sit there for hours. I talked to Simon about it; he said that he thinks it's good for him. Four only went to see Simon a few times he doesn't want to talk about what happened in the past. We all agreed to drop the idea of therapy but made Four promise that he would ask for help if he needed it. He has friends, he is doing well at school and he seems happy most of the time so we have let him be. Other than the nightmares and the scars on his back no one would know what he had been through.

* * *

Our day has been long. Having fifteen two year olds running around the apartment has been exhausting. Evelyn turned up half way through the party. I can't believe she wasn't here for half our daughter's party. Four has taken Charlie upstairs to get her ready for bed. I don't think I could have done it tonight.

"Where were you Evelyn? For fuck sake it was our daughter's birthday," I say. I am really pissed with her.

"I was here Max, I was only a few minutes late," she says.

"Are you serious, where were you? You don't have a job you have to be at; all you have to do is be a good mother. And well we can see your failing miserably at that," I say. I can hear the anger in my voice. It makes me even angrier because I promised I would never raise my voice in anger in this house. Evelyn and Four have both had enough of that for one lifetime.

"This isn't working Max, I'm not happy," she tells me.

"What?" I ask. All I can think is that she is leaving and taking my kids away. I can't lose my kids.

"I can't do this anymore Max. I'm leaving," she says.

I can see Four sitting at the top of the stairs. I can see the fear in his eyes. I am not going to let her take him or Charlie.

"You can't have the kids Evelyn; I won't let you take them from me." I'm amazed at myself. I'm not even asking her to stay.

"I wasn't going to Max. You can have them, they love you more than me," she says. There is no expression in her voice or any as she looks at me. She looks hollow.

"Where will you go?" I ask. The kids should at least know where their mother is.

"I've met someone. He is factionless, I'm going to go and live with him."

"If you leave I am not going to allow you to see our kids, they don't deserve to have to see their mother factionless."

"Whatever you want Max. I'm not going to argue with you about this. I know they are better off with you," she says.

At this point Four has walked down stairs; I can see the tears in his eyes. He walks up to his mother and he says, "I hate you, I never want to see you again, ever." He walks away from his mother and towards his bedroom. When he gets there he walks into his room and slams the door.

"I think you should just leave Evelyn, take whatever you want but leave your key. I can't have you coming back here," I say and I walk away from her. I need to see how my son is doing.

* * *

I tap lightly on Fours' door and I let myself into his room. I know he isn't going to welcome me into the room at the moment. But we need to chat about what has happened I don't want it to leave a wedge between us.

"Tobias."

"Max," he says. He knows I hate it when he calls me Max. It doesn't happen very often and it is usually after I have called him Tobias. It also cuts deeply right now with everything that has just happened with his mother.

"Don't call me that, you know I hate it when you do," I say.

"Then don't call me Tobias, you know I hate that probably even more," he says. I chuckle at this, he is lying face down with his head in his pillow. I am sure if I could see his face I would have seen him grinding his teeth as I said Tobias.

He turns his head and looks up at me and says, "I'm sorry."

"What for? You don't have anything to be sorry about," I say.

"You're stuck with me," he says.

I open my arms and say, "Come here." He lifts himself up and gives me a hug. I don't think I could want more than knowing that this boy wants to be here at this moment.

"I may be stuck with you, but I want to be stuck with you. No matter what, you are my son and I love you. I love you and Charlie. You are my world and don't ever think differently."

"She used to leave for days before, when we lived with him. He would get so angry," he says. We had never spoken about Marcus or when he had lived there. It never occurred to me that she used to leave Four alone for days when she was visiting me. She never said anything about it. I didn't even know that he had ever harmed Four before that day when I walked in to see them both lying there half dead.

"Then I should be saying sorry to you. Because it was me that she was with when she wasn't there," I say. Hoping that he won't hate me for it.

"It's not your fault dad, she has always thought of herself before me. And now she has done the same to Charlie."

"We will work it out Four. We can still be a family just the three of us." We both lie down on his bed, we don't say anything. I hear Evelyn close the front door. I just stay here until I know Four is finally asleep.

 **EVELYN POV**

I watch as Max walks down the hall towards Tobias. Thankfully I didn't have to admit that I was pregnant to somebody else. I don't think being pregnant is a good thing. But I couldn't stay here. Once the baby is born I know Max would have then found out it wasn't his. I know I'm not a very good mother. Maybe when they are older, then I can be there for them.

Having to run around after all those two year olds today was like being in my own living hell. I would have gladly swapped it for a beating from Marcus. What sort of parent does that make me? The one who is packing her things and walking out on them.

I'm glad this is over; I couldn't have stayed here much longer even if I wasn't pregnant. Those three weeks I sat in the hospital with Tobias after Marcus attacked us, that was pure torture. The only thing that got me through it was knowing that it made me look good in front of Max. But I can't hide it anymore. I finally feel free. There isn't much for me to pack, what good will a blender be living factionless. I gather a few pieces of clothing and I walk out the door.

I hope one day Tobias will forgive me. But I don't think it will matter much if he doesn't.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Just wanted to give a quick shout out to everyone who has been reviewing my story. Thank you I really appreciate every single one of you, it helps me to keep writing. So I know there is some glitch with the reviews and you can't see them but I am still getting them via email and it blows me away at how generous you all are with your compliments. I should also say thank you to everyone who has this story as a favourite or is following. So thank you. So let's get back to the story, this is only a short one but Four is going to start having a little fun in Dauntless now. Finally you all say! There won't be any FourTris action for awhile, sorry, but it will come later. So enjoy the story, review when you can and keep on reading.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4**

 **FOUR POV**

Mum left six months ago. I thought I would miss her but I don't. Sometimes I do. I don't want to miss her but it's hard sometimes. It's hardest when I see how sad it makes Charlie. And it's hard when I see dad get sad. It doesn't happen often and he seems a lot happier the last couple of weeks. I saw him having lunch with a really pretty lady the other day and he looked really happy, I just hope she doesn't take him away from Charlie and me. I was really scared that when mum left that dad would make me go and live with Marcus but he promised he would never do that too me. He said, "Four I love you, you are my son and I will always be here for you." It was the best news ever. He is really the best dad ever. Zeke and Uriah don't have a dad but they have a great mum so now I'm more like them but in reverse.

I hate thinking about mum; it gets me angry and sad all at once. I hate her for leaving and I don't know what I did that was so wrong that she would leave me. Not that I want to be factionless, I don't understand why she did this to me, to us. I get all mixed up when I think of her. She's my mum and I love her. But then I think I hate her because she is gone. But then I love her again because I wouldn't have Max as my dad if it wasn't for her. Then I hate her again because Charlie gets so upset and cries for her and that makes me sad. Then I think of how much I love Dauntless and I love her again, I wouldn't be living here if it wasn't for her. So I try not to think about it because I just get confused. Dad said I will understand it better when I'm older. But I like being eleven so I don't want to be older, but I don't want to be confused by it either. Now I'm just making myself even more confused. I usually go and sit at my hiding place near the chasm when I get like this. I like to hear the water and it means I don't have anyone bothering me. It also gives me a break from Charlie.

Charlie still cries for her sometimes. That makes me really sad when that happens. I love having her as a sister, just sometimes she is so noisy, and I like the quiet. Now that mum isn't home she goes to day care while dad is at work. She loves going to day care, which means that when I get home from school I can hang out with Zeke. Dad got us a housekeeper which is really cool. It means I don't have to cook or clean like I did when I lived with Marcus. If mum wasn't home, which was often, than Marcus would make me cook him dinner and clean the house. I shudder at the memory, I never did it right and I would usually get beaten for it afterwards. If mum came home he would let me be, if she didn't then I would be locked in the closet upstairs.

Dad doesn't seem to mind that mum has gone, not all the time anyway. He seems happier, although he is always happy when Charlie and I are around. Except when I'm getting in trouble for something Zeke and I have done. This happens a lot. We don't mean to do the wrong thing it just sought of happens. Like last week. We found this old board game called Snakes and Ladders. Zeke and I decided we were going to make our own version of it. The Snakes and Ladders board would look awesome on the rock climbing wall in the pit. So I borrowed some black spray cans out of dads shed and we waited for everyone to go to bed and then we went down to the pit and spray painted the numbers, snakes and the ladders onto the wall. It looked so cool. Hana Zeke's mum has this square thing she puts her feet on when she is sitting on the lounge. Zeke borrowed it and we painted the numbers on it so we could use it as a dice. We have one person for every game be the dice roller and that way when we are at the top of the game we can see what number has been rolled.

All the kids in Dauntless thought the game was awesome but the grownups were not happy. They don't think that us kids should be able to play our game; they want the rock wall all to themselves. I don't even get why I got in trouble really. It is awesome and it's a fun way to play snakes and ladders. Lucky that dad showed me how to not be afraid of heights while rock climbing the pit. He reminded me that I had a harness on and showed me how if I didn't look down it wouldn't scare me. I just can't look down when they roll the dice for me. Otherwise I know I will freak out.

So even though I got in trouble we are still allowed to play the game. Dad made up a timetable so we get an hour after school where we can play and also we can play before ten in the morning on weekends. Dauntless don't usually get up early on the weekends because they are partying late at night. But we did have to promise to share the game with other kids. If we didn't dad said that he would paint over it so it would be gone. So we didn't really have a choice, but it makes us look cool so I can live with that. Or it's more Zeke; he wants everyone to think his cool. I don't really care if they think I'm cool. I try not to get attention; I don't like it that much.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

 **FOUR POV**

Today is my thirteenth birthday. I am so excited. Dad gave me a paintball gun for my birthday. Zeke got one for his birthday last month so now we both have our own guns. It is so cool. So we are going to have a game of capture the flag for my birthday. We are going to play down it the pit. Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, Marlene and Lynn are going to play with me. Because we are having the game in the pit we had to invite some of the other kids our age too. So I made sure that my friends were on my team. We also had to let Shauna's little brother Hector play with us, so he brought his friend Johnny along. It was really funny, Lynn and Shauna made sure they got them out of the game early. They had so much paint on them we couldn't see their black clothes anymore. Charlie wanted to play too, so I didn't want her to get hit by the paint gun, she is only four, so I got Uriah to splat a paintball onto her shirt. She thought it was really funny, she always laughs around Uri. He makes the goofiest faces and she just giggles, I love to hear her so happy. She still gets sad sometimes and asks for Evelyn. I don't think of her as mum anymore. Just Evelyn. She doesn't deserve to be called mum.

That's the only thing I hate when it's my birthday, the fact that Evelyn isn't here. I still try to think of what I could have done to make her stay. I miss her today. Dad always tries to make my birthday special, keep me busy because he knows how sad I can get. Dad's friend Sasha is with us as well, she stays at our place sometimes. They have been together for ages now. Sasha is the lady I saw dad having lunch with that time. She is really nice and Charlie likes her too. She makes dad happy, I asked him if he was going to marry her but he changed the subject. I wish dad and Evelyn were still together but I think dad is happier with Sasha. I'm not sure though, I'm not very good with that sort of thing. I don't like talking to girls, especially the Dauntless ones. They are really annoying, they put all this make up on so you can't see their faces properly and they dress in clothes that doesn't fit them. They are always trying to talk to me but I just get really embarrassed, I don't know what to say and I usually say something that upsets them. I'm okay around Shauna but we don't talk that much anyway. I put up with Marlene and Lynn they are like annoying little sisters, Charlie is less annoying than those two but they are still better than the other girls.

Capture the flag was awesome. Probably helped that my team won. When the game had finished we just stood in the pit and fired off the rest of the paintballs we had left at each other. We were covered in paint, it was so funny. Then we went to the cafeteria and we had lots and lots of Dauntless cake. I thought Uriah would have exploded with how much cake he ate. I think he would die if he had to go a day without his cake. Maybe that's what I should give him as a dare next time we play dare. I will have to tell Zeke that one, he will love that idea.

School is way better since I have been in Dauntless. I remember when I was in Abnegation and I felt like I spent my whole day waiting. Waiting for the other kids to leave the classroom before I did. Waiting for the other kids to go into class before I could. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Now that I'm Dauntless we just do whatever we want. Sometimes we don't even go to class. Best is that the teachers don't expect us to do any good so if you don't like a class it doesn't matter if you fail, your Dauntless so they don't care. I still try to do good at school, I want dad to be proud of me. I like the computer classes the best, I don't know why I just find it fascinating. How they work, what you can do with them.

I try to stay away from any of the Abnegation at school. It always makes me sad when I think of Beatrice. I miss her a lot. She would love Dauntless. I haven't seen her since I moved to Dauntless. I don't think she would recognise me now anyway. It has been four years. I have grown my hair longer, it looks a bit like a mop because of my curls but it means that I am less likely to be recognised by any one from Abnegation. I only really knew Beatrice anyway. One day I accidently bumped into her brother Caleb. And I mean bumped into him, he didn't know who I was, which was good but kind of sad too. Now I'm getting taller and being in Dauntless I have started to get muscles from all the physical games we play. I don't think Beatrice would recognise me even if we did bump into each other. Every day since I left Abnegation I have wished to see her again, but I can't. It's too dangerous for me; Marcus is still in my nightmares. I sometimes wake up and I am covered in sweat, dad is used to hearing my shower in the middle of the night. He used to come and check that I was alright but he knows that I would rather not talk about it. So he leaves me alone. I am really grateful for that.

Doctor Simon still comes to visit, he and dad are really good friends, Simon likes to come and check on me make sure that I don't want to talk about everything that happened. I don't want to talk about it with people. I don't want them to know just how weak I am. How I am still afraid that Marcus will come and steal me one day and make me go and live with him. Dad told me that Marcus thinks I'm dead but it doesn't matter, it doesn't help, I still get my nightmares. If it's not a nightmare about Marcus beating me than it will be one about Evelyn. It usually involves Evelyn taking Charlie away, that she comes and steals her and takes her back to the factionless with her. I sometimes wish that Marcus and Evelyn were dead, but then I know I don't really want Evelyn dead. Can you really love and hate someone all at the same time? Because that's what it feels like when I think of Evelyn.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

 **BEATRICE POV**

I'm sitting in the grave yard next to his grave. It would have been his birthday today. I have come every year since it happened. But only on his birthday. Most people come on the anniversary of his death. But I couldn't do that. It fills me with too much guilt. Those five words I said to him, they will haunt me to the day I die. If only I could take them back, if only I could replace them with the words I should have said. If only I had got the chance to say what I really felt. As I stand up I whisper the five words I wish I had the chance to say, "I love you Tobias Eaton." I walk away with tears streaming down my face, knowing I will be back again next year, ready to torture myself all over again.

It tortures me all the time. It shows me just how selfish I was that day. Just how much I don't belong here in Abnegation. I see my brother and how selfless he is and it just makes me hate myself even more. I can't wait until I can choose. To know I can leave this place, leave the memories behind; leave so I don't keep disappointing my parents. Now I just need to choose where I would fit in best. Where I can become the person that he would have been proud of, but at the same time the place where I can try and forget the person I am.

 **FOUR POV**

Yesterday I turned fifteen. Only one more year until my Choosing Ceremony. I know what I am going to choose, Dauntless. My birthday present this year is a tattoo. I told dad I wanted to get a tattoo that covered my back where my scars are. I have scars from the beatings I got from Marcus; Simon said that they will always be there so now I get to cover them. Dad seemed really happy when I said I wanted to get the tattoo. I think he is worried that I will leave Dauntless next year and go to a different faction. Now that I am getting the tattoo I think he thinks that that means I will stay. I couldn't leave Dauntless; I couldn't leave Charlie and my dad. Dad and Charlie have always been here for me. Dad has never treated me like I wasn't his son. He loves me just like he loves Charlie. I could never leave him especially when my 'real parents' were so happy to get away from me. Even when I get in trouble dad has never raised his hand to me. Sometimes I think he would like to, especially the trouble that I get into with Zeke and Uriah but he hasn't.

So today I am on my way to see Tori in the tattoo shop, I know exactly what I want I just hope she is willing to do it for me.

I walk into the shop and see Tori and Bud. Bud is working on someone but Tori is free. "Hi Tori," I say. As I walk over to her.

"Four, how are you? Here for your birthday present?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"Do you know what you would like?"

"I do," I say.

"Okay well come and sit here and we can talk about the design you want," Tori says. Motioning me to sit in the chair next to hers.

"So what I would like are the five factions across the bottom of my back, just under where my pants are so no one can see them. Then I want the Dauntless flames to go over the length of my whole back. Up to my neck and around onto my ribs. I want you to colour around the faction symbols black and then as it turns into the flames I want the colour to turn to red like real flames, with maybe some bits of orange and yellow through it."

"Are you sure you want the five factions Four?" Tori asks.

"Yes I do," I say. I know it would be dangerous if anyone sees the symbols, which is why I am getting them at the bottom. I would have to take my pants off for someone to see and I know that isn't going to be happening so I don't really have to worry about it. Plus if I show my dad the tattoo I only have to take my shirt off and he will only see the Dauntless flames.

"Okay then. This is going to take a lot of time to do. So we are going to have to work out a schedule for you to come and get it done. It is going to take four or five sittings, especially now that you have grown so tall, there is a lot more area to cover," she says. I had a growth spurt a little while ago. I am now six feet tall and tower over my friends.

* * *

Dad is taking Sasha out for some romantic dinner tonight. I think he is going to ask her to marry him tonight. He asked me about what I would think if they got married last week. I think it's cool; I'm only going to be at home for another year so it won't really bother me. It will be good for Charlie to have a mum and Sasha would be a great mum to Charlie. She makes dad really happy and that makes me happy. He has done so much for me; I can never thank him enough for keeping me. I don't know why he did but I'm glad he did.

My friends are coming over for a game of dare. It should be awesome; Zeke and I have some really good ideas for dares to play so it should be fun. Charlie is staying at one of her friends houses, which means it will just be my friends here. I hear a knock at the door and get up to answer it.

"Hey Zeke, Uriah," I say, letting them in the door.

They sit on the lounge and I see Zeke has a bag with him.

"What's in the bag?" I ask.

"Stuff for dare," says Zeke. There is another knock at the door and I get up to let in Shauna, Marlene and Lynn.

We all sit in a circle around the coffee table in the middle of the lounge room. Let the game begin.

"Can I start?" asks Zeke. I nod, usually whoever is hosting the party gets to start but Zeke seems like he really wants too. I don't really care who starts.

"Shauna I dare you to sneak into Dauntless Nights and put marbles all over the dance floor," Zeke says.

"Too easy," says Shauna. "The nightclub won't even have anyone in there yet. It is too early in the day."

We all walk out of the apartment and down into the pit. Shauna and Zeke sneak into the nightclub while the rest of us keep watch outside. All of a sudden they both coming running out and Zeke yells, "RUN."

We turn to see Rocko the bouncer from Dauntless Nights running out of the club with a fist in the air yelling profanities at us. We run back up to my place and all sit down laughing.

"So what happened?" Lynn asks.

"Shauna had just put the marbles all over the dance floor and we thought we were in the clear. We had crawled our way over to the dance floor so no one would see us but when she had finished we stood up to walk out. That's when Rocko saw us and started to chase us," says Zeke.

"Did he see you put the marbles on the floor?" Uriah asks.

"Nah he was too busy trying to chat up the girl who was setting up the bar. He is such a sleaze, I think she was glad that we were there to distract him. She was just laughing as he ran after us," says Shauna.

"Okay my turn, Lynn," says Shauna.

"Yep, hit me sis," Lynn says.

"I dare you to shave your head."

"What? Are you serious?" says Marlene. "That is really mean Shauna. Lynn has beautiful hair."

"It's okay Marlene, I will do it," says Lynn. "Who has some clippers?"

"Don't look at me," I say. "I don't remember the last time I cut my hair."

"We know Four," says Shauna. "I think all the girls in Dauntless would be upset if you cut off those beautiful curls."

I blush bright red at this. I don't want girls thinking my hair is beautiful. I may need to use the clippers after Lynn has finished. Everyone is now laughing at how embarrassed I am.

"It's okay Four, we don't think your curls are beautiful," says Zeke as he pats me on the back.

"I've got clippers at our place," says Uriah. We all stand and make our way to Uriah and Zeke's apartment.

We walk into the apartment and head straight to Uriah's room. He gets out the clippers and hands them to Lynn. Lynn and Shauna go into the bathroom and we can hear the clippers. Five minutes later they walk out and Lynn has a shaved head. Marlene looks like she is going to cry while Zeke rubs a hand over her now bald head. Which makes Lynn give Zeke a punch to his gut. Zeke doubles over in pain and we all laugh at him.

We get back to my apartment where Lynn says, "My turn, Marlene I dare you to throw water balloons at people while they are watching a movie at Dauntless Theatre."

"Too easy Lynn," Marlene says. We all get up and make our way to Dauntless Theatre. Marlene is carrying ten water balloons in her bag. We look up at what movies are on tonight. We have two theatres one that plays recent movies that Amity has made. We never go to those movies; they are always some happy love sap crap they have made. The other theatre plays old movies from before the war. Zeke, Uriah and I love coming here. They play a lot of action films; we are usually here at least once a week. Tonight they are playing Jaws.

"Perfect movie choice for what you have to do Marlene," says Zeke.

We decide that instead of sneaking in we will stay and watch the movie. So we all buy our tickets and get some popcorn and drinks and make sure we get the back row of the theatre, and then the other people won't see who is throwing the balloons.

Just over half way through the film I tell Marlene to get ready. "I'll let you know when to start throwing," I say. Zeke and I saw the film a couple of days ago. So we wait until Chief Brody says, "You're going to need a bigger boat." That is when I tell Marlene to start throwing.

All of a sudden as the shark is coming towards the boat people start screaming and jumping out of their seats. It is so funny. Marlene just keeps throwing until she has let all ten balloons go. Popcorn and drinks are flying through the air; people are running from the theatre. Zeke has fallen off his chair. Uriah and Lynn are jumping up and down laughing. I have a stitch in my side from laughing so much.

"Come on," I say. "We need to get out of here before they realise it was us."

We get up from the seats and run back to my place. When we get there we all fall onto the floor laughing. Uriah acts out how the people were acting which just makes us laugh even harder. It has been the funnest game of dare ever.

"My turn, my turn," says Marlene. "Uriah I dare you to get a tattoo. Where everyone can see it."

"Oh," says Uriah. He is only thirteen and Hana will not be happy if he gets it.

"Don't worry bro, mum will only skin you alive or are you going to be a pansycake," Zeke says while laughing at Uriah.

"I'm no pansycake," says Uriah. Once again we are up and on our way out of the apartment and down to the tattoo parlour.

Uriah decides to get a snake behind his ear. We all sit around the tattoo parlour while they do Uriah's tattoo.

We get back to the apartment and sit back down in our little circle. "Okay, my turn," says Uriah. "I have a joint dare for Zeke and Four."

Zeke and I look at each other and just nod. It can't be that bad if we have to do something together.

* * *

 _ **I don't own anything associated with Jaws.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

 **FOUR POV**

"You have to let off fireworks in the dining hall," says Uriah.

I look at Zeke and he looks at me. I shrug thinking that's not too bad. "When everyone is in the dining hall eating," says Uriah. Crap. We are going to be in so much trouble for this. I hope dad is at a restaurant and not the dining hall tonight for dinner. "Dinner should be starting soon so let's go," says Zeke.

"Where are we getting fireworks from?" I ask. Having no idea where Zeke or Uriah get half the things for our dares that they get.

"I have them right here," says Uriah. I don't want to know where he got them from.

We walk into the dining hall and it is full. Uriah hands half the fireworks to me and the other half to Zeke along with a box of matches each. We decide to start on either end of the hall and work our way in to the middle of the hall. Uriah, Lynn and Marlene go and sit together at a table so they can watch the drama unfold.

I look at Zeke and he gives me a thumbs up and we start. We start letting the fireworks off and chaos is the only word to describe what happens. By the time we have met in the middle of the room the Dauntless dining hall has people running in all directions. There are men and women running around with their guns out, I think a few may have shot their guns but you can't really tell with the noise of the fireworks. People are screaming and running for the door. Food is flying through the air as people have turned over trays and tables as they try to get away from the fireworks.

Zeke and I are hiding under a table. We are curled up in balls laughing. This has been so funny. Until we go to get up from under the table and we find dad, Sasha and Hana standing in front of us. Crap. We are in so much trouble now. We get up from under the table and we are trying not to laugh. Dad looks at us and then he says, "I think you two should clean up this mess then we will talk about punishment."

Zeke and I are grounded from playing Dare for the next six months. Uriah thought that it was hilarious until he, Marlene and Lynn were barred from playing dare until their initiation. I know dad got a good laugh out of what we had done but he had to ground me. Dauntless was in a bit of an uproar afterwards. Some people were even trying to get us banned from the dining hall. Sometimes it is lucky to have a dad who is a leader.

I'm just really glad that they didn't find out that it was one of our dares that caused all the accidents in Dauntless Nights. We found out a few days later that there were quite a few accidents on the dance floor that night. There were three sprained ankles and a broken wrist. No one remembered Shauna and Zeke being in there after the dining hall chaos.

Plus I think dad was in a really good mood because Sasha had agreed to marry him. Sasha wasn't happy that I had ruined her night. They had to drag dad out of the restaurant they were in to reprimand us. But she got over it when she found out that Charlie and I were happy for her and dad. Dad said she was worried we wouldn't want her as a step mum. I think it was when Charlie asked if she could call her mum that she calmed down.

* * *

I got home from school to see Sasha is at home. Dad and Sasha got married last month. So she is now living with us, Charlie loves having her here. "Your dad needs you to go and see him at work," she says.

Great I think. He has obviously heard about what happened at school today. I drop my bag and start to turn around to head out the door when I see Sasha get up too. I open the door and Sasha says, "Wait I'm coming with you."

"Why?" I ask.

She points to my black eye and says, "Because it looks like you have had a bad day."

I give her a small smile and say, "yeah, not my best day."

"Well lets go get this over with, I would hate to see what the other guy looks like if you got a black eye," Sasha says.

We walk into dad's office and he tells me to sit. "I had a call from the principal today Four," dad says.

"It's not what you think dad," I say.

"Start explaining Four," he says.

"I didn't hit back dad. It was this stupid Erudite kid named Eric. He has been trying to fight me for months. I was walking down the hall and he just hit me."

"Why didn't you hit him back?" he asks.

"Dad I have been training with Amar for two years. If I hit him back he'd probably be dead. I'm not going to hit someone just for the hell of it. I know I am better than most fighters in Dauntless, hitting Eric wouldn't be right. So I blocked his other punches and then kicked him to the ground. I walked off," I say.

"Four what are you going to do when you are in initiation? You are going to have to fight then," Dad says.

"I know I will have to fight then and I will deal with it. But I'm not going to fight unless I have too. I don't see the point of it."

"I wished you'd given him a beat down son. You say he is from Erudite?" I nod. "No wonder the principal blamed you. I will be having a few choice words with that moron tomorrow," Dad says.

"Yeah well Eric reckons he is going to transfer here so I'm sure I am going to be seeing a lot more of him," I say. I hate Eric he is always trying to pick on kids weaker than him. The only reason he got a punch in today is because I wasn't looking. Every other time he has tried to hit me I was able to block him. If he does come here I don't know how long I will be able to keep my cool and not hit him.

"Maybe I should have Dauntless-borns and transfers fight each other this year then," Dad says.

Sasha can see how uncomfortable I look and she says; "now Max I wouldn't worry about anything like that, it probably won't happen anyway."

"Come on Four, you can come with me while I pick Charlie up from day care. She will be happy to see her big brother," says Sasha.

"I'll see you both at home later," Dad says.

We walk out of dad's office and I turn to Sasha and say, "thanks for distracting him Sasha."

"That's okay Four. I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"I know but I'm not very good with all that," I say.

"I get it I do. Your dad had to tell me about your nightmares, he was worried I would wake up in the night and freak out if I heard you. I promise you're secrets are safe with me," she says.

"Yeah I know he told you." Dad asked me if he could tell Sasha about my past. He didn't want her to worry if I woke up screaming in the middle of the night. I still get the nightmares but it isn't often that I wake up screaming anymore. I also know that Sasha wouldn't tell people about my past. I know that Sasha has her own secrets but I would never ask. No one has told me she has, I can just see it, sometimes when someone has said something you can see the pain in her eyes. Like me she is good at hiding what is really going on inside. "Sasha would you mind if I called you mum? Like Charlie does," I ask. I have wanted to ask her this for ages. She has treated Charlie and me better than Evelyn ever did. It feels right to call her mum almost as much as it did when I started to call dad, dad.

She turns to me with the biggest smile on her face and says, "Yes, that would mean the world to me Four." She stops and turns to me and says, "do you think I could get a hug?" I smile and give her a hug. I might only have a couple of months until my Choosing Ceremony and then I will be getting my own place but I finally feel like I have a great family I can come home too. It just makes me feel sad that my real parents could never make me feel the way Max and Sasha do.

* * *

It is two weeks before my Choosing Ceremony and my nightmares have been really bad. They haven't been this bad since Evelyn left. I haven't slept properly for the last three nights. I keep waking up screaming with the same dream.

I have just woken up when mum comes running into my room. She rushes over to the bed and she sits next to me and puts her arms around me. I am dripping in sweat and my breathing is heavy. "its okay baby, it's okay," she whispers into my ear. She is so comforting it makes me start to cry. I have never had anyone comfort me like she is now. Evelyn had never been like this, not even when we first came to Dauntless after Marcus had nearly killed me.

"It's okay Four. Whatever happened in your dream can't get you now," she says.

"That's the problem mum, it can still get me. It can," I say.

"Four do you want to tell me what it is about?" she asks.

I want to tell her but I don't know if I should. I don't want to hurt dad and I know that if I tell her she will tell dad and I don't want to upset him. I hear someone in the kitchen and I know that means dad has just come home from work. He often has to work really late.

"Go and have a shower Four. Then we will sit down with your dad, I think we all need to talk about this," she says.

I know she's right I really do need a shower. My clothes are soaked with my sweat from my nightmare.

I get out from the shower and I can see that mum has changed the sheets on my bed; they were probably drenched in my sweat as well. I hop back into bed; I'm hoping that if I stay in my room then my parents will leave me alone. There is a knock on my door and then my dad opens it. He and mum walk into my room and they both sit on my bed.

"You need to talk to us Four, we want to help you," dad says. Not in his usual brash Dauntless voice but in his quiet I love you and want to help you voice.

"I keep dreaming that I am at my Choosing Ceremony and they call my name. Not Four but my real name. And that when they call my name Marcus realises who I am and then everyone else finds out who I am. Then everyone works out what he used to do to me and they make me go back to Abnegation. They won't let me choose Dauntless they make me go and live with him," I say.

Dad looks at me and he says, "well let's change it then."

"What?"

"I will talk to Jack Kang over at Candor tomorrow. We will have new documents made up for you. We have had it done before, I am sure we can do it again. We will have your name legally changed to Four, no one will need to ever know what your name was," dad says.

"What happens if I have more than four fears?"

"It doesn't matter, it is a name I gave you when you were little and you decided to keep it. Who is going to question a Dauntless leader? Marcus only likes to abuse the weak, he is not going to take any notice to someone who called their son by a number," dad says.

"Can I ask for something else as well?" I ask.

"Of course you can," dad says.

"Can Sasha be put down on there as my mum?"

"If that's what you want, then we should be able to do that. It would be better if she is. That way if Marcus did ever start snooping it won't have Evelyn on there and so he would probably let it go. Plus you and Sasha have the same colour eyes so she could pass as your mum probably more than I will ever pass as your dad. As long as you're happy with this Sasha," dad says.

Sasha has tears in her eyes and she can't seem to get any words out, she just starts nodding her head and gives me a really big hug. I feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted off my shoulders. Now there won't be anything linking me to either Marcus or Evelyn, they are part of my past. At least on paper now I just have to find a way to keep the nightmares away.

"We should see if we can get the same done for Charlie as well," dad says.

Mum is full on crying now, but at least she is hugging dad instead of me. She stops crying and she says, "there is something I need to tell you both. I'm pregnant."

Now dad has tears in his eyes, it has been a night for tears in the Johnson house tonight. Just as dad is about to say something Charlie walks in the room. "What's wrong, why is everyone crying?" she asks.

"It's happy tears pumpkin, only happy tears," dad says.

"Mums going to have a baby Charlie," I say.

"Really," she says. Mum nods. "I'm going to be a big sister." Charlie jumps up on my bed and gives dad and mum a big hug. I didn't expect her to be this happy. I thought she would be upset that she wouldn't be the baby anymore. I'm sure that will come later. But for now I have to enjoy this moment, while Charlie might be my only blood relative here it doesn't matter, we are a family. And when I choose Dauntless in two weeks time it will have even more meaning for me. Faction before blood, because it is this family that I have right here along with the friends I have made in Dauntless that make my life worth living.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

 **FOUR POV**

I don't know how they do things over in the Candor faction. They have that whole honesty, black and white crap that they tell everyone but seriously they have forged so many documents just for me I would hate to know how many other documents in our city are false. It isn't like I will ever tell anyone, it is to detrimental to my existence to open my mouth. But I have to wonder if there isn't someone over there who knows all the secrets we are all keeping and will one day decide it is time to start spilling them all. Dad told me that it will never happen and I trust him. So I just have to let it go and not worry about it anymore.

My nightmares are back to the basic Marcus beating me like I have always had. I have stopped screaming out in the middle of the night. I think mum and dad are happy about that; mum was really starting to worry about me. Plus she has been needing more sleep since she found out she is pregnant. Glad I won't have to be around when they have a new born waking them up at night. I still remember what a screamer Charlie was.

I'm supposed to have my aptitude test tomorrow. I don't understand why I have to go; I don't care what the test says. I'm going to pick Dauntless no matter what. Zeke is saying the same thing; we have been trying to convince dad and Hana that they should just let us hang out at home for the day. Why go to school, we aren't going back there after tomorrow and who cares if we do the test. We know where we belong. Nothing is going to change my mind.

Zeke and I are sitting at a table with the rest of the Dauntless who will be taking the aptitude test today. As usual we are one of the louder groups. The Amity and Candor tables are almost as noisy as we are. The kids from Erudite all have their noses in books. Then I look over and see the Abnegation table. I shudder as I see the kids at that table. They are all sitting quietly. No one is talking; there isn't any interaction with each other. That could have been me, it should have been me. I look at my friends sitting here with me and then I steal another look at the Abnegation table. I know I am where I belong. It is in this moment that I realise just how lucky I was that day. Not just because I am still alive but because for the last nine years I have been able to have friends. I have been able to have fun. I wouldn't have had any of that in Abnegation. I probably wouldn't even have made it to the aptitude test. I am sure Marcus would have killed me. But it also makes me think of Beatrice. I still miss her. Even after all this time. She was my one true friend. No one has ever known me like she did.

Then it makes me think of how much my real parents hate me, how to them I was nothing. I don't understand why anyone would want to be my friend when I am so broken that my parents didn't want me. I am awoken from my miserable thoughts with Zeke nudging my arm. "Dude it's your turn," Zeke says.

"What?" I say.

"The lady over there is calling your name," Zeke says pointing a lady.

I go to get up from my seat and I almost fall back down. The Abnegation are the ones who volunteer to administer the aptitude test and standing waiting for me is Natalie Prior. I haven't seen her since the day I had the fight with Beatrice. I don't even remember what we fought about only those five words she had yelled at me that had pierced my heart. Then I remember telling Mrs Prior how I was going to marry Beatrice when I grew up. That memory always makes me smile even though it then makes me sad. Beatrice thinks I'm dead and I am in a faction that she would never think of joining.

I walk over to Mrs Prior and I avoid eye contact with her. I don't want her to recognise me. Really I know that she won't but I feel that it is better to be safe than sorry. I'm definitely not the little boy that I was the last time I saw her. She motions me into the testing room and I walk into the room in front of Mrs Prior.

"Hi my names Natalie I will be administering your test today," Mrs Prior says.

The walls of the room are covered in mirrors and the ceiling is bright from the lights that are covering it. There is a long chair that is in the middle of the room with a machine next to it. I don't know what to expect in here, but I wish that Zeke and I had blown off the test like we wanted too.

"Please take a seat," she says.

I walk over to the chair and I sit down. Natalie comes over and places an electrode on my forehead and another on her own forehead. She hands me a vial of liquid. "The test will start once you drink this," she tells me. I drink the liquid and then the room goes dark.

I open my eyes and I find myself back in the cafeteria. The cafeteria is empty, only the long tables are here. Then I see two baskets on one of the tables. I hear a women's voice. It says "choose."

I walk over to the baskets and see one has a chunk of cheese in it and the other has a huge knife. I choose the knife. I can only think that the knife is useful in so many situations but the cheese, what good is that I've already eaten lunch so I'm not hungry.

I hear a door open and a really large dog has entered the room. The dog starts to growl at me. I know I have the knife in my hand but the thought of killing an innocent dog makes me feel sick. I am standing there trying to figure out a way I can get out of this situation without having to harm the dog. The dog keeps inching closer and closer to me. I keep backing away. Every time the dog moves closer I move back away from it.

Just as I think it is going to pounce I see a little girl across the room. She reminds me of Charlie, she holds out her hands and squeals, "Puppy!" I cringe as I see the dog turn towards her. The dog starts to run towards the child and I don't even think I just run after the dog and try to grab it around its huge neck. As I grab the dog I land on the floor and the dog and the girl are gone and I am sitting in the chair in the testing room.

I sit up and Natalie takes the electrodes from our heads. I am sitting waiting for her to instruct me on what to do when she hands me another vial. "I need you to drink this," she says. I just sit there looking at her. I must look confused because she raises the vial and says, "I need you to drink this now, it is really important. It is going to make you vomit but I need you to do this."

I take the vial from her hand and I drink it, it is almost instant. I start throwing my lunch up all over the place I can't stop. This feels horrible. "Stay here, I will be back in a minute," she says. I don't think I could move if I wanted to, I have stopped throwing up, I don't think there is anything left in my stomach to come up. I can hear voices outside the room but I don't know who the voices belong too. I sit back in the chair holding my stomach when Mrs Prior and the school nurse walk in.

Mrs Prior walks over to the computer and I can see that she is deleting a file. She then types something into the computer. I can't see what she has done because the nurse is now checking me over. "He should be alright," the nurse says to Mrs Prior. "You may need to find someone to take him home, if he starts vomiting again he will need to see a doctor," she says.

The nurse leaves the room and then Tori walks in. What is Tori doing here? "Hi Four," Tori says.

I just nod I'm frightened if I open my mouth I'll have more than just words come out. Tori and Mrs Prior are having a whispered conversation that I can't hear. This is getting frustrating now. "Tori is going to take you home Four, she will explain what has happened once you leave here. Your test result has been entered as Dauntless," Mrs Prior says and she leaves the room.

"Come on Four, let's get you home," Tori says.

I'm not going to argue with her. I don't want to be back in here anytime soon. We walk out of the room, we pass Mrs Prior as we are walking and I see she has a mop and bucket in her hand. I feel really bad for the mess I made. I should go back and help her clean up. Tori takes my elbow and says, "come on, we need to get you out of here, now."

It isn't until we are on the train that Tori speaks. "Four your test results weren't just for Dauntless. They also came up with an Abnegation result."

"I don't understand Tori. How can I have two results?"

"You are divergent Four," she says.

I've heard the word divergent before. Dad was talking about it; he had been having meetings with Jeanine Matthews from Erudite about it. Dad doesn't like Jeanine very much, you can tell because he is always in a bad meeting when he gets home afterwards. Jeanine is trying to hunt down people who are divergent. She is trying to convince dad that he and Dauntless should help. Dad has told her to get lost so many times.

"What does that mean Tori? How do you know about all of this?" I ask.

"Four being divergent means that you fit into more than one faction. Your brain works differently, you can't be controlled. You need to keep this secret, there are people who want to kill you," Tori says.

I knew I shouldn't have gone to the aptitude test. I knew it, I don't know how but I knew I should have just blown it off and then picked Dauntless tomorrow at the Choosing Ceremony. Now I have to worry about what happens if I'm discovered. Will it be safe to talk to dad about this or am I just putting myself in even more danger. He isn't my real dad, will he care enough to keep me safe. Marcus and Evelyn didn't care to keep me safe. They were happy to discard me as soon as they could. Will dad do the same thing now that I'm not the perfect son?

* * *

I am lying on my bed, trying not to think about what has happened today. Mum walks in and says, "Four we are going down to dinner soon."

"I'm not hungry," I say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks.

"No," I say. It is a complete lie. Yes I want to talk about it but you will want to kill me if you find out what is happening.

I don't know how long I lie there for but I can see it is dark outside now. I don't really care, I hear my stomach rumble but just ignore the hunger pains in the pit of my stomach. It probably doesn't help that Mrs Prior made me throw my lunch up all over the test room floor. I hear a soft knock on my door and see Amar enter. He is holding a tray of food for me.

"Whatever is going on Four you still need to eat," he says.

"Thanks," I say. I am really hungry and I appreciate the gesture of him bringing me something to eat.

We sit in silence while I eat the food on my plate. After I have finished eating Amar looks at me and he says, "You're divergent aren't you?"

What do I say? I don't want to lie to him but what will he do. I think back to when I was nine and Marcus had beaten me within an inch of my life. Maybe I should already be dead anyway. So what will it matter if they kill me now. Maybe I've been living on borrowed time anyway. I nod my head to answer his question. It doesn't feel as real if you don't speak. I have always felt that. Probably why I nod so many of my answers to people. Then they can't hear the emotion that I sometimes can't control in my voice.

"It's okay Four. We can help you out with this. You are going to choose Dauntless aren't you?" Amar asks.

"Of course, where else would I want to be?"

"Just checking," he says with a chuckle. "Your mum and dad thought that you may have been divergent. That's why they sent me to talk to you. You see I'm divergent too."

"Oh, what does it all mean Amar? Tori explained it to me but what is the problem, I love Dauntless I would never think of being anywhere else," I say.

"Jeanine Matthews from Erudite is trying to hunt down and either kill or experiment on anyone that is divergent. She is one sick bitch that one is. She goes through our files when we get to stage two and tries to find out who is divergent. We have had a lot of 'accidents' over the years and we know that Jeanine is involved. Your dad has been trying to stop it from happening. That is why Tori is at the aptitude tests and one of the reasons I became an initiation trainer. We are all working with Natalie Prior from Abnegation to try and stop Jeanine," he says. "Even though I will be looking after the transfers, when it comes to stage two I will be running the simulations so I can make sure nothing happens to you."

We sit and talk for a while longer. He explains how I will need to get through the simulations as a Dauntless. Amar and I have been training since I was 13. So we both know I won't have any trouble with the first stage of training. Now I will only have to get through stage two and everything should be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

 **FOUR POV**

I wake the next morning to Charlie jumping up and down on my bed.

"What are you doing?" I moan. I hate being woken up and Charlie has so much energy.

"Four are you leaving today?" she asks.

"No I couldn't leave you Charlie," I say.

"Are you sure? You're not going to leave me like mummy did?" she asks with tears in her eyes.

"No Charlie I am staying. Plus you have a better mummy now. Sasha loves you lots you know," I say.

"I know and I'm going to be a big sister soon, just like you're my big brother," Charlie says, now with a smile on her face. I can see where Charlie and I are alike. We both seem to jump from one emotion to another quite quickly.

"That's right. You will have to look after our little brother or sister and give them lots of cuddles, just like I do for you," I say. The one person I don't mind touching me is Charlie. I am fine with dad and mum but Charlie is the only one I will willing let close to me.

Charlie jumps into my arms and I give her a big cuddle, "do you want to get some breakfast?" I ask.

"Yes, let's go. Mum and dad are waiting for us," Charlie says.

I get out of bed and give Charlie a piggy back ride into the kitchen where mum and dad are sitting eating breakfast.

"You ready for today son?" dad asks me.

"I guess," I say. I don't have a problem with choosing I know where I want to be. It's the ceremony that I am having trouble with. What if he is there? What if he recognises me? What if. My thoughts are broken by my dad putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Stop worrying about it. I doubt he will be there. Dauntless are officiating this year. So I will be there for you the whole time," dad says.

"Who won't be there daddy?" Charlie asks.

"Never you mind pumpkin. Are you going to go and stand at the net with mum so you can say hi when we get back?" dad asks Charlie.

"No, I'm going to Becky's house to play. I know Four is coming back, he promised he wouldn't leave me," she says.

Dad laughs at this. I know he has been worried about my decision. Not that he doubts that I love Dauntless. I think it's just with everything that has happened over the years he is nervous that I may change my mind. I see his shoulders relax a little as Charlie mentioned those words.

"Well you better go get ready Four. We are meeting Zeke and Amar at the train tracks in half an hour," dad says.

I get up and walk into my bedroom. I am going to miss this room. I wonder what type of apartment I will get when I finish initiation. I am going to miss living with my family. Probably not first thing in the morning. I won't miss Charlie jumping on my bed in the morning but I will miss her giggles as she runs through the house.

* * *

We are the last to walk into the Choosing Ceremony. Dauntless are always the last to be ready for any official event in the city. It always drives the other faction leaders crazy. Dad says he likes to do it just to annoy them. They rely on us for their protection so they can just damn well wait. He knows that none of them will say anything to him or the other Dauntless leaders; they are all too scared they will get punched in the face.

Dad walks ahead of us and up to the podium. Zeke and I go and find our seats. I keep my head down. As much as I want to see if Marcus is here there is also a part of me that is telling me to keep a low profile, don't make myself noticeable just in case. I feel sick; I can't wait for this to be over so I can go home.

I love my dad but the garbage he has to sprout to everyone is so boring. We all know the history of the factions they made us all study it at school. At least dad is giving a brief rundown. When Candor or Erudite officiate they reckon the ceremony takes at least two hours more with all that they carry on with.

Finally they are starting to call names. Dad calls out Zeke's name and it is no surprise when he cuts his hand and lets his blood hit the Dauntless coals. There is a huge cheer and lots of clapping as Zeke walks back over to us. They are getting closer to my name. I hear my name called and I walk up to dad and take the knife out of his hand.

 **MARCUS POV**

I am sitting here watching the ceremony. It is tearing my heart apart knowing that Tobias should be here, he should be choosing today. I know they said a factionless man killed him and Evelyn but I know the truth. I know it is my fault he isn't here, but it's not really my fault. It's that slut of a woman I called my wife. It is all her fault that he isn't here. He would have been here if she hadn't been whoring around with who knows what.

The events of that day have always been blurry. I had drunk a lot of alcohol that day. Not something that we do in Abnegation ever. But I had just beaten Tobias and locked him in the cupboard. I was waiting for the whore to come home; it took five days for her to come home. By then I had been drinking for five days straight. I know I got angry when she got home but she deserved it. I know she said something about leaving me and taking Tobias with her. I was never going to let that happen. He was my only son and she was not having him.

I was so drunk I forgot that he was in the cupboard. I was slumped in my favourite chair when someone came in and started beating on me. Andrew told me later that Max and some Dauntless had found me like that. They had had a tip off from some informant that a factionless man had been bragging that he had killed me and my family. It probably would have been better if he had killed me. I am glad Evelyn is gone she was horrid to have to live with. But Tobias, I only hit him for his own good, to make him a better person. I didn't want him to turn out like his mother.

I am taken from my thoughts with Max calling out the name Four. Who the hell would call their child Four? Is this some sort of joke? I look up and see it is a Dauntless born. Of course it would be someone from Dauntless, that or it would have been someone from Amity. Those kids in Amity have ridiculous names sometimes; Orchard and Oasis come to mind.

I watch the young man, Four, from Dauntless walk up to the bowls. There is something familiar about this boy. I don't know what it is but I can't take my eyes off him. He walks with such confidence. He isn't bulky with muscle like the normal Dauntless; he has a thin frame but has more muscle than someone with his frame usually would. He looks strong and powerful. He doesn't hesitate he cuts his hand and puts his hand straight over the bowl for Dauntless. He turns to walk back over to the other Dauntless. The Dauntless section has erupted like never before, they are always bloody loud but this time the noise is deafening. Just as he has turned I get to see his full face.

I would know that face anywhere, those eyes are my eyes. Those lips are Evelyn's lips. I go to stand I want to grab him and bring him back to me but all of a sudden my world goes dark and there is nothing.

 **FOUR POV**

I am walking back over to the Dauntless; I have a smile on my face. The noise from our sections is extreme to say the least. I don't think I have ever heard the Dauntless so loud and they are loud all the time. As I am walking there is a commotion in the Abnegation section. I turn and I see him, I am frozen I can't move. All I can see is Marcus lying on the ground with people trying to help him.

Amar grabs at my arm and motions me to come and sit down. It is then that I realise that I am still standing half way between the bowls and my faction. I still can't seem to move. Dad comes over and says, "Four go and join Dauntless, now."

This seems to get me out of my daze and I walk back over and sit with my faction. I watch as they rush Marcus out of the room on a stretcher. I know he recognised me, I am sure of it. All I keep thinking is please let him be dead. Please don't let him have known it was me. I know there is nothing that he can do to me now I am Dauntless but there is also a little boy inside me who is filled with terror at what he could do to me.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

 **FOUR POV**

The rest of the ceremony went past in a blur. It feels like a lifetime since I left my home but it was only this morning. We are standing on the roof with Amar. I have Zeke and Shauna with me; thank goodness my friends are with me. I look over to the crowd of initiates and I see the one person I hoped I would never have to see again, Eric.

I can't believe he picked Dauntless, well I can he is a brute. But I was hoping he wouldn't pick Dauntless. At least him being a transfer I won't have to have much to do with him. Although now he is here I know there will come a time when I will have to fight him, he will make sure of that.

"Welcome to Dauntless!" Amar shouts. "Where you either face your fears and try not to die in the process, or you leave a coward. We've got a record low of faction transfers this year, unsurprisingly."

I and the other Dauntless start to punch the air and whoop, we all take great pride in the fact that no one wants to join us.

"The only way to get into the Dauntless compound from this rooftop is to jump of the ledge," Amar says, opening his arms wide to indicate the empty space around him. He tilts back on his heels and waves his arms around, like he's about to fall, then catches himself and grins.

"As usual, I offer the opportunity to go first to our initiates, Dauntless-born or not." He hops down from the ledge and gestures to it, eyebrows raised.

I may not like heights but I am not going to miss the opportunity to be the first jumper. "I'll do it," I say. Zeke high fives me as I walk towards the ledge and the other Dauntless-borns let out a cheer.

I get onto the ledge and I look down. Big mistake I should never have looked down. I am regretting my decision to go first but that only lasts a second or two and then I tilt forward and let myself fall. My stomach drops and my limbs fumble in the air for something, anything to hold on to, but there is nothing, only the drop, the air, the frantic search for the ground.

Then I hit a net. I am so thankful that it is over. The net curls around me. I hook my fingers in the net and pull myself toward the hands at the edge of the net. I land on my feet on a wooden platform and that is when I see dad standing there with the biggest grin on his face.

"First jumper Four," dad calls out to the crowd. I couldn't see anyone at first and then I see them. The Dauntless were hiding in the shadows. "Welcome to Dauntless," dad says as I hop of the platform and run over to give Charlie a big hug. "I told dad you would be first, I knew you wouldn't make me wait," Charlie says. I then see mum and I give her a quick hug and dad comes over and gives me a friendly slap on the shoulder. "I'm proud of you son," he says.

Zeke is the next jumper and he comes and joins me as we wait for everyone else to jump. "That was so cool, man we have to do that again," Zeke says. I am just shaking my head. There is no way I am going to do that again ever, I think to myself. Next he will want me to go zip lining with him. Shauna has finally jumped and she comes over and we all hug. We are joined by Uriah and Lynn both are ecstatic to see their siblings back in the Dauntless compound.

We are standing among the other initiates when Amar lands on the net. He rolls off the net and is having a conversation with my dad. When he has finished talking to dad he gathers us all around him in a semicircle. "My name is Amar and I will be your initiation instructor. I grew up here, and three years ago, I passed initiation with flying colours, which means I get to be in charge of all of you this year. We will all be training together. Dauntless-borns will fight each other and the transfers will only fight transfers. This is so the Dauntless-borns don't break you transfers in half."

"This year we are going to try something different. The Dauntless leaders and I want to see if knowing your fears before you begin training will better prepare you for the rest of initiation. So before we even let you have dinner we are going to do some self-discovery. Follow me," says Amar.

We follow Amar down a tunnel and then we stop at a door built into the wall. Amar shoves the door open with his shoulder and we follow him in. I have been here before, it was not long after I came to Dauntless and dad was watching the initiates go through their fear landscapes. I am thinking how I had told dad that I would only have four fears. Now is going to be my moment of truth, am I really Four or will dad be giving me shit for the rest of my life over my bold statement.

"This is the fear landscape room. A fear landscape is a simulation in which you confront your worst fears," Amar explains.

"How is that possible?" Eric says. "You don't know our worst fears."

"Eric right?" Amar says. "You're correct, I don't know your worst fears, but the serum I am going to inject you with will stimulate the parts of your brain that process fear, and you will come up with the simulation obstacles yourself, so to speak. In this simulation, unlike in the aptitude test simulation, you will be aware that what you are seeing is not real. Meanwhile, I will be in this room, controlling the simulation, and I get to tell the program embedded in the simulation serum to move on to the next obstacle once your heart rate reaches a particular level – once you calm down, in other words, or face your fear in a significant way. When you run out of fears, the program will terminate and you will 'wake up' in that room again with a greater awareness of your own fears."

"Allow me to satisfy your Erudite curiosity," he says. "You get to go first."

"But—"

"But," Amar says smoothly, "I am your instructor and it is in your best interest to do as I say. But that's ok I'm sure Four here will do the honours of going first."

I can see Eric is now sneering at Amar. I nod my head and walk up to Amar who injects me in the neck with the serum and then he takes me into the next room to start the simulation. Amar knows the trouble I'd been having at school with Eric. So we both have satisfied smirks on our faces as we pass Eric. He has just been made a fool of in front of all initiates and I'm sure he will want to prove himself as soon as possible now. I was first jumper and now I am first to go through the fear simulation, I can almost see the steam rising from his head.

I stand up straight and wait for the room to disappear.

I open my eyes and find myself on the top of a really tall building. Great I think to myself, my fear of heights. I am standing on the edge of the building. I cringe away from the edge, but the wind won't let me move backward. My hear pounds harder and faster as I confront the reality of what I have to do. I know I have to jump. I shake out my hands, squeeze my eyes shut, and scream into my teeth. Then I follow the push of the wind and I drop, fast. I hit the ground.

Searing, white-hot pain rushes through me, just for a second.

I stand up, wiping dust from my cheek, and wait for the next obstacle. I don't have to wait long before I see them. My family, Max, Sasha and Charlie are sitting tied to chairs there is a table behind them and I can see a knife and a gun on the table. Charlie is crying but Max and Sasha are just staring at me. Then I see her, Evelyn, she has a gun in her hand. I run towards the table trying to get to the weapons before she has time to shoot. I am running as I hear the first shot ring out. I see dads head fall and I know he is dead. I have stopped in front of Charlie when the second shot rings out and I see mums head fall. Charlie is screaming now, the noise makes my heart beat faster. I lean over Charlie and reach for the gun. As I turn with the gun in my hand Evelyn has shot another bullet from her gun. The bullet goes through my stomach and hits Charlie. I don't think I just shoot Evelyn in the head, right between her eyes. My family might be dead and I may be dying but there is no way I will ever choose Evelyn over the family that loves me.

I am still slouched over holding my stomach when the room changes again. The pain from my stomach wound has gone. I am sitting on the ground trying to catch my breath when I feel small fists hitting me around my head and shoulders. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Why didn't you tell me you were alive," Beatrice is screaming at me. She may only be seven just like the day she told me she hated me but it doesn't matter it still fills me with the guilt I have been carrying with me for the last seven years. She doesn't stop hitting me and she is crying now. I grab her hands to stop her from hitting me. I am trying to think of how I can get out of this. I may have stopped her from hitting me but she is still screaming how she hates me. Every time she tells me she hates me I know my heart rate is going up. "Stop," I yell. I know I would not usually raise my voice like this, especially not to Beatrice but I need her to stop, I need her to listen to me. I need her to know the truth even if it is just a simulation.

Beatrice is startled and has stopped yelling at me, the room goes dark. I am moving on to the next obstacle. A circle of light envelopes me, and at its edge, I see worn gray shoes pacing. Marcus steps into the edge of the light, but not the Marcus that I remember. This one has pits for eyes and a gaping black maw instead of a mouth.

Another Marcus stands beside him, and slowly, all around the circle, more and more monstrous versions of him step forward and surround me. The first Marcus undoes his belt and slides it out from around his waist; the other Marcus's do the same. I know what is coming; it is the nightmare that I have lived with almost every night since Max rescued me from Abnegation.

"This is for your own good," they all say to me as they whip me with their belts. "It is your fault she isn't home; she doesn't come home because she doesn't want you." I am screaming from the pain but I also know I need to calm down; I need my heart rate to go down. I think back to this morning when I was woken by Charlie jumping on my bed. She is giggling as she jumps. I concentrate on the sound of her giggles until the room goes black again.

I stand up waiting for the next obstacle but all I hear are footsteps. I look up to see Amar has re entered the room. "Well I can't believe it, Max was right. He told me you were only going to have four fears, I didn't believe him. Looks like you've really earned your name now Four," he says.

We walk out of the room and into the room where all the initiates are standing waiting for their turn. "Well good luck everyone. We have a new fear landscape record. Four here only has four fears. I can't wait to see if any of you can beat that," Amar says. He is looking straight at Eric as he says it. "Four you can go and get your stuff from home and bring it down to the Dauntless-born dormitory. We will see you at dinner." I go to walk out of the room and Zeke gives me a high five. I'd be smiling if I wasn't feeling so haunted by the images I had just seen in my fear landscape.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

 **FOUR POV**

I walk into our apartment and see mum and dad sitting on the lounge. I wonder if they have been waiting for me to make an appearance. They both would have known I would be coming here to grab my clothes. I'm glad I got to come up here and see them before I go to the dormitory. I am really glad to see them alive after what I just witnessed in my fear landscape.

"Well?" dad asks. "Are we still able to call you Four?"

I can't help but smile now. Remembering back to that day when I told dad I would only have four fears. "I told you," I say.

Dad starts laughing. He then tells mum about how he gave me my name. She looks over to me and says, "are you kidding me, you really only have four fears?"

I nod and go over and give my dad a hug. Although we are having a laugh about it, it shows just how much faith dad has had in me, right from the beginning. I don't think I would have been able to get through the last few years if I hadn't had his support. I sit down and we are all talking when I see a black and white picture on the coffee table.

"What's that?" I ask.

"That is a picture of your baby brother," mum says.

"You're having a boy?"

"We are," says dad with a huge smile on his face.

"I won't be the favourite son anymore," I say. I am joking and luckily my parents can see that and start to laugh with me.

"I think this little guy is going to have a lot to live up too with you as his big brother," mum says while rubbing her stomach.

I am really happy for dad and mum. But especially dad. He has been the best dad I could have asked for. He has never treated me like anything other than his son. He didn't have too and he could have kicked me out when Evelyn left, but he didn't, he has always been here for me. I have no doubt that he always will. I feel really happy for him. I am especially happy that he is going to be able to have this son with mum, they have treated me so well and mum has treated Charlie and me like we are her own. I'm a little jealous but not because they are having this baby, it's because the baby will only know love and lots of it. They won't have the nightmares that plague my sleep every night. Or have the sadness that Charlie sometimes feels when she thinks of Evelyn. It doesn't happen very often to Charlie and ever since mum and dad got married Charlie has been nothing but happy.

* * *

I am sitting on my bed waiting for Shauna and Zeke to come back from collecting their clothes from home. It's weird to think that we will all have our own apartments soon, not have to live with our parents anymore. I think I'm going to miss that, although I won't miss getting grounded. And now Zeke and I can finally play dare again. I can't wait to rub that in to Uriah. He has another two years before he is allowed to play. The last game of dare we played always brings a smile to my face.

"What are you smiling about?" Zeke asks.

"Just thinking about our last game of dare and that we can now play it again," I say.

Zeke's eyes light up. "I forgot that, YES! We can play it again. We are going to have to organise a game. I bet Amar will be in on it," Zeke says.

"As long as Lynn isn't playing," says Shauna. "She is just waiting to get me back for making her shave her head; mum was so pissed at me."

Zeke and I are both laughing. Lucky Lynn is banned from dare too or Shauna would cop it big time from her sister.

* * *

I wake up in a white room with bright fluorescent lights above me. I look down and see I have a hospital gown on and tubes and electrodes hooked up to different parts of my body. Where the hell am I? How did I get here? Then I remember. Tobias.

The machine next to me starts beeping loud and fast. As I think back to the Choosing Ceremony the beeps are getting quicker and I'm finding it hard to breath. A nurse comes into the room.

"Mr Eaton you need to calm down, you are going to faint again if you don't calm down," she says.

I can't calm down I think to myself, I just saw my dead son. I need to get out of here, I have to go and see this Four. He needs to know his father. I start to rise from the bed when the nurse pushes me back down. "Calm down Mr Eaton," she tells me again. "If you don't calm down we are going to have to sedate you."

"I don't care, I am leaving and I am leaving now," I demand. I go to stand up but I am feeling dizzy. All I can think is that I need to get out of this place. The nurse is trying to get me back into bed, she has pushed a button on the wall and a loud wailing noise is now piercing my ears.

All of a sudden what looks like a doctor, security and Jeanine Matthews has walked into my room. What the hell does that woman want? Jeanine is the last person I would want to see in my room.

"He won't calm down, he is insisting on leaving," the nurse says to the people who have just come into my room.

"We will need to sedate him," the doctor says. He leaves the room and comes back with a needle in his hand.

"I don't need sedation," I tell them. "I need to see my son; you need to let me see my son."

The doctor pushes the needle into the IV that is in my arm. The effects are almost instant, I start to get drowsy.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

 **MARCUS POV**

I wake up and find myself still in the hospital room with this stupid hospital gown on. I need to find a way out of this place. I don't even know how long I have been here or why I am here. I press the call button next to my bed. I know I need to keep calm this time or they may try to sedate me again. I better start trying to act like the Abnegation leader that they all think I am.

"Ah Mr Eaton you're awake," says the all too cheery nurse. "I'll just go and get the doctor for you."

I sit here waiting for the doctor to arrive. They don't do anything in a hurry here I see. It has been a good ten minutes before the doctor finally pops his head in. And Jeanine is here again. What is she doing here? Better put my do gooder face on and pretend I am grateful for their help.

"Good morning Mr Eaton I'm Doctor Adams," he says. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I am feeling well. How are you feeling?" I say. Trying to remember that I am supposed to try to deflect the attention from me. Which is just a load of crap. I just want to ask why I am here and when can I get out.

"Well your test results have come back clear. You gave everyone a bit of a scare at the Choosing Ceremony yesterday. Now it seems you have only had a fainting episode. Now this can be brought on by such things as an unpleasant sight, heat or even sudden pain. When this happens it can temporarily cause the autonomic nervous system to stop working properly. That can result in a fall in your blood pressure and I believe that is why you fainted."

"So your blood pressure seems to be back to normal now, so I will get the documents in order and you will be released within the hour," Doctor Adams tells me. "Now do you have anyone who can take you home?"

"I can see to that," Jeanine says.

"Okay then. If you have any further troubles Mr Eaton please make sure you come back in. It might be a good idea to see your own doctor in a few days time, just for a check up, especially your blood pressure," Doctor Adams says. Both the doctor and nurse leave the room and now I am just stuck with Jeanine.

"What do you want?" I ask Jeanine. I can't stand this woman and I'm not about to play nice with her. Especially when I am lying here half naked in this ridiculous gown.

"Now, now Marcus. You had a lot of people worried yesterday. I need to make sure that Abnegation can still run our government," Jeanine says.

"Rubbish you don't care about me. And you know the government will be fine without me there for a few days. So what do you really want?"

"I am interested in what caused you to faint yesterday Marcus. From where I was sitting you seemed rather distressed when that Dauntless boy was choosing," Jeanine says.

I can tell she knows a lot more than she is letting on. Do I let her know who I think he is? I know I can't trust her; I may as well be doing a deal with the devil. But I need answers. If that was my son then I need to know. Jeanine may well be the only person who can help me. She is more cunning than even the best lawyers they have over at Candor. Maybe she can help me to get to the truth.

"I am sure he is Tobias," I say. I know I am going to regret this but I have to find out the truth. I need to know the truth.

"Marcus, Tobias is dead. Why would you think that boy was him? I think you should have stayed home yesterday, I think that the fact it would have been his choosing day has clouded your judgement."

"You're wrong Jeanine. Did you see him? He has my eyes, Evelyn's facial features. I am telling you it is him. That boy is my Tobias," I say. I hate talking to this woman about this, but I don't have a choice. I am going to need help.

"Say it is him Marcus, what can you do about it anyway? He chose Dauntless. Faction before blood Marcus, have you forgotten this? He is gone there is nothing you can do about it."

"There has to be a way I can find out the truth, there has to be. I need to know. I need the chance to." I stop what I am saying I can't let her know what I am thinking. I can't let her know that I need the chance to beat the living shit out of him for leaving me. I need her to think that I love the boy and want a relationship with him. That I want to find his mother if she is still alive and wring her bloody neck.

"Well Marcus there may be a way in which you can help me and then I may be able to help you to find the truth," Jeanine says with a smirk on her face. I knew she would want something, she knew all along what I was thinking. She heard me mention his name just before I fainted yesterday. I have been stupid; I have played straight into her hands. I hate this woman.

"What do you want Jeanine?"

"What I would really like is for Abnegation to hand control over of the government over to Erudite," she says.

"That will never happen, I may be the leader but I don't have that kind of power," I say. Although I want that kind of power. I want to be able to rule this city, not with the Abnegation but just me as the leader of everyone. Have complete control. I can't let her know that it is the complete control that I want. But I also know I can't bargain with her over it either. I would never have someone like Jeanine running our city. That would be catastrophic for everyone.

"I didn't think so, but I had to put it out there. What I would like is to know which of your members are Divergent Marcus. I need information and I may need to borrow I few of them for testing," she says.

Is she kidding? "Why do you need this information Jeanine? What benefit is it? And what the hell do you mean by testing?"

"Marcus it is for the safety of our city. The divergent are dangerous. We need to study them and make sure that if there is ever any trouble we can control them," she says.

"I don't think so Jeanine," I say. I'm divergent, there is no way I am going to let her test me. There is no way I will ever let her know that I'm what she is looking for.

"Well Marcus you know where you can find me if you change your mind. I am sure I can find out what you are looking for. You do know we have tests that can give you the answers you are seeking," she says. Then she just walks out the door.

This has left me with a lot to think about. Can she really help me? Is it worth harming other people so that I get the answers that I am looking for? I need time to think all of this through. I need to try and get some answers myself. As leader of Abnegation I should be able to get the answers myself. I shouldn't have to use Jeanine. Although I think that if I can't get what I want I may just have to play along with Jeanine.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

 **FOUR POV**

I love the training room. It is the place I have spent almost every day training with Amar in for the last few years. Every morning before school I would get up and come down here and workout with Amar. It all sought of started by accident. I remember I was about twelve and I came down here just to check it out. It was the year before Amar would have his Choosing Ceremony.

Amar wanted to be the best; he had been training for years. I would say he is the best but I think I could take him now if we had a real fight. Not that I would want too. I don't actually like hitting people; I don't like to inflict pain if I don't have too. But I like the feeling that I have the power and strength to do it.

So I was watching him train one morning, I had been watching for a couple of weeks, when Amar noticed me sitting in the corner.

"Hey Four, what you doing?" he asked me.

"Just watching," I replied.

"Want to try?" he asks. He is pointing at the punching bag. I nod my head and start to walk over to Amar and the punching bag. He showed me some easy moves. And from that day on we have been training together.

Now he is my instructor. I suppose he has been my instructor for years now but he was also my friend. Now we can't have our usual joke around while we are working. Now I have to show him the respect he deserves as he trains us. Not that I am going to need much training, it is just as well. I am not looking forward to having to fight any one. I think the best thing to do is to get it over with as quickly as possible. Try and knock them out quickly. I really hope Amar doesn't match me against one of the girls. I would hate to have to hurt one of them. But I will if I have too, my aim is to be ranked first. Make dad proud.

"Okay initiates gather round," Amar says. As he waits for everyone to gather around him I stand there and get to see just who has transferred to Dauntless and who chose to stay. I hadn't really taken much notice last night with everything that was going on. "Today we are going to learn how to shoot a gun and then we are going to learn some fighting moves. Transfers as I said yesterday you will be training with the Dauntless-borns but for stage one you will be ranked separately. You will also only have fights with other transfers."

"Why can't we fight the Dauntless-borns?" Eric asks. He is a lot more confident today than he was yesterday when we had to go through our fear landscapes. I know the only reason he is asking is because he wants to fight me. I know he thinks he can beat me, all because he got that one punch in that time at school. I think if I had to fight, Eric is the person I wouldn't feel bad about hitting. He just grates on my nerves. He is exactly the type of person that dad and the other leaders have been trying to weed out of Dauntless. Sadistic bastards who are only here because it gives them an excuse to hurt others.

"Well Eric I think it is in your best interest that you stick to fighting the transfers. From what I know you are only good in a fight when you sneak up on the person," Amar says. The Dauntless-borns are snickering in the background at Eric now. Everyone knows how he gave me that black eye. They also know that he usually only tries to pick on Dauntless-borns that are a few years younger than he is.

At least this shuts Eric up for the time being and we get to start playing with the guns. Amar hands us each a gun and we go and line up in front of the targets.

Amar walks over to where I am standing and he says, "Why don't you give yourself a challenge today? Shoot with your left hand."

I just nod and give him a smirk. Too easy I think. I have been practising with both hands for two years. I don't mind though, I love feeling the power of having the gun in my hand, placing my fingers around the cold metal, watching as the bullets hit the target exactly where I want them too. Not that I would want to shoot someone but I'm glad I know how.

* * *

Fights have been going well. I have been giving Shauna lessons every night. She isn't very good at fighting and I know she wants to do well. At least we know if we do well we will all pass initiation. They were talking about introducing cuts. They were thinking of cutting the lowest ranked initiates. But dad decided because we had such low numbers this year they would allow everyone to become a member as long as they were competent. I'm thankful that these are the rules. I would hate to see one of my friends cut. Or any of the Dauntless-born really. Although seeing Eric cut would be a treat, but it wouldn't happen anyway, he is the highest ranked transfer, he is going to make it into Dauntless easily.

I have to fight Zeke today. I have been dreading this all morning as I watched the other fights. We have been sitting together watching the other fights but we haven't been talking. Zeke knows I can beat him and he also knows I don't like to harm my opponents. I don't know what he will do when we get into the ring. Zeke has never been a good fighter but he can hold his own. My other two fights were won easily. I just kept blocking their shots until they left their faces unguarded and then one punch knocked them both out. It was the easiest way to get through the matches with the least amount of damage. My fight against Chad only lasted twenty five seconds. I felt bad for him afterwards; it was really embarrassing for him.

I can see Amar is about to call Zeke and me over. "You ready for this?" Zeke asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"It's about time you had some competition," Zeke jokes as we walk up to the mat. I chuckle a little; I don't want to act too confident in front of my friend. Zeke has always been here for me. He was my first friend in Dauntless, he knows me better than anyone else although he doesn't know who my real father is. He knows that Max is only me step dad, I'm sure most of Dauntless know. Especially with the fact that you can tell just by looking at us. There is nothing about me that would make people think that Max is my dad, other than the fact I call him dad and we act like father and son.

"Make this quick will you, I'd really like to go to lunch," Amar say with a laugh.

"Not a problem Amar, I'll have him knocked out in a minute," says Zeke with a huge grin on his face. This just makes Amar laugh even more.

We are in the ring and Zeke is jumping around, a lot like Uriah does when he has had three pieces of Dauntless cake. He is jumping around and throwing wild punches that aren't anywhere near hitting me. I can see he is leaving his face open. So I say, "I'm really sorry Zeke." And then I punch him. He is out.

"I think that is a new record Four, it only took you fifteen seconds," Amar says. "Dump Zeke in the infirmary and then head to lunch."

"Lunch everyone," Amar yells to the rest of the group as Shauna helps me to get Zeke to the infirmary.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

 **AMAR POV**

We are half way through stage two of training. Stage two is the hardest to watch. It rubs you raw after watching the initiates face their fears. Although some days you will get a laugh but not enough to forget what you have been witnessing all day. I think this will be my last year training initiates, I have had enough. I am really hoping that Four will want to take over my position. I have seen him training Shauna and he did a great job.

I know Max wants Four for a leadership role but he could handle that and training the initiates. He is a thinker and we don't have many like that in Dauntless. I know he will be ranked first so he will have the choice of whatever he wants when it comes to a job. I sometimes wonder if he even wants to be a leader. I know he would be a great leader but I'm not sure that is what he wants to do. It feels like if he did take the position he would be doing it for Max not himself. I hope that's not the case, he needs to remember to do it for himself.

I haven't been watching what has been happening on the screen to lost in my own thoughts. It doesn't matter really, Eric is in here and he is the last for today. It won't take long, Eric never does. Sometimes I wonder if he is divergent, the way he can calm himself in the simulation, he might not manipulate what is happening but the way he acts in there, the way he can control his breathing, the way he just faces the fear head on and doesn't move while it is happening. This makes me believe that he could be divergent but without any manipulating I can't be sure. Maybe he is just that cold and lifeless, he's not one you can warm up too easily if at all.

I know all Eric really wants to do is to rank first and become a leader. He has made that very clear to anyone that will listen. Problem is that there is one person who is standing in his way. It will be interesting to see how he reacts when he finds himself ranked second. There is no way he will beat Four. Eric was almost useless with a knife and while he is a good shot he is not consistent. He doesn't have the focus that Four has. He doesn't respect the training he has been given. He thinks that fighting was the most important part of stage one. Fighting is such a small part of the training process. It didn't help that his team lost at capture the flag. Or that it was his strategy that had caused his team to lose. He is a loose cannon and if I could have him guarding the fence for the rest of his life then I would.

 **FOUR POV**

Last day of initiation today, finally. I am the last of the Dauntless-born to go through because I am ranked first. Amar told me that he thinks I will rank first after we finish today. I hope so. Amar also told me that he wants to step down from training the initiates. He would like to move on to training the Dauntless guards, it is an all year round job and he wouldn't have to deal with transfers anymore. He thinks I would make a good trainer, he saw how I helped Shauna with her fighting technique. I hadn't really thought about it, I did enjoy training Shauna. But I have to think of the transfers we may get. I might not have to train transfers; I might actually get the Dauntless-born initiates. It could be fun either way, a break from whatever job I choose.

Dad wants me to go into leadership with him. I don't have a problem with being a leader, dad does such a good job that it would be great to work with him. Especially now we won't be living in the same apartment. Plus it means I would get an apartment in the leadership wing. It would be a down grade from what I am use to if I choose differently. I still have reservations though; Marcus is still leader of Abnegation. Marcus still haunts my dreams at night and is ever present in my fears. I don't know if I'm ready to face him in reality. I have a lot to think about between now and job choosing, I hope I get a chance to talk to dad about it beforehand.

* * *

I am hanging in the dorm with Zeke and Shauna. We are waiting for the transfers to finish in their fear simulation then we will have the rankings and a banquet. Over half of Dauntless are already drunk and I am sure we will be among them soon. It will be good to let loose and party.

"What job do you think you'll pick?" Shauna asks.

"I hope I can get the control room," Zeke says. "Mum used to let me come to work with her and showed me how it all works."

I just shrug. I still haven't made up my mind yet.

"You know you are going to be ranked first Four, won't you go into leadership with your dad?" Shauna says.

"Yeah Four aren't you going to go into leadership? We all know you are only going to be ranked high because of your daddy," says Eric who has just walked into the room.

"Bullshit," says Zeke. "He has done it all by himself. You're just jealous because he is going to beat you in the rankings."

"Whatever," says Eric. "He hasn't beaten me in a fight yet, until he does that I will never accept that he is ranked higher than me."

"That can be arranged," says Shauna.

"Just leave it guys," I say. "This isn't your dorm Eric so why don't you piss off back to your own."

Eric leaves but he knows he has got under my skin, I'm not usually one to use profanity and I have shown him that he has got to me. I stand up and kick my bed.

"You should fight him Four, he needs to be brought down a peg or two. You know you can beat him," Zeke says.

"I know. I knew the minute he chose Dauntless that it would happen," I say. "He just makes me sick."

"Don't worry about it now, let's go and see how we ranked, it's almost time," Shauna says.

* * *

We get to the dining hall and it is packed. Dauntless has come out in its finest. Piercings and tattoos are all on display. There is more than one person that is shirtless, showing off the ink they are proud to carry on their bodies. It is so loud in here that you cannot have a conversation with the person next to you unless you are shouting. We have been here before we know we may as well just sit in silence and wait.

Finally dad gets up onto one of the tables and raises his hands to ask for quiet. Some are still talking but he has been lucky to get the crowd to quieten down to just a dull murmur. At least we can hear him now. He gives the same speech every year, but the Dauntless don't care, they are just happy to have a reason to party. Welcoming new members is the biggest party of the year and it makes everyone a little nostalgic. It is when they all start to get a little drunk that the initiation stories start to come out.

"A few weeks ago, a group of scrawny, scared initiates gave their blood to the coals and made the big jump into Dauntless," dad says. "To be honest, I didn't think any of them would make it." He pauses to let the crowd laugh, as he does every year. "I am pleased to announce that this year, all of our initiates attained the required scores necessary to become Dauntless."

Everyone cheers. It is a relief to know that my friends will be staying with me here in Dauntless. I know Shauna and Zeke are nervous, the rankings will determine what job we can get. Zeke puts his arm across Shauna's shoulders and squeezes.

"No more delays," dad says. "I know our initiates are jumping out of their skins. So here are our new Dauntless members. I look to the screen that is just behind where dad is standing.

I look from the bottom and move my eyes over the names. Shauna has ranked eighth and Zeke is in sixth. I keep looking up and then I see it. First, my name is in first spot. YES! I think. I beat him, Eric is rank second.

Shauna is yelling and Zeke is cheering as we start hugging each other and jumping up and down. This is the best feeling. Knowing my friends and I are now officially members I am ecstatic. I think I hear Zeke yelling something like 'party time' and I know it will be tonight.

Then something happens that I didn't see coming. Eric has gotten on a table and says, "This is bullshit." He has said it so loud that the whole of the room has gone silent. I look up to find him pointing his finger. "You don't deserve to be ranked first," he says.

It feels like everyone is looking at me. It feels it because everyone is looking at me.

"You haven't fought me yet. I deserve to fight him before I have to be ranked second," he says.

"Eric get down you are making a fool of yourself," says Amar.

Dad has walked over to where I am standing. I look at him and he says, "Do you want to fight him?"

"No, but I will," I say. I know I need to do this. Not only for myself but for dad and for Amar too. I have to do this for Amar. We have been training for this for four years. I didn't know at the time that it was for this particular situation but it is now.

Eric has gotten off the table and is now standing next to Amar who is standing next to me. The Dauntless haven't said a word. They are all standing silent, waiting to see how this will end. This isn't only a test for me it is a test for my dad. While the Dauntless will accept whatever the outcome is and will support both me and dad before they will support some cocky Erudite transfer, I know that if I don't go through with this I will be looked upon as a coward. And if there is one thing I am not going to be it is a coward.

"I think we should settle this in the training room then," dad says.

"I think that is a good idea," says Amar. "But I think we should make this a little more interesting."

"We all know you want a leadership role Eric. So if you win then you get the role but if you lose."

I don't let Amar finish. "If you lose," I say. "You guard the fence for the rest of eternity."

I finally see it. Fear in Eric's eyes. It is fine to call me out for a fight but now he is having to put his career on the line. The one that he so desperately wants. Eric is power hungry, he wants the leadership role and if he can't get it he at least wanted a job that would give him a pathway to it in the future. If he is guarding the fence then there is no pathway to anywhere.

"Fine," Eric says. I can see he isn't happy about it. But I don't think anyone else can see it. He can't back down now anyway, he has called me out in front of all of Dauntless, if he backs down he will be the coward and everyone will see it. They will know what only a small number of us have known all along.

"Okay well now that it is settled let's get this over with so we can enjoy the party," Amar says.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

 **FOUR POV**

Eric and I walk into the training room side by side. The whole dining hall of people seem to be following. This is when my dad speaks up. "The fight will be in the pit in five minutes. Go and get yourselves a good vantage point."

There isn't enough room in the training room for everyone so it is a smart decision to have it in the pit. I am sure there will be more than one accident just from the drunks watching. Someone is sure to try to watch the fight from above and fall. Breaking a few bones or worse die. But that is all part of being Dauntless.

We walk out of the training room and into the pit. Everyone who was in the dining hall is here plus extras. It looks like the whole of Dauntless has heard what is happening and have come to watch the show. I can even see some of the shops have closed their doors and the owners are all out watching.

I don't like having this much attention on me. I don't like any attention on me. I have always been able to hang back and let others take the attention for themselves. It was easily done with Zeke as your best friend. He is always laughing and joking, he is the life of the party. But now I have to step up. I have to be brave. And most of all I have to wipe that smirk of Eric's face for good.

The thought of him having to guard the fence forever makes me smile on the inside. I am not going to show any emotion here, not now. I need to stay focused; I need to stay in control. Amar steps into the centre and says, "Begin."

I get into my fighting stance and I wait. Eric may be a good fighter but he isn't a great fighter. I know he will try and make the first move. I have been watching his fights and he always goes for a hit to the jaw. He tries to stun his opponent quickly so he can then inflict as much damage as possible while the person is still reeling from his first punch.

Then I see it, he has tried to hit me in the jaw. I block the punch and counter with a punch to his stomach. He is momentarily stunned. So I hit him again this time on his jaw. He is moving backwards now but I am moving with him like he is my prey. I want this over with. I want him out of Dauntless, I may not be able to get him out but I can get him as far from me and my friends as possible. And that is all the motivation I need.

I remember every time he has tried to beat me up at school, I remember that coward punch he landed that day. How he then made out that I started it and he got away with it. I want everyone to know what a real coward he is. So I hit him again and again. Each time in the face, every punch is stronger than the last. I then kick his feet out from under him. He is floundering now. He is just throwing wild uncontrolled punches at me. A few connect but they are nothing, there is no strength behind them.

So I bend down on one knee and I just keep punching him in the face. I hear his nose crack, that will definitely be a break. I see a tooth come flying out of his bloodied mouth. I am actually enjoying this now. For every time I have stopped myself from inflicting harm on others I am now taking it all out on Eric. I don't hear the yelling and the cheering but I know it will be there. Dauntless loves a blood bath and it is exactly what I am giving them.

One more punch to the head and I know he is unconscious. I don't care though. I stand up and I start randomly kicking him. I only stop when I feel Amar and dad dragging me away from him.

"Calm down," Amar says. "You need to calm down now."

I look him in the eyes and take a deep breath. "I'm fine, it's okay, I'm fine," I say. I know I'm not fine and that it isn't okay. I feel like I have just taken my first steps towards being just like Marcus. I know I enjoyed that fight a little too much. And this is why I haven't wanted to fight, I know that I could turn out just like Marcus; I can feel it in my bones. It is always just there below the surface, waiting to appear and today it did. I might have won the fight but it doesn't feel like a victory to me. I feel like I am turning into the person that I never wanted to become.

"Don't beat yourself up son; you did what you had too. He asked for it and you gave him what he wanted," dad says. He knows what I am thinking, we have had so many nights of me talking about why I don't want to fight and that I don't want to turn out like Marcus.

Part of me knows what he is saying is true, but the other part of me feels sick at what I was able to inflict upon Eric. "Go get a shower and come back and party with your friends. It's your night we can talk about this tomorrow, go enjoy yourself you deserve it," dad says.

And while I am feeling a range of negative emotions about myself at the moment. I also know that I have been waiting for this day for so long. Now I am able to party as a Dauntless member, a real Dauntless member. So I am going to take dads' advice and go and have a shower and then I will party.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

 **FOUR POV**

Last night was insane. I can already feel by the pounding in my head that we had a pretty wild night. I still have my eyes closed but I can feel a warm body next to me and something or should I say someone is lying on top of me. How the hell did that happen?

I hear a moan coming from beside me and I decide I better open my eyes and inspect the damage. I open my eyes to find that I am spooning Zeke. What the hell! How did this happen? I move my head ever so slightly, any fast movement will find me rushing to the toilet to vomit I think. I move my head and find my face covered in some body's hair. I lift my head up and see that is Shauna lying on top of Zeke and me. This is weird I have no idea how I got here or how I ended up in this position.

"Zeke," I say. Nothing. "Zeke wake up," I say a little louder. I really don't want to have to raise my voice right now. So I start to shake Zeke's shoulder.

"What? What do you want?" he asks.

"Open your eyes," I say.

Zeke opens his eyes and turns his head. "What the fuck? How did this happen?" he says.

I'm laughing now although it really hurts, the little drummer in my head feels like he is hitting the side of my skull with a sledge hammer. I hope no one got a photo of this; we will never live it down.

"Shauna, wake up," says Zeke.

She tries to roll as she is moaning and she rolls straight off Zeke and me and onto the floor. "Ouch, that hurt," she whines.

Zeke and I are now sitting up and laughing at Shauna. She is sitting now and rubbing her head, she has the worst bed hair ever, wait till she looks in the mirror. She will totally freak out.

"Oh my god," she yells as she points to me. "Look at your hair."

"What?" I ask and then I feel for my hair. It's gone. What? What? Crap what is going on. I jump out of bed as quickly or I should say as slowly as my body will let me and head for the mirror. I look in the mirror and all my long hair is gone.

Zeke starts laughing. "Don't you remember we played dare last night? Todd dared you to cut your hair like an Abnegation," Zeke says still laughing at me.

"Crap, why did you let me do it? Why didn't you stop me?" I say. Not at all happy with my new hair cut.

"Four take a closer look," says Shauna. What the hell is she on about? "You look hot." I stare at her with my I am going to burn holes into your eyeballs any minute. "Seriously, take a closer look. You're not just hot, you look really hot." I look back at the mirror but all I see is me with a hell of a lot less hair.

"The girls are going to go nuts over you. Not that they weren't already, but now, wow you are going to get some action," Shauna says. I moan at the thought of this. It's not that I don't like girls I'm just not interested in any of that. The girls here are too pushy and I never know what to say to them.

A few weeks ago I went on a double date with Zeke. My date lasted five minutes before she was hitting me with her handbag and walking off in a huff. I didn't even know what I had done wrong. Far out, what am I going to do?

I turn back towards Zeke and then I notice his leg. "What did you do?" I say to Zeke while I am pointing at his leg. He looks down and there is a black plaster cast around his leg.

"Shit, how did that get there?" Zeke asks.

"How the hell would I know?" I say.

"There's a note attached to it," says Shauna.

Zeke picks up the note and reads it to us. "Dear Mr Pedrad, please come to the infirmary once you have sobered up. We need to re-x-ray your leg as we could not get a clear image last night due to your intoxication. Hope your hang over isn't too severe this morning. Doctor Simon."

"When did I even do this? Man we must have got up to some crazy shit last night," says Zeke.

We all just look at each other and start to laugh. Then we look at Shauna's arm. "Oh no," I say.

They can both see me looking at Shauna. "What?" she asks.

"Look at your arm," I say.

Shauna looks down at her arm and she sees it and screams, "NOOOO!"

There is a tattoo on her bicep that reads: I love Zeke forever in a big red heart.

This is so funny, she will probably kill us for laughing at her but still it will be worth it. "I'm going to have to go and see Tori. See if she can do something about it," Shauna says.

"First I think we should get Zeke back to the infirmary and get his leg looked at. Then I would really love some breakfast. Wait can we do breakfast first? I am starving. Then after breakfast we can do Zeke's leg and then we can go to the tattoo parlour and see what Tori can do with that tattoo."

"Maybe you should keep it," says Zeke. "I think I look really good there on your arm."

I don't think that was what Shauna wanted to hear. She has a huge crush on Zeke and he has no idea. I know she isn't ready to tell him yet she is scared he will just want a play thing like he usually does with the girls he dates. Hopefully he will wake up soon and realise how good they would be together.

"Maybe I will," she says. "Though it will probably cause you a few problems Zeke."

"How's it going to cause me problems, I think it looks awesome," he says.

"Who's going to date you when I have your name tattooed on my arm? I don't think any of your little girlfriends are going to be happy about it," she says.

"I don't care what those girls think, they don't mean anything anyway. Maybe I will just have to date you instead. I mean if I'm already on your arm then maybe."

Zeke is cut off from saying whatever he was about to say by Shauna crushing her lips to Zeke's.

"Does that mean we can take going to the tattoo parlour of our to do list?" I ask.

This breaks them apart and they are too busy staring at each other to take any notice to what I have just said.

"Come on, I'm starving," I say.

We walk out of the dorm room with Zeke and Shauna holding hands; well they are trying to hold hands while Zeke walks with the crutches he found next to his bed. We walk into the pit and we see are group of people standing around the rock climbing wall looking up.

We look up to see the funniest sight ever. Uriah is asleep or maybe past out in a harness hanging from the wall upside down. Zeke, Shauna and I burst out laughing, it is the funniest sight. I'm wondering how he got there when Hana Zeke's mum comes up to us. "What did you do to my baby?" she asks. We have no idea what she is talking about, how are we involved in this.

Just then Amar walks up with a grin on his face. "Great night guys," he says. "How are you all feeling today?"

"Amar how did my baby get up there?" Hana asks pointing to where Uriah is hanging. Amar looks up and bursts out laughing. "Don't you guys remember?" says Amar. We all shake our heads, completely clueless,

"Well Hana, Zeke and Four decided to play snakes and ladders last night. Uriah was with them so they made him put a harness on so you wouldn't get mad. But Zeke fell off the wall and he didn't have a harness on and by the looks of it you broke your leg. So I think when we rushed Zeke of to the infirmary we must have left Uriah up there," Amar says whilst trying not to laugh.

Zeke and I burst into laughter and Zeke says, "so he has been there all night?" This just makes us laugh even harder.

As we are starting to calm down dad appears next to us. "Nice hair cut son," he says. I'd forgotten all about my hair cut with everything else that has been happening around me this morning. It was a very eventful night it seems.

"Hi dad, yeah it would be good if I remembered how I got it," I mumble. Still not sure if I like what has been done.

Dad just starts laughing at me, "well you might not have a Dauntless hair style any more but you definitely partied like you belong in Dauntless. Now we just have to try and find a safe way to get Uriah down. I am dreading when it's his initiation, if he can get in this much trouble now what's going to happen in two years time." He is laughing and he puts an arm around Hana's shoulders and says to her, "come on, let's go and try and get your baby down safely Hana."

As he starts walking with Hana he turns and says, "Don't forget you have job choosing later today."

I nod my head and say, "let's go eat. I don't want to be anywhere near Uriah when they finally get him down."

"I agree," says Zeke. And we walk over to the dining hall for some much needed food.

* * *

I dropped Zeke off at the infirmary; it seems he wasn't the only broken bone they couldn't look at properly last night. The waiting room is full of other Dauntless members with casts on their legs and arms. It would be comical if it wasn't so serious. I suppose I should be grateful I only got a haircut. I decide not to stay with him, there are enough people there to keep him company, plus I would really love to talk to dad before I have to choose a job.

I walk up to my apartment. Technically it's not mine anymore but it will always feel like home to me. I walk in the door and see Charlie and mum sitting on the couch.

"What happened to your hair?" shouts Charlie as she runs over and gives me a hug. "It's not pretty anymore." She is now running her hand over the side of my head and has a screwed up look on her face.

"It's not that bad Charlie and I can always grow it again," I say.

"You look really handsome Four," mum says.

"Thanks," I say. What else am I supposed to say to that? I've never talked to anyone about the way I looked before. I didn't even used to brush my hair before. I just let it do what it wanted.

"Is dad around?"

"He is in his office, trying to get everything ready for this afternoon," mum says.

"I'll go and look for him there then."

I am about to leave when mum says, "Four you need to choose what is right for you. Not what you think everyone else wants. You have to live with your decision. Really think about what you want, dad will be proud of you no matter what you choose."

"Thanks mum," I say. And I mean it; she is always there with good advice just when you need it. "Are you cooking tonight?"

"Yes, come around about seven," she says.

"Cool, thanks, see you later. Bye Charlie," I say. I give Charlie a hug and walk out the door and towards dad's office.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

 **FOUR POV**

I still don't know what I want to chose for a job. I keep thinking about what mum said and I know what dad wants me to do. I'm just not sure what I want. I get to the door of dads' office and give a small knock on the door. Dad looks up and sees me there, he is on the phone and he waves for me to come in. I walk in the door shutting it behind me and I take a seat in front of his desk. He puts the phone down and sits down.

"How are you feeling? Still hung over?"

"I'm okay, probably better than I deserve," I say with a smile. Dad laughs. Which is a relief, I didn't know if I would get in any trouble for everything that happened last night. Just sitting in the dining hall and hearing from others what we had got up to was scary enough.

"Well you are truly a Dauntless now with what you, Zeke and Shauna got up to last night. You three are the talk of Dauntless this morning. The stories that have been coming through are really funny."

I blush at this. I have always tried to keep low key, maybe it's those first nine years in Abnegation that have made me shy away from attention. But I have it now.

"So you need to pick your job today," dad says. I nod my head I don't really know what to say. "What is really stopping you from wanting to take the leadership position? You know you can talk to me. Let me in Four, we haven't kept secrets before please don't start now."

I know what I need to tell him but I don't want him to think I'm a coward. Dad has always been here for me. I don't want to let him down now.

"Is in because of him?" he asks.

I nod. My elbows are resting on my knees and I put my head in my hands. Dad gets up from his chair and walks around and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"It's ok Four. I understand," he says. I lift my head up to see that Max is crouching next to me. "You won't have to deal with him, not until you are ready. Even then it may not be often. There is enough work to be done around here without you having to deal with the leaders from the other factions. I can't promise that you won't have to deal with him but for now I will be able to limit it."

I stand up and give dad a hug; I have a lot to think about. As I'm about to walk out of the room dad says, "Four you are going to want to confront him yourself one day. You may not think you are ready but I have watched you grow into an incredible young man and I know that there is nothing you can't achieve."

"Thanks dad, I'll see you soon," I say.

* * *

I walk down into the pit and find Zeke and Shauna kissing. "So does this mean you two are finally together?" I ask. I hope so. Shauna has had a crush on Zeke forever and Zeke being the man whore that he is had no clue. Hopefully this will fix that. It will also mean I don't have to go on any more double dates with Zeke. The memories make me want to throw up.

"Yes we are," says Zeke with a big grin on his face.

"Is the tattoo staying?" I ask.

"I talked to Tori and she said that she painted Zeke's name on. The rest of the tattoo is real just not the word Zeke. So maybe one day I will make it premanent but for now it should wash off in a couple of days," Shauna says.

"You should get it put on there now," says Zeke. This makes me laugh. "What? I think it would be really cool if she put it there."

"How long has your longest relationship been Ezekiel?" I ask.

"Hey don't use that name, only my mum gets to use that. And my track record isn't relevant here."

I raise my eyebrows at him. Seriously I think. No girl has lasted more than five days at the most.

"Okay so I haven't got a good record but that is changing, I promise," Zeke says.

"It better," says Shauna. "For now I am going to leave it blank. There is no rush."

"How's the leg?"

"I am going to be in this cast for six weeks. They said I was lucky I didn't need surgery with how high I fell. I didn't know but Amar told me I was one roll of the dice away from the win. So I was at the top when I fell. The alcohol probably helped me they reckon."

"Initiates," my fathers' voice booms across the pit. "Time to pick your jobs. Line up in the order you were ranked so we can get this over with. You will also be getting your apartment keys while you are here. You will have a week off before you start your jobs. Try not to party as hard as you did last night. We would like to see you all make it to your jobs next week." With that we all have a laugh. We all know how hard we partied last night. Well what we can remember of it.

As I was first I go over to where dad is standing to make my choice. "Leadership and initiate trainer," I say.

"Excellent choice," dad says. "Go and pick up your keys to your new apartment."

I walk over to get the keys to my new apartment and I know I have made the right decision. I know I will have to face Marcus one day and now I won't be facing him as a scared nine year old. I will be facing him as a leader of Dauntless. It sounds confident in my head but I'm still not sure that I'm confident enough to deal with it in reality yet. I hope I don't have to find out just yet.

I walk over to the dorm to grab my stuff. I don't have that much to get so I decide to wait until Shauna and Zeke come back. I will probably have to help Zeke carry his stuff to his apartment. I sit on the bed waiting. I know the apartment I got is only a couple of doors down from mum and dad. I'm glad I'm going to be close. That way it will be easy to see Charlie whenever I want. I'm sure she will make me decorate a room at my place for her. I don't mind I've missed being woken up by her in the mornings.

Zeke and Shauna walk in. "We got apartments next door to each other," Zeke says.

"What jobs did you pick?" I ask.

"Control room and Shauna is in the patrol leadership programme. So what did you pick?"

"Leadership and initiate instructor," I say.

"You are going to be the best instructor Four. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't helped me," says Shauna.

"Thanks. Do you want some help moving your stuff Zeke?" I ask.

"No we should be right I don't have much and Shauna should be able to carry it for me," Zeke says.

"Okay well I'll see you guys later. I'm going to check out my new place," I say.

* * *

I walk into my apartment and it is exactly the same layout as dads place. I sit on the couch and just chill. So glad that initiation is finally over and just enjoy the quiet now that I don't have to share a room with so many people. I must have dozed off because I can here knocking on my door.

I get up and find Charlie is standing at the door with a picture she has drawn. "I wanted you to have one of my drawings for your new place," she says as she barges past me and into the lounge room.

"Okay, where do you want me to put it?" I ask.

"On the fridge of course," she says.

We walk into the kitchen and I see that there are already magnets on the fridge. I have a feeling mum has already been here. I can't imagine fridge magnets being a part of the welcome to Dauntless here is your new apartment experience. I open the fridge and can see that mum has definitely been here. The fridge is stocked with everything I will need. Awesome no need to go shopping.

"You don't put it in the fridge silly," says Charlie.

This makes me laugh and I shut the fridge door so that she can hang her drawing on the door. She grabs the magnets and puts the drawing exactly where she thinks it should go. Then she says, "c'mon we have to go home mum has dinner nearly ready."

I take Charlies hand and we walk out of the apartment together.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

 **FOUR POV**

I have been working in leadership for eighteen months now. My role involves compound security and computer security. Compound security is easy, make sure the control room is running efficiently and that we have enough guards to patrol Dauntless. Computer security has been a different story. When I was given the role we didn't have any security. Our computers where open to the whole of the city. Anyone could access our files.

I have been working closely with Lauren who is part of our technical staff here at Dauntless. She also helps train the initiates. She has been able to design a program that tells me every user who has accessed any Dauntless records. She also designed a program that now protects all Dauntless computer files from unauthorised access. Basically unless you have a Dauntless password and you are a member of Dauntless you cannot access information on the Dauntless computers.

I have daily alerts come through to me telling me who has tried to access the files. A lot of the time it is just Erudite kids trying to hack our system for fun. Jeanine Matthews has been is a spin ever since the new protocols were put in place. She thinks she should be able to access our members fear simulations and landscapes data because she designed the serum. If there is one person I don't want looking at my files it would be her, so if I don't want her looking at my files then no other member deserves to have her look at their files.

I am sitting at my computer when the daily alert list comes through. There is only one name on the alert and when I read the name I freeze. What the hell does he want with Dauntless? I get up from my desk and walk out of my office and into dad's office.

"We need to talk," I say.

"What's up?"

"We have a problem with Marcus Eaton," I say.

"What sort of problem?" dad asks.

"He is trying to get into the Dauntless computer files. I had Lauren set up a programme to alert me whenever someone tries to get into our system. He tried to get into the system yesterday."

"Leave it with me; I don't want you anywhere near him if possible."

"But what if he knows?" I ask.

"I don't know how he could. I will need to talk to Jack over at Candor and I think I will pay Marcus a visit. See what he is really up to. I should have put a bullet in his head when I had the chance," dad says. "Don't worry about it. I will get this sorted out."

I walk out of dads office and go back to work. I know dad will do everything in his power to keep my secrets for me. I have always known that eventually I would need to face Marcus. It's just that every time I think of him I turn back into that scared little nine year old that he almost killed.

 **MAX POV**

I get off the train and make my way to the Merciless Mart and make my way up to Jack Kang's office.

"Max good to see you, how have you been?"

"Good Jack, you?"

"Well thank you for asking. What can I help you with today?" he asks.

"Marcus Eaton," I say.

"Oh, what do you need to know?"

"We have proof that he has been trying to get into the Dauntless computer system. I don't know why but I wanted to see if he had been trying to get any information about members from you," I say.

"This is about Four isn't it?" he asks. I just nod. "He came here trying to get information just after Four's Choosing Ceremony. I told him I couldn't give any information out, that we have privacy policies. I asked him why he would be concerned about a Dauntless-born initiate who had stayed in his own faction. He didn't answer he just walked out. I thought he would just give up."

"I suppose I've been waiting for this day. Is there anything he could do if he did find out the truth?"

"Max every document concerning Evelyn and Tobias Eaton are locked away. He can't get to them. The files also contain the statement from Evelyn that he inflicted the injuries on her and Tobias and we also have photos and the doctor's report of those injuries. If he tried anything I would have him thrown in jail and I would personally throw away the key. Four is an adult now; he chose which faction he wanted to be in. Marcus can't come near him. And as far as any one is concerned Evelyn and Tobias Eaton are dead."

"Thanks Jack. I just needed to know," I say. "Can I get a copy of Evelyn's statement?"

"I still don't understand why you didn't just kill him that day. It would have been a lot simpler," Jack says. "I'll just go and get that statement copied."

"I've been asking myself the same question Jack," I say.

"We may have bigger problems Max," Jack says.

"What do you mean?"

"Jeanine Matthews. She is trying to do some sort of testing on the factionless. I don't know the exact details but I have been informed that she has been trying to offer food and other basic necessities to anyone who will let her do tests on them. The problem is once they go in for testing no one sees them again. Have you heard anything?"

"No I haven't but I know someone who might be able to tell me what is going on. I will let you know what I find out. Thanks for your help Jack, I'll be in contact."

* * *

I walk out of Jack's office and I now have to put Evelyn on my to do list for the day. I know she has been leading the factionless for awhile now. She tried to get in contact with Four just after he became a Dauntless member. He didn't want anything to do with her but I convinced him to go see her. It did not end well. She wanted to recruit him; she wanted him to leave Dauntless and to live with her. She tried to tell him that the factionless were going to take over the city and that he could help her lead the way.

After that meeting we started to make a few changes at Dauntless. We set up a new housing development within the Dauntless compound for older members. We had so many abandoned buildings to choose from that we were able to set up a small set of shops and housing where it was all easily accessible for the ageing members. We were also able to get funds from the government for the project as we weren't sending our members to factionless. So we had funds and food supply that Abnegation used to help the factionless redirected to Dauntless. I knew this would piss Evelyn off and it meant that she would have less of an army to go against us. We also invited members that had left to be factionless back into the Dauntless compound. Most decided to come back and it meant more funds were taken away from feeding Evelyn's little army of trouble makers.

I have reached the Abnegation sector and now I am off to visit Marcus. I have to remember to keep my cool while talking to him. Just looking at him makes me want to punch him. Whenever we have a meeting with the other faction leaders I always send someone else, I can't stand being in the same room as him and I would never dream of sending Four.

I reach Marcus's office and I knock and walk in. I'm not waiting for welcomes today. I'm not in the mood.

"Max so good to see you," Marcus says.

"No need to be pleasant Marcus. This isn't a social call," I say. "We have reports that you have been trying to access Dauntless computer files. Why is this?"

"I think you must be mistaken Max. I don't have any reason to access Dauntless files," he says. I can see he is lying and I'm not even Candor. It is written all over his face.

"I think you are mistaken Marcus. We have a program that tells us exactly who is trying to look at our system. Now is there another Marcus Eaton we don't know about that could be accessing our files?"

He just stares blankly at me. "Would you like something to drink Max?"

Just what I need, he is trying to change the subject. "No thank you Marcus," I say. "Now this is just a friendly warning, we take it very seriously at Dauntless when unauthorised persons try to access our files. We will not tolerate such behaviour even if you are a leader of another faction. So make sure you keep away from Dauntless and our computer system."

"Sounds like you are trying to hide something Max," Marcus says. I know he is a master manipulator, Evelyn told me stories of his manipulation not only of her but the people of Abnegation. I really regret not killing him now.

"Marcus there have been reports of factionless going missing. Some are saying that Erudite are behind it. Have you heard anything?" I need to change the subject and seeing that Abnegation have the most to do with the factionless it won't hurt asking.

"No haven't heard anything Max. I will let you know if I hear anything," he says. He definitely knows something. He was too quick to answer.

"Well we are going to be starting up some patrols in the area. You may want to tell the factionless that we are only doing it for their safety. We don't intend to harass them in anyway."

"I'll let the people who are working with the factionless know so that they can spread the word," he says.

"Great, thank you for your time Marcus," I say. I walk out the door as quick as I can. Now I have to go and deal with Evelyn. I haven't seen her since she left. I was hoping I would never have to deal with her again.

p/b

I get to the factionless part of town that I know where Evelyn has been living. I made Four tell me where she was. I make my way into the warehouse where she is staying. I get a lot of stares but no one is trying to stop me.

"Max, I never thought I would see you in this part of town," she says.

"Evelyn, how are you?"

"I'm well. What are you doing here?" she asks.

"I've gotten a report that you're having some trouble with Erudite? I thought it was best I come down and find out what is happening first hand," I say. I can't believe that her first question wasn't about how her kids are. But then she left them without looking back so I shouldn't really be surprised.

"Why would you care?"

"This isn't about us Evelyn. This is about people being taken and not returning again. If that is the case then I think this is a concern for everyone. If Jeanine is taking factionless how long do you think it will be until she starts trying to take faction members?"

"There have been people disappearing but I don't have any details that I can give."

"Well it might be a good idea to start getting some details. I need to know what is going on, I don't trust Jeanine and her band of scientist buddies. So find out what you can."

"Why should I help you? You have been taking resources from us and giving them to Dauntless. So explain to be what the benefit of helping you will get me?"

"It's always about you isn't it Evelyn. This isn't about you; this is about people who may be getting used as lab rats for that woman. The more factionless that are taken, the more resources will be taken from helping the factionless. If your numbers start dropping from this it will mean that Abnegation will give you even less. There are going to be extra Dauntless patrols in the factionless area, so let your friends know. We aren't here to hurt them; we are trying to protect them."

"I will try and find out any information that I can. I will be in contact."

"We have another problem," I say. "Marcus has been trying to get into the Dauntless computer system. I think he may have found out about Four."

"That's impossible. You fixed that. He thinks we are dead," she says.

"We had an incident at Fours' Choosing Ceremony," I say.

"What type of incident?" she asks. As if she cares, she will only be thinking of herself. I might not like Evelyn but I can understand the fear this may bring her.

"When Four chose Marcus saw him and fainted," I say. "When he was questioned later he said he couldn't remember anything. He claimed it had been extremely hot in the room and that was what made him faint. I'm starting to think that he was lying."

"Well lying is something that Marcus is very good at. I learnt that the hard way. What are you going to do about it?" she asks.

"I've talked to Marcus, I confronted him. Of course he gave nothing away but I will have him watched, see if I can find out what he is up too."

Evelyn nods. She isn't going to give away much either. I know I can't trust her. I will just have to wait and see if she gives me the information I want on Jeanine Matthews. I doubt she will she is too selfish. She will only help if she thinks there is something in it for her.

"It's was good seeing you Evelyn," I say. As I start to walk out I turn and say, "by the way both your children are doing well." I walk out of the warehouse, I don't wait for a response and I am not going to give her any more information than I have about her kids. Not that I think of her as their mother now. But I really just wanted to try and hurt her for what she did to those kids.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

 **MARCUS POV**

I walk into Erudite and I am sure I am being followed. I am positive that Max has had someone following me ever since he came to visit. I am going to have to be careful with what I do from now on. Once I have had this meeting with Jeanine I am going to have to find a new way to contact her.

"Marcus how are you?" Jeanine asks.

"I'm well Jeanine, how are you?" I ask back. I still find it hard; even after all these years, to deflect the questioning about myself. If I hadn't been so politically motivated I would never have chosen Abnegation. I like the world to revolve around me. I like to tell people about me. But being Abnegation I'm not supposed to want those things.

"Fine Marcus, what can I help you with today?" she says.

"I had a visit from Max two days ago. I am sure he is having me followed. He knows that I have been trying to get into the Dauntless files. You told me that they didn't have a secure security system on their computers. You told me I would be able to get any information I wanted. What am I supposed to do now? I need answers Jeanine."

"I offered you my help Marcus and you turned it down. The offer still stands. Let me test on your members and I will get you the information you want."

"Max knows you are testing on the factionless. He asked me if I knew anything. What do you think is going to happen if Abnegation members turn up missing? How will I explain that? And how are you going to get me the information I want? They will know if you are in their system, they will find out."

"I have my ways to find out the information Marcus. No one is going to care that a few factionless have gone missing. I can guarantee you that I will give you your members back after I have finished with them. Tell them it is selfless to want to help science; they fall for that line every time you have used it in the past when you wanted to get your own way. Well this is exactly the same; it is a means to an end."

"You get me the information and then and only then will I give you the people you want," I say. I need this information; I am desperate to know if Four is Tobias. I will not stop looking until I get the truth. I know I am right about this. I know I am. "I have been trying to get this information for over a year, you better deliver it to me. There will be repercussions if you don't," I threaten her with.

"Marcus I think our time is up for today. I don't think threatening me is the way to go about this. It is your choice but I think you need to work out why you really want this information. The truth will not set you free, as they say; I think it is more likely to put a noose around your neck. But we shall see."

I leave Jeanine's office and make my way back to Abnegation. I know I have just made a deal with the devil. I am just going to have to find a way to outsmart her.

 **MAX POV**

Seeing Evelyn again was harder than I thought it would be. Not that I look at her the way I once did. But for the fact that she doesn't care a stitch about her children. They are both so amazing in my eyes. Yes Four was always getting himself into some sort of trouble in Dauntless as a kid, but he has stepped up since being in leadership. He is respected in Dauntless and has made me extremely proud.

Charlie she is a lot less trouble than Four ever was but we haven't hit her teenage years yet. I am sure she will cause me just as much trouble as her brother did. Although I do have to laugh at the trouble Four has got himself into at times. He and Zeke have kept the whole of Dauntless on their toes for years and even now they still have a lot of fun. I think that's part of the reason he is respected here, he knows how to party and he knows when to work hard. Plus he is probably the best fighter we have.

I have been extremely lucky with both Four and Charlie. I just hope that Jed is as easy as they were. Jed is our youngest and he turned one last week. He has started walking and loves the freedom it gives him. I can see him wandering the halls of Dauntless in the very near future. He will probably be like Four and find his own little hiding places. I can imagine him going missing for hours and his mother tearing her hair out in worry. The thought makes me laugh.

I am sitting in the board room waiting for the other leaders to arrive. I have had to call an emergency meeting so that we can talk about our computer system and moving the guards from the fence back into the factionless section.

"Thank you for all being here for this meeting. I know we don't often have to do this but I have come across some information that we need to deal with as a group. Firstly we have had unauthorised people from other factions trying to get into our computer systems," I say.

"Why would anyone want our information?" Sam asks. She is the only female leader we have at the moment.

"I don't think it matters why they are trying to get in. I think we should be finding ways to keep them out," I say.

"Do you think that is necessary Max? What kind of threat could they be anyway?" Bob asks.

"I think that we should try to put a stop to this," Shane says. "Four you're in charge of our computer systems. What do we need to do?"

"I have been working with Lauren from technical services and that is how we found out that someone was trying to enter our system. Although they didn't get through I am sure there are smarter people who could probably get into any system we created. I think we should take all personal files and initiate testing off our main computer system. Put it on a standalone system that can only be accessed by leaders, their support staff and trainers. It will mean additional computers and it will take a few weeks to set up but it will provide us extra security," Four says.

"Is this really necessary?" Tony asks.

"We are having trouble in the factionless area with Erudite, which I'll explain more about soon. We have had a faction leader from another faction trying to break into our computer system. I think it would be better to be safe than sorry at this stage," I say.

"Fine just get it done then," says Tony.

"Okay, well Four take the necessary staff you and Lauren will need and get it done as quickly as you can. You don't have long until the next batch of initiates are here, so you will need to sort this out quickly. It will also be a good test run for how the system works when the initiates do get here. Although I'm sure Jeanine is going to chuck up a stink when she can't access the files whenever she wants," I say.

"Now we need to look at what is happening in the factionless sectors. I have found out recently that Erudite are taking people from factionless with offers of extra food and clothing. The problem is they aren't coming back. I want to take half the guards off the fence and put them in the factionless areas," I say. "We haven't had any problems around the fence and Amity has their own guards. So I think we could put our guards to better use inside the city."

"I think that's a good idea Max. Can you follow through with the details and have the manager of patrols work out a new schedule. Make sure they keep Eric out at the fence though. He is enough trouble when he is in the compound if he was to work with the factionless we would have him in the compound more often and nobody wants that. Plus he would probably start trouble rather than break it up," Shane says.

I'm glad he mentioned Eric. Shane hates the guy probably more than Four does. Jeanine Matthews wanted Shane to put him into leadership. But after the fight with Four and the bet was made about the fight he had to go to the fence for guard duty. Every few months Jeanine is on Shane's back trying to convince him that he should put him into leadership. I have no idea why but having her try and manipulate Dauntless like that is always worrying.

"Now if there is nothing else," Shane says. "I have an announcement. I have decided that I am going to be stepping down as Leader of Dauntless. I have asked Max to take over my role. I will stay on until initiation is over. Hopefully we will find someone who can take my place from the new batch of recruits. After that I will stay on in an advisory role until the new leader is competent to help you all lead this faction."

"Well I think that deserves a drink," I say. "Let's have an early mark and go down to Dauntless Nights for a cold one. I'm sure they won't refuse their leaders coming in early for a drink." With that we all make out way down to Dauntless Nights to celebrate Shane's impending retirement.

* * *

 _Thank you everyone for your awesome reviews, and for following my story._

 _Only one more sleep until Beatrice chooses! (Finally, you are all saying!)_

 _But does she choose Dauntless?_


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20**

 **BEATRICE POV**

I am lying on my bed for what will be the last time. Tomorrow is my Choosing Ceremony. I know I am leaving; there is no way I can stay here. I am not selfless enough for Abnegation. I have proven that over and over again. I can't be like Caleb, I don't even think to ask if someone would like some help. I usually only realise after I have been told to help.

My aptitude test results were Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless. Well Abnegation is definitely out. If I chose Erudite my father would probably have a heart attack or send a bolt of lightning my way next time there is a storm. So that leaves Dauntless. I have always loved watching the Dauntless, seeing how free they are. I love watching them jump on and off the trains; maybe tomorrow that is what I will be doing. Maybe if I choose Dauntless I won't feel the guilt I feel over Tobias. Not having to see his father everyday or his house or the places we used to play, maybe then I can start to not feel so guilty about what I said.

Mum told me I needed to forgive myself, that I was being selfish. That I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself. She seems to think that Tobias would never have wanted me to feel this way. I know she is right and I know that Tobias would never have wanted me to be living like this. But I can't help it, I am selfish, I know I am. Plus it just hurts that I don't have my friend anymore.

We were never supposed to enjoy ourselves and with Tobias I did. I even sometimes wonder if that is why he was taken away. Because we were both selfish, so it is somehow punishment for not being the true Abnegation children we were supposed to be. We were always in trouble, but it was worth it just to hear him laugh. He had the best laugh and the cutest smile. If only I could see that smile one more time.

* * *

Marcus has just called my name. I have to choose but all thoughts of Dauntless have just been wiped from my thoughts. All I can think of is Caleb. How could he betray our parents like that? He was supposed to be the good son, the selfless one and now he has just joined Erudite. This makes my decision all that harder. Do I finally do the most selfless act I could possibly think of or do I leave, like I have intended to do for the last nine years.

I walk up to Marcus who hands me a knife. I look at the bowls and then I cut the palm of my hand. I hold my hand to my chest and look at the two bowls that are next to each other. Abnegation or Dauntless? I thrust my arm out and my blood has dropped onto the carpet between the two bowls. I still don't know what I am going to choose when Marcus makes a sound; I think that he may be upset that I have dropped blood on the carpet. I look up at Marcus and all that I see staring back at me are the same colour blue eyes that Tobias had. My decision is made; I hear my blood sizzle onto the coals.

I am selfish. I want to be brave.

* * *

I am standing on the roof of the Dauntless compound with Christina. We have just met on our train ride from the Choosing Ceremony. I have finally had the chance to jump on and jump off a moving train. It is already making me feel Dauntless. Although I am going to need a little more practise at both, I have never been the most agile person and it has shown today.

I wonder what other crazy stunts they may have in store for us today when starts shouting at us. "Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction! Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."

"You want us to jump of a ledge?" asks an Erudite girl with her mouth hanging open.

What faction did she think she was joining? We have just jumped on and off a train I don't understand how this could shock anyone.

"Yes," Max says. He looks amused.

"Is there water at the bottom or something?"

"Who knows?" He raises his eyebrows.

I want to be brave; this is going to help me on my quest to become the brave Dauntless that I am hoping to be. I walk toward the ledge and hear snickers behind me.

Max steps aside, leaving my way clear. I walk up to the edge and look down. Wind whips through my clothes, making the fabric snap. The building I'm on forms one side of a square with three other buildings. In the centre of the square is a huge hole in the concrete. I can't see what's at the bottom of it.

This is a scare tactic. I will land safely at the bottom. That knowledge is the only thing that helps me step onto the ledge. My teeth chatter. I can't back down now. Not with all the people betting I'll fail behind me. My hands fumble along the collar of my shirt and find the button that secures it shut. After a few tries, I unto the hooks from collar to hem, and pull it off my shoulders.

I look at the hole again. Goose bumps rise on my pale arms, and my stomach lurches. If I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it at all. I swallow hard.

The air howls in my ears as the ground surges toward me, growing and expanding, or I surge toward the ground, my heart pounding so fast it hurts, every muscle in my body tensing as the falling sensation drags at my stomach. The hole surrounds me and I drop into darkness.


	21. Chapter 21

_Okay so I can't leave you hanging like this. So here is a bonus! I hope you enjoy._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 21**

 **FOUR POV**

Choosing Day. The day where I get to put my Four the scary instructor face on and scare the shit out of the transfer initiates. It's a lot of fun. Of course I'm not really like that with my friends but with the initiates I enjoy scaring them. Although last year I think I may have gone a bit far, I scared an Amity transfer and he actually wet his pants. Might need to tone it down just a little this year.

But I also want the initiates to take joining our faction seriously, most of them will end up in dangerous jobs and they need to know what they are doing. Otherwise they should have picked another faction. It sounds harsh but it could save their lives.

They have given Lauren the job of training the Dauntless-borns, I think dad is frightened that if I train them that we would spend too much time having fun. Especially with Uriah, Marlene and Lynn choosing this year. We all know they will stay in Dauntless, although Zeke has been freaking out all week that Uriah would leave, he nearly drove me nuts. Plus the Dauntless-born all know most of the first stage of training anyway. There is usually only one or two who aren't competent. So I get the job of whipping the newbie's up to Dauntless standards as quickly as possible.

I arrive at the net to find Lauren is already standing there. "Ready for this year's new arrivals Four?" she asks.

"As ready as I can be Lauren," I say.

"Try not to scare them too much this year," she says with a smile on her face.

This makes me laugh. "I am always going to be remembered as the instructor who made an initiate wet himself aren't I?"

Lauren is laughing too now, "Yes you are Four, yes you are," she says. "Maybe you can come over and scare some of the Dauntless-born for me."

"As if Uriah, Marlene and Lynn would take me seriously."

"They haven't seen you in scary mode, it might work on them," she says. "They should be jumping soon. Bet you it's one of my Dauntless-borns."

"It's always a Dauntless-born. No bet."

I would be shocked if it wasn't a Dauntless-born. I expect it to be a Dauntless-born. I would think it would be between Lynn and Uriah, they both know what's at the bottom. They snuck in to see Shauna and Zeke when they landed when we had to jump. We only use this entrance once a year, on Choosing Day.

But it's not a black streak like I was expecting, it's gray. For a second I am amazed, flashes of memories that are from another life time are rushing through my mind. Marcus, Evelyn and Beatrice. Beatrice the only happy memory I have from a place that clouds my nights with horrific nightmares. Then I put my hand out, into the net, so she can reach it.

She wraps her fingers around mine, and I pull her across. As she tumbles over the side, I grab her arms to steady her. She's small, and thin—fragile-looking, like the impact with the net should have shattered her. Her eyes are wide and bright blue. She reminds me of Beatrice and for the smallest of moments I am hoping it is her.

"Thank you," she says. She may look fragile, but her voice is steady. Just like I would imagine Beatrice would be at this age. My thoughts are interrupted by Lauren.

"Can't believe it," Lauren says. "A Stiff, the first to jump? Unheard of."

"There's a reason why she left them, Lauren," I say.

"What's your name?" I ask.

"Um . . ." She hesitates and it makes me wonder what the story is behind this beautiful girl with such bright blue eyes.

"Think about it," I say, smiling a little. "You don't get to pick again."

"Tris," she says. Which makes my heart sink. I was really hoping that she was Beatrice. But I suppose it is just a childhood fantasy that I would be able to be reunited with Beatrice. As much as I never thought either one of us was cut out for Abnegation, I do know how much she loved her family. I remember how warm and loving her mother had been to me. So even though I know Beatrice would have loved Dauntless I have to remind myself that even though there are still a lot of initiates to jump it is very unlikely that any of them would be Beatrice.

"Tris," Lauren says. "Make the announcement, Four."

"First jumper—Tris!"

Everyone cheers and as the sound fills the cavern, another initiate plummets into the net with a blood-curdling scream. A girl dressed in Candor black and white. This time, Lauren is the one to reach across the net to help her. I touch a hand to Tris's back to guide her toward the stairs, in case she's not as steady as she seems. Before she takes the first step, I say, "Welcome to Dauntless.

* * *

I have nine initiates this year. Once all the initiates have jumped I am disappointed that Beatrice isn't here. I had always hoped she would have found her way back to me. Even though I don't know how I would have ever been able to explain to her what had happened and the reason that she had had to think I was dead. Another part of me, and it is only a really small part, is relieved she isn't here. I doubt she would ever be able to forgive me for deceiving her like I had. But mostly I wish she was here. I have always missed her.

Lauren and I walk the initiates down the dark hallway toward the Pit doors.

"This is where we divide," Lauren says, when she reaches the doors. "Dauntless-borns are with me. I assume you don't need a tour of the place."

Once they are gone I say, "Most of the time I work in leadership, but for the next few weeks, I'm your instructor. My name is Four."

One of the Candor girls speaks up. "Four? Like the number?"

"Yes," I say, through gritted teeth. "Is there a problem?" Same question as last year. The Candor are predictable.

"No," the girl says.

"Good. We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It—"

The Candor girl interrupts again. "The Pit? Clever name."

Now I'm just irritated. The Candor can't just keep their mouths shut. Time to put on a show. I move toward her and when I am inches from her I lean in close to her face and stare at her for a few seconds, until I see her smile falter.

"What's your name?" I ask, keeping my voice quiet.

"Christina," she says.

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction," I say. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

She nods. God I hope she got it. I don't think I could stand any more crap from transfers today. I show them around without any more interruptions and then tell them they can grab some food in the dining hall.

* * *

The dining hall is full today. Always is on Choosing Day. I find a table and sit down. My usual table is already full although I can't see any of my friends there. I see Zeke waving at me from another table so I go and sit with him.

"Man, this place is crazy today. There are a heap of cool parties we can go to tonight," Zeke says.

"I have an early start with the initiates tomorrow, so no parties for me tonight," I say.

"When has that stopped you Four?"

"They are learning to fire guns tomorrow morning, I don't need a hangover and gunfire all at the same time," I say.

"Good point," says Zeke.

Then I see Tris sit next to me. She has Christina sitting on her other side. "And who are these lovely ladies Four?" Zeke asks.

If only Shauna was here, he wouldn't be asking who they were in this flirty voice if she was around. She would kick his butt. "This is Tris and Christina," I say.

Before Zeke can give them his big warm Dauntless welcome I hear Christina. "You've never had a hamburger before?" she says.

"No," Tris says. "Is that what it's called?"

"Stiffs eat plain food," I say. Remembering the nights I had to cook for Marcus when I could hardly reach the hot plate. The food was bland and the whippings for not cooking it to his liking were frequent.

"Why?" Christina asks.

"Extravagance is considered self-indulgent and unnecessary," she says.

"No wonder you left," says Zeke.

"Yeah." Tris rolls her eyes. "It was just because of the food."

I am trying not to smile. It isn't often you will find a sarcastic Abnegation.

"So why did you leave?" Zeke asks.

"Really?" Tris asks. Sounding surprised that anyone would want to know why.

Zeke and Christina both nod. I am thinking yes, I would like to know but I don't want her to know that.

"Well," Tris starts. "When I was seven I had a best friend and I said something really, really horrible to him. Anyway before I could apologise he was murdered. And I knew when that happened that I was too selfish to belong in Abnegation. Because someone truly selfless would never have said those words to him in the first place."

"What did you say?" Christina asks.

"I told him I hated him," she says.

"Hey! Watch it man," yells Zeke. I have spat my mouth full of water all over him. I can't believe this. Not only is this Beatrice but it is my fault she is here. I feel like I'm about to throw my meal up all over everyone.

"Sorry," I say. "Can you do me a favour? Can you show the initiates to the dormitory and tell them they need to be in the training room at 8am?" I hope he can. I have jumped up from the table and rushed out of the dining hall as quickly as my feet will carry me.

 **ZEKE POV**

I don't know what has gotten into Four but I now need a shower from him giving me a shower. I gather the initiates up and as we are walking out of the dining hall I hear Christina.

"Is that a game of Snakes and Ladders on the rock climbing wall?" She asks.

This makes me laugh, I walk over to her and I say, "Yeah it sure is. Four and I made that when we were eleven. We got in so much trouble for it, but we have had a lot of fun with it."

"I didn't think Four would know how to have fun," she says.

"Well he does. He's a good guy. My brother Uriah woke up the day after Four and I finished our initiation upside down hanging from the wall, it was hilarious. They told us we decided to play a game that night. But neither of us remembers we partied so hard. We just keep hearing the stories from other people at how cool we were that night."

"Oh, so Fours' a bad boy, is that it?" Christina asks.

"Well what Dauntless guy could you imagine ever being good?" I say, with a big grin on my face.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

 **SASHA POV**

I walk into our apartment with Jed on my hip and Charlie is walking next to me and I see Four sitting on the couch with his elbows resting on his thighs and his head in his hands. He looks up and he appears to have been crying.

"Four!" Charlie squeals and runs over and gives her brother a hug. "What's wrong you look sad?"

"I'm okay Charlie, I just need to talk to mum," he says.

"Charlie take Jed and go down and see daddy at work. Tell him you have to stay there until I come and get you," I say.

Charlie takes Jed's hand and I let them out of the apartment. I walk over and sit next to Four.

"What's up?" I say. I have no idea what is going on. I've only ever seen Four this upset after one of his nightmares and I know he hasn't been sleeping because I just saw him in the dining hall with the new initiates.

"It's all my fault. She is here and it's my fault. She loves her family. She wouldn't have left. I caused this. I don't know how to fix it. She will find out. She is going to hate me even more. It's all my fault," he says. He isn't making any sense. He is just rambling. There are tears in his eyes. His breathing is heavy. I am wondering why he came to me and not his dad. I may even need to get him to Simon.

I put my arms around his shoulders and give him a hug waiting until he has calmed down a little. When he finally seems calmer I pull away and say, "What do you think is your fault Four?"

"Beatrice," he says.

I've only seen him with the initiates today and we don't have a Beatrice. I always go through the files of both transfers and Dauntless-born after the Choosing Ceremony. I do this for Max he likes to know who each initiate is, their background, parents, interest's things like that. It saves him time, I know the information he wants and I make up a list of information for each one so that he doesn't have to go through the files himself.

"Who is Beatrice?" I ask.

"It was Tobias' best friend in Abnegation." I turn to see Max in the doorway. I didn't even hear him come in.

"I just wanted to check everything is okay. Charlie said Four was here and upset," Max says.

"Where are the kids?"

"Still in my office, I have Sam watching them," says Max.

Four has his head in his hands again and he is just shaking his head. "Want to tell us why we are talking about Beatrice Four," says Max.

He looks up and he says, "She is here. She transferred. She changed her name to Tris."

I am rubbing my hand up and down his back, I can see he needs comfort but I'm not entirely sure why. I know the story of how he ended up here in Dauntless. I know what bastard parents he was given but I have never heard about Beatrice. "I think someone better fill me in on Beatrice or Tris if that is the name she is using now," I say.

"When I lived with Marcus, Beatrice was my best friend. We were always together. When I moved here I had to cut all ties with Abnegation and so she thought I was dead. Today I was hoping I would see her again. Neither of us ever fitted into Abnegation even when we were little. We were always in trouble. It was one of the many reasons Marcus used to hit me. But I haven't seen her for nine years and after everyone jumped I thought she must not have come. Although Tris reminded me of Beatrice in so many ways, especially her eyes but when there wasn't a Beatrice I just had to resign myself that she hadn't transferred."

"So I gave the usual tour of Dauntless, and then told them to go and eat. I was sitting with Zeke and Tris and Christina came and sat with us. We were talking about food and somehow Zeke asked her why she transferred," he says. He lets out a groan as he puts his face back in his hands and starts shaking his head again. He sits like this for a minute and then he raises his head again and starts to speak.

"She told us how she had left Abnegation because she wasn't selfless enough to be there. That when she was seven she had a best friend and she had said something horrible to him and before she could say sorry he had died."

Four has put his head down again and so I look at Max. "I think mum is the best one to talk about this too. I need to go and rescue Sam from Charlie and Jed; they have probably turned my office upside down by now. Four I will come by later and check on you," Max says. "Who did you leave the transfers with?"

"Zeke," says Four.

"Well when you feel up to it you better check on them, god knows what Zeke will have done with them. We will probably find them zip lining or playing Snakes and Ladders. And they are our the best case scenarios," Max says with a chuckle.

"Ok dad. Thanks."

I walk to the door with Max and he whispers, "I'm sorry to leave you but I think you are the best to handle this. I really need to get back to Sam. You should know that when that all happened back in Abnegation Tris didn't take it very well. It was really bad."

"I'll look after him. I think half the problem isn't why she is here it is just the fact she is here. He's never shown any interest in girls and I think that is all about to change. I think we are in for a rollercoaster with these two. And there are going to be more lows than highs for a while," I say.

With a kiss and a wave to Max I shut the door and go back and sit with Four. I'm not sure exactly what I am going to say. I don't really know even where to start. But I suppose that is part of parenting isn't it, I just have to do my best and hope it helps. Four turns and looks at me. "What should I do?" he asks.

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. I feel like I should tell her the truth. But I don't want her to hate me even more than she already does."

"Why do you think she hates you?"

"Those last five words she said to me were 'I hate you Tobias Eaton'."

"She was seven. What did you do that made her say them in the first place?"

"I don't remember. We were always fighting. We both had short fuses and we spent every moment we could together. It used to drive our parents crazy. I remember her yelling at me and then she slammed the door in my face. Then her mum came out and I talked to her and then that was it. I didn't get a chance to see her again because Marcus kept me in the house. He was angry with Evelyn and so he wouldn't let me out, so I couldn't see her."

"Well you said that neither of you were ever cut out for Abnegation. Do you think if you had stayed would you have chosen Abnegation?"

"I think if I had stayed I would have ended up dead. So I hadn't ever thought about it. But I would have had to escape if I had lived. I couldn't have stayed."

"So really if you think about it, if you had stayed in Abnegation and made up with Beatrice. She probably would have found out about Marcus. Even if she didn't you two were close she would have known you would transfer. And you said she wasn't very suited to Abnegation either. I think that you both would have transferred out. I also think you would be having this conversation with maybe not me but with someone even if you had both come from Abnegation anyway. Because you would be trying to hide your relationship with her until after initiation."

Four looks at me now, like really looks at me. Like it has just dawned on him, it doesn't matter what brought them here they were going to get here eventually anyway.

"You can't help who you fall in love with. And there really is no rule on how old you are when you fall in love with that person or what is going to happen when you do."

"But what do I do? Dauntless initiation isn't easy. Do I tell her who I am? Do I walk away from training the initiates? Do I give the job to someone else?"

"Four you are a great instructor. You aren't going to be able to let anyone else train her; you would be worried about her the whole time. For now go and do the best job that you can. The rest will work it's self out when it is supposed to. Just don't try to force anything; I don't think this is going to be easy for either of you. But if it is meant to be it will be."

Four sits there nodding his head and then he gives me a hug and whispers in my ear, "Thanks, you're the best."

I hope I am. I have no idea how this will work out but I think we need to be ready for the tornado we will need to call Tris. Because I think when these to collide we are going to see a path of destruction left in their wake.

"Go and check on your initiates. Your dad is right, you don't know what trouble Zeke may have caused them," I say this with a laugh.

* * *

I decide to go and rescue Max from Charlie and Jed. I walk into his office and he is on the floor with Jed and Charlie playing. His office looks to have survived the visit.

"How did it go?"

"Thank you for leaving me with that," I say. I'm not angry with him.

"I'm sorry, I just thought that you would be better at the girl stuff than I ever would be," says Max.

"It's okay. I'm not upset with you. I just don't know how this is all going to work out for him. I feel like he has been through enough pain and I don't want him to have to experience any more, plus we still don't know about Marcus. I know he can't take him from us. But he could cause problems for him and I just get worried."

"I know, I feel the same way," says Max.

"Mum can we go home now?" Charlie asks.

"Yes we can. Let's leave daddy to his work and we can go and have a play before your bath," I say. I give Max a quick kiss and take the kids home.


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

 **FOUR POV**

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight," I say to the nine initiates standing in front of me. I pass the guns out as I am speaking. Trying not to let my emotions over Tris get the better of me. I need to focus on getting through training then I can worry about everything else.

"Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that."

"Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult to improve your rank."

"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear. Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."

"But what . . ." Peter yawns through his words. "What does firing a gun have to do with . . . bravery?"

Seriously this kid is going to get on my nerves. I flip the gun that is in my hand and I press it to Peter's forehead, and I clip the bullet into place. Peter freezes. Better than the Amity kid last year.

"Wake up," I snap. "You are holding a loaded gun you idiot. Act like it."

I lower the gun and I see Peter's eyes harden. I don't like the look, he is dangerous and he is going to have to be watched closely. He is the type of person we don't want here in Dauntless.

"And to answer your question . . . you are less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself."

"Your ranking serves two purposes. The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available. The second purpose is that only the top ten initiates will be made members. Anyone out of the top ten will be given the opportunity to work in the Dauntless retirement village. If this is the case and you want to stay in Dauntless then you will have to go through a special training programme we have devised."

"What do we do if we don't want to work in the retirement village?" asks Peter.

"You become factionless," I say. Sam and Bob wanted anyone out of the top ten to instantly become factionless. But we need staff for the retirement home. So Lauren and I devised a program that gives them the opportunity to become members and it gives us the staff we need. I don't think Peter would appreciate cleaning toilets but he will still probably find it better than living factionless.

"Work hard, it will be a lot harder to make it in the second time round. You can concede fights but it will lower your scores dramatically. Fights will be chosen by putting everyone's name into a hat. This isn't going to be easy but trust me it is worth it"

 **TRIS POV**

I can't seem to take my eyes of Four. I know he is extremely good looking and so that makes him easy to look at but it is something else. I don't know why but I am drawn to him. He feels familiar but I don't know why. I haven't met him before yesterday, it's not like any one from Dauntless would be seen near someone from Abnegation.

Zeke told Christina and me that he was Dauntless-born, some of the pranks they had got up to seem almost unbelievable to me. If I hadn't seen the Snakes and Ladders board I would never have imagined such a game. I just can't shake this feeling. As I'm watching him I feel there is so much more to him than Zeke let on. I think there is more to him than even Zeke knows.

I am awoken from my thoughts with the sound of gun fire. I didn't realise it would be this loud. I need to focus on training; I need a top ten ranking.

 **ZEKE POV**

Four slams his tray down at our table in the dining hall. "Bro, what's your problem?" I ask. He has been acting weird ever since yesterday.

"Transfers already getting to you Four?" asks Shauna.

"Tris, Christina," I call to Tris and Christina who have just entered the dining hall. I should introduce them to Uriah, Marlene and Lynn who are also sitting at our table.

"What are we babysitting initiates at meal times now too?" Four says. Man he is foul today. He can be standoff-ish at times and isn't always the best around others but this has gone to a whole new level.

"What? They are nice. I thought it would be nice to introduce them to some Dauntless-borns," I say. Four just glares at me. Wait this is more than that. The flash that was in his eyes just then, is he jealous?

"Hey," says Tris.

"Sit, let me introduce you. Tris, Christina this is my brother Uriah, Marlene and Lynn they are also going through initiation this year. Guys this is Tris and Christina," I say.

"Do you mind if some others join us?" asks Christina.

"The more the merrier," I say.

Christina calls two guys over to the table. Their names are Will and Al. Now I know Four is jealous. The way he is looking at Al only confirms it. There is a spare spot next to me so I decide to give Four a break from his bad mood.

"Tris come sit here, there's a spare seat next to me," I say. Shauna gives me a look that says you better have a good explanation why you are asking a pretty girl sit next to you. So I try to nod my head towards Four. A smile comes across her face. Thank goodness she realised what I was doing.

"So how are you finding Dauntless Tris?" Shauna asks.

"It's good. I like it here, it is so different from where I am from but I never did fit in there anyway," says Tris.

I can see Four trying to act like he doesn't care but he is hanging off every word she says. It's funny really. I've never seen him like this. As we are all chatting and laughing he is actually engaging in conversation with her and the others at the table. He never does that. He usually makes a complete fool of himself around women. I made him go on this date with me once. He didn't even last five minutes before she had hit him with her hand bag and walked off. Not long after that Shauna and I had got together so I didn't hassle him about any more dates. He has always had girls throwing themselves at him, even when we were just kids. He just never took any notice. But now it seems he has. I will have to get Shauna onto this, help him out a bit. I am going to have to find a way so that the transfers can be a part of our annual Dauntless-born initiates dare game this year.

"Zekey," yells Charlie as she comes and sits on Fours' lap.

"Charlie." I give her a high five over the table.

"What are you doing here?" Four asks.

"Where's my hug?" I ask Charlie holding my arms open wide.

Charlie jumps off Four and comes and gives me a hug. I sit her between me and Tris.

"Hi I'm Charlie," she says to Tris.

"Hi I'm Tris."

"You're really pretty Tris. Don't you think she is pretty Four?"

Four has turned bright red and I can't help but laugh. Only Charlie could get away with something like this with Four.

"Come on, I think it's time to take you back to mum and dad," Four says. Can't blame him really, Charlie has embarrassed him enough for one day. He picks her up and they start to walk away from the table.

"Bye," Charlie says with a wave.

"She is really pretty Four," I hear Charlie telling Four as they walk away. I wish I could hear the rest of their conversation but they are too far away.

"Who was that?" Tris asks.

"That is Fours' little sister Charlie," I say.

Tris just nods. She is still blushing from the comments Charlie made.


	24. Chapter 24

_Hi everyone here is a bonus chapter. Only because it only slightly deviates from the book and how I wrote the scene in Stop, rewind! but it also needs to be in the story so here is the ferris wheel scene. I've already written up to chapter 32 so there is a lot more fun and emotions to come in the coming days. Thank you for all your kind reviews, it just helps motivate me to post chapters faster and to keep on writing._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 24**

 **TRIS POV**

Fights are not going as well as I would like. They pick who you are fighting by drawing your name out of a hat. Lucky for me I didn't have to fight in the first round. The second round I got Peter. I thought he was going to kill me but I refused to concede, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Today I fought Myra, thankfully I won. But it didn't feel like victory she is even worse than I am at fighting.

All of a sudden we are all getting told to get up and be at the train tracks in five minutes. They really do enjoy torturing their initiates here in Dauntless.

* * *

I jump off the train with everyone, ready to play capture the flag. We start walking Marlene touches Fours' shoulder and asks, "When your team won, where did you put the flag?"

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene," he says coolly.

"Come on, Four," she whines. She gives him a flirtatious smile. He brushes her hand off his arm, and for some reason, I find myself grinning.

"Navy Pier," says Uriah.

"Let's go there, then," suggests Will.

No one objects, so we walk east, towards the marsh that was once a lake.

We reach the carousel. Some of the horses are scratched and weathered, their tails broken off or their saddles chipped. Four takes the flag out of his pocket.

"In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location," he says. "I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect."

He is right about that. What is a prepared body if you have a scattered mind?

Will takes the flag from Four.

"Some people should stay here and guard and some people should go out and scout the other team's location," Will says.

"Yeah? You think?" Marlene plucks the flag from Will's fingers. "Who put you in charge, transfer?"

"No one," says Will. "But someone's got to do it."

"Maybe we should develop a more defensive strategy. Wait for them to come to us, then take them out," suggests Christina.

"That's the sissy way out," Uriah says. "I vote we go all out. Hide the flag well enough that they can't find it."

Everyone bursts into the conversation at once, their voices louder with each passing second. Christina defends Will's plan; the Dauntless-born initiates vote for offense; everyone argues about who should make the decision. Four sits down on the edge of the carousel, leaning against a plastic horse's foot. His eyes lift to the sky, where there are no stars, only a round moon peeking through a thin layer of clouds. The muscles in his arms are relaxed; his hand rests on the back of his neck. He looks comfortable, holding that gun to his shoulder.

I close my eyes briefly. Why does he distract me so easily? I need to focus.

What would I say if I could shout above the sniping behind me? We can't act until we know where the other team is. They could be anywhere within a two-mile radius, although I can rule out the empty march as an option. The best way to find them is not to argue about how to search for them, or how many to send out in a search party.

It's to climb as high as possible.

I look over my shoulder to make sure no one is watching. None of them look at me, so I walk toward the Ferris wheel with light, quiet footsteps, pressing my gun to my back with one hand to keep it from making noise.

I grab a rung. It's rusty and thin and feels like it might crumble in my hands. I put my weight on the lowest rung to test it and jump to make sure it will hold me up.

"Tris," a low voice says behind me. I don't know why it doesn't startle me. Maybe because I am becoming Dauntless, and mental readiness is something I am supposed to develop. Maybe because his voice is low and smooth and almost soothing. Whatever the reason, I look over my shoulder. Four stands behind me with his gun slung across his back, just like mine.

"Yes?" I say.

"I came to find out what you think you're doing."

"I'm seeking higher ground," I say. "I don't think I'm doing anything."

I see his smile in the dark, "All right. I'm coming."

I pause a second. He doesn't look at me the way Will, Christina, and Al sometimes do-like I am too small and too weak to be of any use, and they pity me for it. But if he insists on coming with me, it is probable because he doubts me.

"I'll be fine," I say.

"Undoubtedly," he replies. I don't hear the sarcasm, but I know it's there. It has to be.

I climb, and when I'm a few feet off the ground, he comes after me. He moves faster than I do, and soon his hands find the rungs that my feet leave.

I stare down at the pavement. It seems far away now, but I'm not even a third of the way up. Above me is a platform, just below the centre of the wheel. That's my destination. I don't even think about how I will climb back down.

The breeze that brushed my cheeks earlier now presses against my side. The higher we go, the stronger it will get. I need to be ready.

The wind is stronger now. I press closer to the white support so I don't fall, but that makes it hard to climb. Below me the carousel looks small. I can barely see my team under the awning. Some of them are missing-a search party must have left.

Fours' breathing seems to be getting quicker but I wouldn't expect him to become breathless yet, he has always appeared to be one of the fittest person in the faction.

This height is dizzying. My hands ache from holding the rungs, and my legs are shaking, but I'm not sure why. It isn't the height that scares me-the height makes me feel alive with energy, every organ and vessel and muscle in my body singing at the same pitch.

Then I realize what it is. It's him. Something about four makes me feel like I am about to fall. Or turn to liquid. Or burst into flames.

My hand almost misses the next rung.

"Are you all fight, Four?"

"Are you human, Tris? Being up this high . . ." He gulps for air. "It doesn't scare you at all?"

I look over my shoulder at the ground. If I fall now, I will die. But I don't think I will fall.

A gust of air presses against my left side, throwing my body weight to the right. I gasp and cling to the rungs, my balance shifting. Four's cold hand clamps around one of my hips, one of his fingers finding a strip of bare skin just under the hem of my T-shirt. He squeezes, steadying me and pushing me gently to the left, restoring my valance.

Now I can't breathe. I pause, staring at my hands, my mouth dry. I feel the ghost of where his hand was his fingers long and narrow.

"You okay?" he asks quietly.

"Yes," I say, my voice strained.

I keep climbing, silently, until I reach the platform. Judging by the blunted ends of metal rods, it used to have railings, but it doesn't anymore. I sit down and scoot to the end of it so Four has somewhere to sit. Without thinking, I put my legs over the side. Four, however, crouches and presses his back to the metal support, breathing heavily.

"You're afraid of heights," I say. "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"

"I ignore my fear," he says. "When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist."

I stare at him for a second. I can't help it. To me there's a difference between not being afraid and acting in spite of fear, as he does.

I have been staring at him too long.

"What?" he says quietly.

"Nothing."

I look away from him and toward the city. I have to focus. I climbed up here for a reason.

The city is pitch-black, but even if it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to see very far. A building stands in my way.

"We're not high enough," I say. I look up. Above me is a tangle of white bars, the wheel's scaffolding. If I climb carefully, I can wedge my feet between the supports and the crossbars and stay secure. Or as secure as possible.

"I'm going to climb," I say, standing up. I grab one of the bars above my head and pull myself up.

"For God's sake, Tris," he says.

"You don't have to follow me," I say, staring at the maze of bars above me. I shove my foot onto the place where two bars cross and push myself up, grabbing another bar in the process. I sway for a second, my heart beating so hard I can't feel anything else. Every thought I have condenses into that heartbeat, moving at the same rhythm.

"Yes, I do," he says.

This is crazy, and I know it. A fraction of an inch of mistake, half a second of hesitation, and my life is over. Heat tears through my chest, and I smile as I grab the next bar. I pull myself up, my arms shaking, and force my leg under me so I'm standing on another bar. When I feel steady, I look down at Four. But instead of seeing him, I see straight to the ground.

I can't breathe.

I imagine my body plummeting, smacking into the bars as it falls down, and my limbs at broken angles on the pavement. Four grabs a bar with each hand and pulls himself up, easily.

I grab another bar, find another place to wedge my foot. When I look at the city again, the building isn't in my way. I'm high enough to see the skyline. Most of the buildings are black against a navy sky, but the red lights at the top of the Hub are lit up. Then I see a tiny pulsing light on the ground.

"See that?" I say, pointing.

Four stops climbing when he's right behind me and looks over my shoulder, his chin next to my head. His breaths flutter against my ear, and I feel shaky again, like I did when I was climbing the ladder.

"Yeah," he says. A smile spreads over his face.

"It's coming from the park at the end of the pier," he says. "Figures. It's surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough."

"Okay," I say. I look over my shoulder at him. We are so close I forget where I am; instead I notice that the corners of his mouth turn down naturally, just like mine, and that he has a scar on his chin.

"Um," I say. I clear my throat, "Start climbing down. I'll follow you.

Four nods and steps down. His leg is so long that he finds his foot easily and guides his body between the bars. Even in darkness, I see that his hands are bright red and shaking.

I step down with one foot, pressing my weight into one of the crossbars. The bar creaks beneath me and comes loose, clattering against half a dozen bars on the way down and bouncing on the pavement. I'm dangling from the scaffolding with my toes swinging in midair. A strangled gasp escapes me.

"Four!"

I try to find another place to put my foot, but the nearest foothold is a few feet away, farther than I can stretch. My hands are sweaty. I remember wiping them on my slacks before the Choosing Ceremony, before the aptitude test, before every important moment, and suppress a scream. I will slip. I will slip.

"Hold on!" he shouts. "Just hold on, I have an idea."

He keeps climbing down. He's moving in the wrong direction; he should be coming toward me, not going away from me. I stare at my hands, which are wrapped around the narrow bar so tightly my knuckles are white. My fingers are dark red, almost purple. They won't last.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Better not to look. Better to pretend that none of this exists. I hear Four's sneakers squeak against metal and rapid footsteps on ladder rungs.

"Four!" I yell. Maybe he left. Maybe he abandoned me. Maybe this is a test of my strength, of my bravery. I breathe in my nose and out my mouth. I count my breaths to calm down. One, two. In, out. Come on, four is all I can think. Come on, do something.

Then I hear something wheeze and creak. The bar I'm holding shudders, and I scream through my clenched teeth as I fight to keep my grip.

The wheel is moving.

Air wraps around my ankles and wrists as the wind gushes up, like a geyser. I open my eyes. I'm moving-toward the ground. I laugh, giddy with hysteria as the ground comes closer and closer. But I'm picking up speed. If I don't drop at the right time, the moving cars and metal scaffolding will drag at my body and carry me with them, and then I will really die.

Every muscle in my body tenses as I hurtle toward the ground. When I can see the cracks in the sidewalk, I drop, and my body slams into the ground, feet first. My legs collapse beneath me and I pull my arms in, rolling as fast as I can to the side. The cement scrapes my face, and I turn just in time to see a car bearing down on me, like a giant shoe about to crush me. I roll again, and the bottom of the car skims my shoulder.

I'm safe.

I press my palms to my face. I don't try to get up. If I did, I'm sure I would just fall back down. I hear footsteps, and Four's hands wrap around my wrists. I let him pry my hands from my eyes.

"You all right?" he asks, pressing our hands together.

"Yeah."

He starts to laugh.

After a second. I laugh too. With my free hand, I push myself to a sitting position. I am aware of how little space there is between us. The space feels charged with electricity.

He stands, pulling me up with him. The wheel is still moving, creating a wind that tosses my hair back.

You could have told me that the Ferris wheel still worked." I say. "We wouldn't have had to climb in the first place."

"I would have, if I had known," he says. "Couldn't just let you hang there, so I took a risk. Come on, time to get their flag. Zeke is going to be pissed when we beat him."

* * *

We are sitting in the train now. I can't believe that it was my strategy that won us the game of capture the flag. I don't know what to think of the time on the Ferris wheel with Four. The electricity that goes through my body whenever we touch makes me wonder what is happening between us, does he feel it too, I wonder. I am shaken from my thoughts when I hear Will.

"I can't believe I missed it!" Will says again, shaking his head. Wind coming through the doorway of the train car blows his hair in every direction.

"You were performing the very important job of staying out of our way," says Christina, beaming.

Al groans. "Why did I have to be on the other team?"

"Because life's not fair, Albert. And the world is conspiring against you," says Will. "Hey, can I see the flag again?"

Peter, Molly and Drew sit across from the members in the corner. Their chests and backs are splattered with blue and pink paint, and they look dejected. They speak quietly, sneaking looks at the rest of us, especially Christina. That is the benefit of not holding the flag right now – I am no one's target. Or at least, no more than usual.

"So you climbed the Ferris wheel, huh," Says Uriah. He stumbles across the car and sits next to me. Marlene follows him.

"Yes," I say.

"Pretty smart of you. Like . . . Erudite smart," Marlene says.

Uriah takes one of the paintballs from his gun and squeezes it between his thumb and index finger. The train lurches to the left, and Uriah falls against me, his fingers pinching the paintball until a stream of pink, foul-smelling paint sprays on my face.

Marlene collapses in giggles. I wipe some of the paint from my face, slowly, and then smear it on his cheek. The scent of fish oil wafts through the train car.

"Ew!" He squeezes the ball at me again, but the opening is at the wrong angle, and paint sprays into his mouth instead. He coughs and makes exaggerated gagging sounds.

I wipe my face with my sleeve, laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

If my entire life is like this, loud laughter and bold action and the kind of exhaustion you feel after a hard but satisfying day, I will be content. As Uriah scrapes his tongue with his fingertips, I feel eyes on me. I look across the train car and Four is staring at me. He smiles at me before a Dauntless member I don't know starts talking to him and his gaze is broken from mine. That is when I realise that this is where I am supposed to be. My reason for coming here may have been misguided but I believe I belong here and I am sure that Tobias would want me to belong here too. I just wish he was here with me, he would have loved Dauntless.


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER 25**

 **FOUR POV**

I am in the dining hall for lunch sitting with Zeke and Shauna we are discussing me kicking Zeke's butt in capture the flag last night. We didn't have training this morning. I decided we would just have knife throwing this afternoon and fights tomorrow. We are broken from our conversation with Amar and Uriah coming over.

"Hey bro, you in for the annual Dauntless-born initiation dare game tonight?" Uriah asks Zeke.

"Wouldn't miss it, Shauna, Four are you in?" asks Amar.

I could use a night to let off steam. The transfers won't be there so I can just relax. "Yeah," I say.

"I will be there," says Shauna.

"Awesome," says Uriah. Amar sits at our table and Uriah starts to walk off. "I've invited a couple of the transfers to come along too," says Uriah.

"What!" Zeke and I say at the same time. Uriah stops and walks back over to us.

"I thought the name of the game was Dauntless-born initiates dare?" I ask.

"I'm changing it up this year," Uriah says with a shrug and runs off before we can stop him.

"What's the problem Four? Who cares if they are there?" asks Shauna.

"I think Uriah has a crush on Tris, they were pretty chummy when we went zip lining the other day," says Zeke.

"Yeah but she seemed more interested in someone else," says Shauna.

This has totally peeked my attention. Tris can't be with Uriah, there is no way I'm going to let that happen. But how am I supposed to stop it. Wait did Shauna just say Tris has a crush on someone?

"How do you two know all this?" I ask.

"Well if you'd come zip lining you would have seen it," says Shauna. "Why all the interest?"

I put my head down and try not to show just how interested that I am. But as usual Amar who knows me so well is quick to pick up on my discomfort at the question. "Oh, I think someone here has his own little crush going on," says Amar.

"I knew it," Zeke says. Amar and Shauna are both looking at me. "Dude it's about time you worked it out."

I just shake my head and get up from the table. I can feel my cheeks are flushed and I don't want to further embarrass myself so I start to walk off. I get to the door of the dining hall when Shauna grabs my arm. "She's interested in you too Four," Shauna says.

"How do you know?" I say. My voice is barely a whisper and could crack at any second.

"She talked about you plus I can tell," she says. She gives my arm a rub and says, "It will be okay, just make sure that you give Marlene this dare at the game tonight." She whispers the dare into my ear and I nod and walk out. I have a lot to think about.

* * *

We decided to have the game of dare in the training room. With such a large number it will make it easier to move around the compound. Our games of dare usually have us tracking all over the city. We are gathered in a really large circle. There is Zeke, Shauna, Amar, Lauren, Uriah, Lynn, Marlene, Tris, Christina, Will, Al, Peter and three other Dauntless-born initiates here. How the hell did Peter get an invite to this? None of the transfers here like him and I haven't seen him around any Dauntless-borns.

"Uriah you get to start," says Amar.

"Okay Amar I dare you to," Uriah says. But before he can finish Lauren is whispering something in his ear and Uriah now has a big grin on his face.

"Amar I dare you to go to the Erudite library and scream something obscene," Uriah says.

"Seriously Lauren? You get someone to give me this dare every year," Amar says. "Well come on let's go."

We all get up and make our way to the train.

We are all on the train talking in our little groups when Amar comes over to Zeke and me. "What's that Peter kid like at fighting?" Amar asks.

"Why?" I ask.

"I saw him have a run in with Lynn the other day and I want her to have the chance to beat the shit out of him," Amar says.

We sit down and I tell him all of Peter's flaws when he fights and how dirty he can be. I don't have a problem with Lynn fighting him. She is one of the toughest fighters in Dauntless and I'm sure even without my help could bring him down.

When we get off the train Amar walks straight into the Erudite building. The Erudite at the front desk just start shaking their heads as Amar yells something I can't quiet hear out and pulls down his pants and moons the Erudite. He runs out the building and when he gets to the door he shouts at them, "see you again next year." And runs back laughing to us. I can see now why the Erudite were just shaking their heads. They remember him from last year and the year before that. He has been doing the same dare since his initiation five years ago.

We catch the next train back to Dauntless and I can see that Lynn and Amar are in a discussion. Looks like Peter is going to get a beat down. Can't say I'm unhappy about this.

We are back sitting in our circle. "Lynn I dare you to fight Peter," Amar says. Lynn nods and I look at Peter and he has a smirk on his face. He thinks he is going to win, arrogant little prick.

Lynn and Peter get into the ring and the fighting begins. Lynn is quick to attack Peter. A quick punch to the throat that shocks him, it also gives Lynn a chance to punch Peter in the nose. His nose has started to bleed. When he sees the blood this enrages him and he kicks her in the side. A less experienced fighter would have been knocked off balance but not Lynn. She grabs his foot and pushes him to the ground. He quickly gets up. They are now just dancing around each other; we could be here all night. Lynn has finally spotted a weakness and goes in for quick jabs to his stomach and then an elbow to his chin. Peter grabs Lynn in a headlock and throws her to the ground. Just as she is about to get back up he kicks her in the head and she is now on the mat.

The fight has been pretty even, I would even say other than the fact that Lynn is now on the mat she has had the upper hand. "Okay that's enough," I say. I can see Peter is about to object so I put a hand up and say, "Enough! You both have fights in training tomorrow. Plus we want to finish this game sometime tonight."

We get back into our circle and Lynn says, "Shauna, I dare you to run around the pit naked." I can hear whispering around the circle and Zeke says, "That's harsh Lynn."

"So was Shauna making me shave my head two years ago, I've been waiting for some payback," Lynn says. This is the first time Uriah, Lynn and Marlene have been allowed to play dare since the fireworks in the dining hall incident.

"Why did it take two years to get her back? Don't you guys play this all the time?" asks Christina.

"We had a little incident a few years ago and Uriah, Lynn and Marlene haven't been allowed to play dare until now," Zeke says. He is grinning as I am remembering back to that little incident.

"What was so bad that you couldn't play?" Christina asks. Bloody Candor always with the questions.

This is when Uriah decides to say, "Well I dared Zeke and Four to let fireworks off in the dining hall and they did."

Amar looks at me, "That was you?"

I just nod my head and start laughing at the memory. Everyone who is Dauntless-born are laughing and Uriah is explaining to everyone how it went down. Everyone is laughing and talking so much that we didn't notice that Shauna had left the room.

Next thing she is back in the room and she has a sheet around her and dad is standing next to her. "No more naked dares or I will ban every single one of you from dare," dad says. We all just start laughing again, at least Shauna got the dare over with without her friends seeing her naked.

Once the laughter dies down Shauna looks at me. "Four, I dare you to kiss Tris," she says. Everyone has turned and are now staring at me. It's not that I see them it's that I feel them. My eyes are solely on Tris. I raise my eyebrow to her and she gives what I think is a little nod.

I stand and walk over to where Tris is sitting. I stand in front of her and hold out my hands to lift her to her feet. We are standing only inches from each other but I can feel the heat that is radiating from our bodies. I think I could go up in flames right about now. I bend down wrapping my arms around her waist and I whisper in her ear, "I wish we were alone for this." I feel the shiver that has gone through her body as I whispered in her ear

I do wish we were alone for this. All the times I have wanted to kiss her and now it is here. It isn't how I pictured it happening. I have my back to the circle trying to shield us from the stares of the group of people around us. My plan is to just brush my lips to hers. Nothing more, I want privacy for anything deeper. I don't even know if she wants me, I don't think she will want me when she finally knows the truth of who I really am. But even the simplest of plans don't always work out the way you want them too. Especially when a kiss is involved.

I lean down and I brush my lips against hers. I fully intended to stop at just this but having her this close to me sends my brain into overload and I can't think straight. So instead of pulling away I press my lips to hers. At first I feel her hesitate and I wonder if I am doing this wrong but then I feel her hands slowly move around my neck and she pulls me closer to her. Her lips feel so soft on mine, like they are always supposed to be here. I don't want this moment to end.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and I have to break away from our kiss. I look up and Zeke is standing next to me. "Excuse me, we have a game to play here," he says. I look at him like I look at the initiates, with a look that says run fast because I will kill you if I catch you. I look at Tris who has turned a bright shade of red, I pull her to me for a hug and then I have to let her go.

I walk over to my place in the circle and sit back down. "Damn girl, that was some first kiss," Christina says. I know that I have now gone the same shade of red that Tris was only seconds ago.

"That was your first kiss?" Uriah asks.

"Sort of," says Tris.

"How can it be sort of?" Marlene asks.

Now Tris has gone from a bright red to a much deeper red. "Well does getting kissed by the boy you loved at six count?" she asks. She is talking about me; I was the boy who gave her that kiss. And she did love me.

"Well that depends, did you kiss him back?" Christina asks.

"I bet you slapped his face and ran away," I say. Because that is exactly what she did.

She looks at me, it's not just any look it's a glare. Her glare tells me that she wants to know how the hell I know what happened. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," she says, blushing.

Before it can get any more uncomfortable I say, "It's my turn." Hoping this will take the focus of Tris.

"Marlene, I dare you to tell us who your crush is?" I ask. I look over to Shauna who nods and gives me a wink.

"Uriah," Marlene whispers but it is loud enough for all to hear. Uriah gets up from where he is sitting and he goes and sits next to Marlene and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Thank you Shauna I am thinking to myself, I really owe her two as she was the one who dared me to kiss Tris. I look back over to Shauna with a grin on my face. She just shakes her head at me.

"My turn," says Marlene. "Peter." We all look at Peter and he is looking uncomfortable. Everyone knows that Lynn is Marlene's best friend. If I didn't know that Marlene is one of the nicest people you will ever meet then I would say that Peter would be in for a world of hurt. But what she asks is good enough. "Peter I dare you to kiss the first person you see in the pit."

Not too bad, it could have been a lot worse. Until we all get up and make our way into the pit and the first person we see is Eric. It looks like he has just stumbled out of Dauntless Nights and he seems really drunk. I see Peter gulp as he starts to move towards Eric. This should be hilarious; the transfers don't know what a psychotic bastard Eric is. Maybe we will get to see Peter get another beat down tonight. Overall I think the night is going really well.

Peter walks up to Eric and says, "Really sorry about this but I am playing a game of dare." He then gives Eric a kiss on the lips and as he is moving away Eric grabs him by his shirt and punches him in the face. Just as Eric is about to throw another punch I grab his arm and say, "let it go Eric, it is just a bit of fun."

He lets go of Peter who quickly moves back into the protection of our group. "Fuck you Four," Eric says and he tries to take a swing at me. I duck and sweep his legs out from under him. "As I said Eric let it go. You should know better than to try and hit me."

"I hate you Four," Eric yells. But I just wave to him and walk off. I don't need any more drama from Eric. He has never forgiven me for beating him in initiation and he blames me for having to work at the fence. Every chance he gets he tries to have a go at me. I'm not going to let tonight be ruined by his childish vendettas.

Peter is looking around the room when his eyes stop on Tris. I can see the evil glint in his eye. Oh God, what is he going to make her do? "Tris," he says. "I dare you to let Four throw four knives at you after drinking four shots."

That is a good dare. I can do this, no problem. I look at Tris and she nods and says, "Okay."

We get up and walk over to the targets and I get knives out of the cupboard. Zeke comes up to me and says, "you need to knick her."

"What? Are you out of your mind?" I say. Has Zeke gone completely crazy? I hope so. Why else would he suggest something like this?

"Listen to me. They can't know. You can't let them know you like her and after that kiss; it is obvious to everyone how you feel. You have to do this. You have to be smart. Peter can't be trusted; he has done this for a reason. Dude you need to be smart here," Zeke says. Zeke may be looked at as a goofball but he can be really perceptive sometimes.

I know he is right, but I don't think I can do this. Just the thought makes me sick. Zeke pours out four shots of alcohol and hands them to me, "drink up, it will make it easier."

"I don't think I can do it Zeke," I whisper.

"You have too. Just get it over with quickly. She will understand," he says.

I stand here with the knives in my hands and I feel sick. And it's not from the alcohol I wish it was. How do I do this? I know Zeke is right. But it doesn't feel right. I am about to go against everything I believe. I know it is for the right reason and it is killing me that I have to do this, I would rather cut off my own arm.


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 26**

 **FOUR POV**

Tris stands with her back to the target. The group has gathered round to watch. Zeke is standing next to me, I 'm sure he is there to try and give me strength. To make sure I don't screw this up. I look around the group and then my eyes find Peter. He is standing there with a smirk on his face, thinking he has won, that he has found a way to torment Tris even more than I know he already does. He may think he is smart but he isn't. I will do this and then I will make it my mission to make sure that he doesn't become a Dauntless member. I don't know how, but I am going to find a way.

"Ready?" I ask Tris. She nods her head. "Don't move okay?" I don't know if I'm saying okay to Tris or I'm trying to reassure myself. My chest feels tight, I am tempted to take a few more shots of alcohol but that wouldn't be wise. I need to get this right, cause the least amount of damage to Tris and throw suspicion away from my feelings for her.

I pass the knife from my left hand to my right, as I always do. I inhale then I exhale and the knife has left my sweaty fingers. The knife has landed an inch from Tris' right knee. I can hear the people around me breathe again. Only three more to go I think.

I start the process again. Passing the knife from my left to my right hand. Inhale, exhale and once again the knife is gone. It has landed an inch from her left cheek. Tris hasn't moved, I wonder if she is even breathing at the moment. I look into her eyes and I am sure she trusts me, if only she knew what I know I have to do. But first I need to release this third knife. The knife lands just above her head right where the part is in her hair.

One to go. I look at Zeke hoping he will tell me I don't need to do this but no, it is the opposite. "C'mon man, you can do this. It will be okay," he whispers to me. I am concentrating harder than I ever thought I possibly could. I have to wipe the fear from my mind, stop listening to my beating heart as it is racing ready to burst out of my tight chest at any moment.

I ignore my sweating palms; I am staring at the cartilage on the tip of her ear. I inhale then exhale and I let the knife go. Although it is over in less than a second with minimal damage to Tris physically, the emotional damage to me could have lasting ramifications. Did I just blow any chance with her? Does this negate the beautiful kiss we shared just a moment ago.

I look at Tris and I can see the burning anger in her eyes, she has clenched fists and I am waiting for the barrage of insults that should be coming my way any moment. Zeke runs up to Tris, "girl you were awesome!" He then whispers to her, "I know you're pissed but you need to pick someone to give a dare too. Do that, then have words with my boy over there."

Tris looks at Zeke and I can see that he is going to be the first to have to deal with her wrath. "Ok Zeke," she says loudly. "I dare you to let Christina dress you up in women's clothing and you walk down the streets of Abnegation."

Christina lets out a squeal of joy. Seems she doesn't mind who she is making over, she is going to enjoy this. "Ok we will meet at the train tracks in fifteen minutes," Zeke says. Christina laughs and says, "Make it thirty I need time to work. Girls come and help me. This is going to be so much fun."

Everyone starts to walk out of the training room, either making their way to the train tracks or they are following Zeke and Christina to help with the makeover. Tris hasn't moved she is still standing in front of the target. As soon as everyone has left the room she walks over to where I am standing. I haven't been able to move. All I want to do is take her in my arms and say I'm sorry but I'm frightened if I move I will throw up. I feel sick to the stomach. How do I ever explain to her why I did it? Without me sounding like a complete fool.

"You did that on purpose!" she shouts.

"Yes, I did," I say. Barely louder than a whisper. Having to have to admit what I just did is repulsive to me. "You should be thanking me for it," I say with a little more confidence in my voice.

"Thanking you! Thanking you are you insane?" she says. As she raises her hand to slap me I grab her wrist and pull her to me. There are so many emotions coursing through my body at this moment and the only thing I can do to stop them is to kiss her. Not the soft first kiss that I gave her before but this kiss is all passion and fire. It is full of hunger and desire but instead of her putting her arms around me like before she pushes me away. And starts to run toward the door.

"Tris! Tris!" I call after her. She turns and yells, "I hate you Four Johnson."

"That's great Tris. How well did that work out for the last guy you said that too?" I know I have stepped over the line here. I know that there is no turning back. I am angry with her, I am angry with me. I should never have nicked her ear; I shouldn't have listened to Zeke. I should have just said be damned with who knows I like her. It's nobody's business but ours anyway. But no I took the easy way out and now I have cut her down even further with this comment.

She stops dead in her tracks. She turns and stares at me. I may as well be that nine year old boy she said those same words to so long ago now. Because I feel like him. I feel even more defeated than I did that day. I see the tears in her eyes as she turns back and runs out the door. I scream in frustration and kick the table the knives had been on. I slump down to the floor and I sit there with my head between my knees.

I can't change what I have done. I can't take back the words that have come out of my mouth. But I can at least try to make amends for my stupid actions and words. I sit there thinking, trying to work out what I can do to make this right when someone taps me on the shoulder. I look up and Shauna is standing there.

"Come on Four, you can't do this to yourself," she says. She doesn't know the half of what has just transpired between Tris and me. "Zeke is almost ready we need to get to the tracks. You can work everything out with Tris later. I swear when you see Zeke it will make you feel a little bit better."

Hopefully Tris has gone to the tracks and I can try to talk to her there. I get myself off the ground and give Shauna a hug. "Thank you," I say. "Always Four, your family to me. We will help you get her back I promise."

* * *

I get to the track but I can't see Tris. Did I really think she would be here? If I answer honestly then no. Do I wish she was her? Yes. I walk over to our group with Shauna and notice that Zeke, Christina and Marlene are also missing. That's when I hear Uriah wolf whistle and start laughing. I turn my head and I see Zeke attempting to walk in a pair of five inch heels. How he will get on the train is probably something he hasn't thought of yet. Zeke is in a really short skirt. We are all really lucky that he isn't the tallest of guys or he would be showing a lot more than anyone needs to see. He has a V-neck sleeveless top on and we can all see his belly button. The top is so tight on him that the material looks as though it could snap at any moment.

We have got ourselves in some trouble over the years with our dares but this is definitely going to go down as one of the best. I will have to remember to go to the control room tomorrow and print off a few shots of this moment. We are all laughing and for a brief moment it has given me a chance to think without Tris clouding my every thought.

Shauna goes up to Zeke and gives him a quick kiss. "Hey you will wipe all my lipstick off," says Zeke. Which only brings howls of laughter from all of us. I can see the train approaching. "You might want to take your shoes off for this Zeke," I say. He looks down to his shoes, I'm sure he will be buying Christina a new outfit along with matching shoes sometime soon as these are never going to be worn by her again. He will probably want the clothes to stash in his dare bag that he keeps. The amount of things he has collected over the years for our games of dare is amazing.

We all jump on the train. I have jumped into the last carriage by myself. Not wanting to have to deal with the happiness of my friends at the moment. I stick my head out of the carriage door and as I look back towards the compound and I see her. She is running to catch up to the train. As she goes to jump on I pull her up and into the train car.

She stands there and we are just staring into each other's eyes. "I'm sorry," I say. I want to say so much more. I have so much more to say but I still haven't worked out how I am going to tell her. How do I tell her that her Tobias is still alive? If nicking her ear has caused this much anger what is she going to be like when she learns the truth.

"I'm sorry too," she says.

"I never meant to hurt you, I mean I did but not for the reason you're probably thinking," I say.

"I think I understand, I'm not happy about it but I know it was for my own safety," she says. "I went and talked to Zeke while he was getting his makeover and he explained it too me. I'm really glad I gave him this dare now."

We both laugh at this. "So are we okay?" I ask. I can hear the pleading in my voice. She nods. "I would hug you now but I don't think we need to put on any more of a show tonight," I say. Nodding my head towards the people in the next carriage. Everyone is watching our interaction, especially Peter who has a scowl on his face. I really need to find a way to kick him out of Dauntless.

I can feel the tension has partially lifted from my shoulders. There is still so much that needs to be said, I think I'll give mum a visit tomorrow. She is really good with this sort of stuff. Even if she doesn't tell me what to do, it is good that I can just go and talk it all out. Maybe she will have an idea on how to tell Tris to truth.

We jump off the train at the edge of the Abnegation section and it is only now that I realise exactly where I am. There has been so much drama tonight that I didn't think of how being here would affect me. I haven't been here in nine years, half a life time ago. I can't move I feel like my feet are made of lead. "I'll wait here for you guys," I say.

"Is everything alright Four?" Tris asks.

"I'm fine Tris, I just shouldn't be seen here," I say. She looks at me puzzled. "I'm a leader Tris; if I get caught in the middle of this dare it could cause Dauntless a lot of trouble." It wouldn't matter if I did get caught there are no rules that say I can't be here. It is my fear of him that is holding me back. She nods her head. "Do you want me to stay with you?" she asks. I shake my head, "no go and enjoy the dare you gave him."

I can hear a lot of laughter and in the distance I can see Zeke strutting his stuff as he walks down the street. The amount of noise they are making should have the occupants of Abnegation awake any minute. As I am thinking this I start to see lights being turned on and curtains moved in windows. "Come on guys hurry up," I yell to the group. We really don't need any trouble. I also know that Abnegation do not like people using electricity at night if possible, so this should upset a few people. Although they would never complain about it.

The group is starting to walk back towards the train tracks when I see the Dauntless patrol car pull up. Shit now we are in trouble. I forget my fear and start to walk over to where the officers have gotten out of the car. "Should have known it was you Zeke," says the first officer. He is smiling so hopefully this will end well. "I'm sorry Zeke but we are going to have to take you back to Dauntless." I walk up to the group and say, "is this really necessary?"

"Sorry Four but yeah we need to take him back with us. It's protocol. When we get back you can sign him straight out and because you're a leader we can let him go with a warning," Officer number two says. "You guys get the train back and I will go with Zeke and get this sorted. Initiates go back to the dorms get some rest we have fights in the morning," I say.

"Wait," says Zeke. "Uriah come here for a minute."

Uriah walks over to Zeke and he hands him something. I couldn't see what he gave him but then he whispers something in his ear and Uriah starts laughing. "No problem bro," Uriah says.

We get into the patrol car and I say, "what did you say to Uriah?"

"Just gave him the best dare ever. And I mean ever," Zeke says.

"Are you going to let me in on this best dare ever?"

"No way you can wait and see it for yourself tomorrow," he says with a wicked grin on his face. I just shake my head. What could possibly be the best dare ever? We have done some amazing dares over the years.


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 27**

 **FOUR POV**

I took the initiates for a run this morning. Thought it would be a good way to clear my head. It is warm in the city this time I year. We get back and everyone has worked up a sweat. "Make sure you rehydrate," I say. I realise I don't have my water bottle with me. Damn I'll have to go and get one. "Take ten minutes; I'll be back in a second."

I walk out of the training room and jog up to my apartment to get my water bottle. I get back to the pit and I see Zeke, Amar and the Dauntless-born transfers all walking into our training room. What has happened now? I think what the hell have they got themselves into now. If Zeke is here it can't be good. Then I remember. Crap! What was Zekes' dare?

I'm not sure I am going to be able to ever describe what I am seeing properly to anyone, ever! "What the hell did you do to them?" I ask.

The Dauntless-born initiates are in fits of laughter along with Lauren and Amar. Zeke is on the floor rolling around, I'm wondering if whatever is going on with the initiates has affected him too. He is trying to say something but I can't understand a word he is saying because of his laughter.

"Peace serum," says Uriah.

"WHAT!"

"Zeke dared me to put peace serum in the transfer's water."

I look over to the water dispenser and see Tris has just refilled her bottle and has started to drink it. I run over and take the bottle out of her hand.

"Four," she whines.

"How much did you drink Tris?" She holds up two fingers. As she holds them up she is moving them across her face like she is in a trance.

"What the fuck am I going to do with them in this state?" I ask. Who I'm asking I don't know. The transfers are all drugged and everyone else is hysterical with laughter.

I look at the transfers and I see Molly and Peter dancing, I think that is what they are trying to do. They aren't exactly coordinated. Christina and Will have started making out, I'm going to have to try and stop that or they will probably be doing things in public that they will regret when they get off this high. Tris is still standing in front of me watching her fingers move and now she is giggling.

Al is just standing there. It doesn't look like he has had any of the peace serum. "You okay Al?" I ask. "Yeah I already had a full water bottle so I didn't drink any of that," he says while pointing to the water dispenser.

Drew has curled up in a ball and looks like he is asleep. Edward looks like he is okay too but Myra who has a small framed body is singing to Edward and skipping around in circles. I have no idea what I am going to do with this lot. I am going to have to find out how long this shit lasts.

I drag Tris over to Zeke and the others. I am not going to let her out of my sight. She has drunk at least two litres of this stuff and I don't know how long she is going to be like this. Zeke has gotten off the floor. "What were you thinking, you idiot?" I say to Zeke and clip him over the back of his head with my hand.

"Amar can you stay here and look after them? I need to go and ring Johanna in Amity and find out how long this will last. Uriah how much did you put in the water?"

"It was two vials, Four," he says.

"Lauren take your initiates back to your training room would you?"

"Zeke stay here and make sure no one and I mean no one drinks anymore of that water. That means you too Zeke. Don't touch it," I say. "And Zeke, I will know if you have had any." I know he would like to try the stuff he has hinted about it for years.

I pull on Tris's arm. "Come on, you are coming with me," I say as I drag her along with me up to my office. I need to get some answers.

* * *

I sit Tris in my office chair while I try and find Johanna's phone number in Amity. Tris has found that the chair can spin and is sitting there spinning around and around. She will probably fall off in a minute.

Dad walks into my office just as I'm about to dial the number. "What did you do to your initiate?" he asks.

I shake my head. "I didn't do anything. Bloody Zeke dared Uriah to put peace serum in the water dispenser in the training room. Now I have a room full of drug fucked crazy people," I say.

Dad's reaction isn't what I was expecting. He bursts out laughing. "I've been waiting for this day," he says.

"What day?"

"The day when you have to be the responsible one after one of your mates dares goes wrong," he says. Still laughing at me.

I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to think how I am going to deal with these guys until they come off their high. "I'm about to ring Johanna and find out how long the stuff lasts," I say. Then there is a loud thump and giggling, "I fell off Four," Tris says.

Dad looks at her and then at me. "Go back down to the training room, I'll talk to Johanna and then I'll let you know what to expect with this stuff," dad says. He hasn't stopped laughing, which is just really annoying at the moment.

"Tell her there was two vials put into half full water dispenser," I say. "Come on you. We are going back to the training room." I pick Tris up off the floor and start to carry her bridal style.

"This would be a really good time to give me a kiss Four," Tris says as we are walking out of my office. This starts my dad off with another round of laughter. I just shake my head. "Good luck son," he says.

"Come on Four don't you want to kiss me?"

"I'm not going to kiss you Tris. It's really not the time," I say. God I wish I could kiss her, if only she knew how much. No don't think that way. You need to figure this out.

Then a strange grin comes across Tris' face. "That's why you like me!" she exclaims. "Because you're not very nice either! It makes so much more sense now," she says.

"I don't think this is the time Tris," I say.

"I like you, too," she says. She is going to be so embarrassed when she comes down from this. I really hope she is still talking to me when this is over.

I'm trying to get us back to the training room but Tris is kicking her feet up and down. If I wasn't so worried about what this is doing to her, I would probably find it funny. "I think you should walk," I say. I put her down on her feet and she says, "Noooo, give me a piggy back ride."

Tris then proceeds to jump on my back and is giggling. I grab her legs so she doesn't fall off as we walk across the Pit. Tori is coming out of the tattoo parlour and gives me a strange look.

"Hi Tori," says Tris. In a bubbly voice that sounds nothing like she usually does.

"Hi Tris, Four. New training techniques?" she asks.

"No Zeke dared Uriah to put peace serum in the water and my initiates are all high on it," I say.

"Good luck with that Four," Tori says as she walks off laughing. I am getting funny looks from of a lot of the Dauntless. It reminds me of when we found Uriah hanging from the rock wall. I suppose this is a great way for him to pay me back for leaving him there that night.

I walk into the training room and Zeke is near the water dispenser with a bottle in his hand. "Hey! Get away from that," I say. "You've caused enough problems, I'm not having you high as well."

Drew is still asleep on the floor; Molly is still dancing only it is by herself now. It looks like Peter has come down from his high and he doesn't look very happy about it. Which makes me laugh. Christina and Will are still all over each other; thank god they still have clothes on.

Dad walks into the training room. "Johanna said that it depends on how much the person has taken and their weight. She said it could be an hour or it could be three or more. She couldn't give you an exact time frame."

"Great, what am I supposed to do with this lot now?" I say in frustration.

Dad just shakes his head and laughs, then walks out the door.

"Okay, Edward can you look after Myra for me please?" He nods. "Peter you stay here with Molly and Drew. Zeke take Christina and Will to your place," I say.

"Why my place?" Zeke asks.

"Because it is your fault they are in this state and I don't want them grinding on the training room floor. Take them to your place and look after them," I say.

Zeke hangs his head in defeat and says, "Okay." He walks over to Christina and Will and convinces them to follow him.

"What should I do?" says Al. "Do you want me to look after Tris?"

Is he kidding me? There is no way I am leaving her with him. I know he would never do anything inappropriate but I do not want the girl I like hanging out with another guy while high on peace serum.

"No thanks Al. I think I need to find somewhere quiet for Tris to calm down and it may take awhile. She had a larger dose than everyone else. I will look after her. You should probably practise your knife throwing Al," I say. The guy is useless with a knife. He could use all the practise he can get.

"Okay young lady, you are coming with me," I say. Tris is still on my back.

"Young lady," Tris laughs. "You're so funny Four. Why don't you seem so scary today?"

"Must be all the water you drank Tris."

"Oh I liked that water. Can I have some more?"

"Not today Tris." That reminds me I need to get rid of the rest of the water. I walk over to the water dispenser; there isn't much in there now. These guys drank almost half the dispenser. I take it off and I pour the water down the drain. Hope there aren't any animals down that drain or they are going to be buzzing.

* * *

I reach my apartment with Tris still on my back. She has not stopped talking the whole way here. Lucky for me she is having a conversation with herself, she almost babbling the way she is talking. Maybe I should bring Jed over; they would be perfect company for each other at the moment.

I enter the apartment and I take Tris upstairs to my bedroom. I'm hoping she will lie down until this stuff wears off. I am going to be in for a long afternoon if she doesn't. I deposit Tris on the bed and I say, "Get some rest Tris; you have had a busy day."

"Aren't you going to join me?" she asks.

I gulp. This is not something that I was expecting out of her mouth.

"I don't think that's a good idea Tris," I say.

"Please," she whines. "I promise I will try to sleep if you stay with me."

I have no self control; of course I want to lie down next to her. I am having a heated debate in my head whether or not to do this when Tris grabs my arm and pulls me onto the bed. I land straight on top of her. She starts to giggle. I'm glad she is finding this funny because I am feeling really . . . I don't have a word for it. I know I'm not uncomfortable, being this close to Tris is like a dream come true but I also know that while she is still in this state I have to move.

I move across the bed and lie down next to her. She moves across and lays her head on my chest and her arm across my stomach. Thankfully it only takes a few minutes and she is asleep taking me with her a short while after that.

 **TRIS POV**

I wake up and I am in a darkened room. How did I get here? I start to get my bearings and I realise that I am sleeping on someone's chest. What the hell? Then I start to remember. I let out a moan as I think of the peace serum. I raise my head just enough to see that it is Fours' chest that I am lying on. I know I should get up, that I shouldn't be in this position. But instead I lie my head back down onto Fours' chest.

He starts to stir. I don't know what I should do. Part of me wants to run out the door but there is another part of me that is willing me to stay. I'm like a magnet and I can't pull myself away. I moan again, this is so embarrassing; Four is going to think I'm a lunatic.

I feel the rumble of his chest as he lets out a small laugh and the vibration of his chest as he asks me how I am feeling. If only someone could open the floor and suck me into it at this moment.

"I am so sorry," I say. "You must think I'm a lunatic."

"No Tris I don't think that," he says. "But you were really funny."

"How did it happen? One minute I was having a drink and the next. Well you saw what happened."

"Uriah put peace serum in the water dispenser. It seems as Zeke was being arrested last night he gave Uriah the final dare for the night," he says.

I sit up quickly and look at Four. "Are you kidding me? I will kill both of them when I see them," I say. Now I'm angry.

"Calm down Tris. Its okay, you didn't do anything bad. It is just another fun night of crazy dares from the Pedrad boys. Just remember to think up a really good dare to give Uriah next time," he says.

"Come here," he says. And he pulls me back down so my head is back on his chest and he has his arm around me. I want to stay angry but I can't. I am lying on a bed with Four. That is not something I could have dreamed would ever be possible. I don't know why he has me here or why he wants me here but I get the feeling that it's what he wants.

Now I am getting nervous. I was so caught up in what had happened. Now all I can think of is where I am and who I am with. I hear Fours' heart beating in his chest and it is beating just as fast as mine is. Is he nervous too? Why would he be nervous he must have had plenty of women? He is so handsome and all the Dauntless girls are always swooning over him.

"What am I doing here Four?" I ask.

"You seemed to have had the most serum. I wanted to make sure you were safe. So I brought you back to my place so I could keep an eye on you. I tried to get you to go to sleep but you refused," he says.

Oh God, I remember, I told him I wanted him to come to bed too. Can this get any more embarrassing?

"I'm sorry Four. This is so embarrassing," I say.

I can feel the smile on his face, even though I can't see it and I can hear it in his voice. "I'm not complaining Tris. It's probably the most peaceful sleep I've ever had and I didn't even have any peace serum."

"What time is it?" I ask. I'm starting to get hungry and as much as I don't want to move I know I can't stay like this forever. I shouldn't be here like this; if my parents could see me right now they would both be having heart attacks. Dad probably would have had two heart attacks and a stroke by now.

"It's just after eight," Four says.

"I should go, I've taken up too much of your time today already," I say. I start to move and Four squeezes my side. "Don't," he says. "Stay a little longer." I can't breathe and my mouth has gone dry. He wants me to stay. I don't understand why, why he would want me to be here with him. I put my head back down on his chest, I feel like I am going to melt into liquid or burst into flames all at the same time. I love just listening to his heart beating, the shallow breathes that he is taking in. By his breathing and heart beat I can tell he is as nervous as I am feeling. How is that possible? This is Four. Dauntless prodigy.

"Four."

"Yeah."

"I'm really hungry."

He lets out a chuckle and says, "We probably should go and get something to eat while the dining hall is still open."

I lift myself off the bed and a shiver runs through me. I'm cold after having the warmth of Fours' body next to mine.

"Cold?" he asks.

"A little"

He walks over to his walk in robe and pulls out a sweater. "It's the smallest one I've got," he says, handing me the sweater.

I pull it on and it swims on me but it has his scent on it and there is no way I am taking it off.

We walk down stairs and as I reach for the door handle Four spins me round to him and kisses me.

 **FOUR POV**

We walk into the dining hall together. I don't really think it matters that people see us together. I am sure the rumours have already spread through Dauntless of how my crazy initiates were acting today and the fact that I was carrying Tris throughout the compound. I shouldn't really be mad at Uriah and Zeke. I got to spend time with Tris and that kiss. Wow, I could spend the rest of my life kissing that girl. And the fact that I slept soundly, peacefully for the first time ever. I don't need peace serum, Tris is the only drug I need.

"Dude, where have you been? I have been looking for you for hours. I knocked on your door and there was no answer," Zeke says.

"I fell asleep, mustn't have heard you," I say.

"And you missy," Zeke points to Tris. "Where have you been?"

"With Four," she whispers and starts to blush.

"What! What have you two been up to?" Zeke cries out.

"Zeke calm down. We fell asleep, that's it now drop it," I say forcefully.

"I can't calm down, those two," and he points to Will and Christina. "they had sex in my bed Four."

"You let them have sex while they were high on peace serum? What is wrong with you? I told you to look after them!"

"It was after," whispers Christina. She has gone red in the face. I didn't think Christina knew how to whisper. Seeing her embarrassment is quite funny.

"What?" I ask.

"They had sex after they came down from their high," says Zeke. We have all started laughing now, not at what Christina and Will did but at how Zeke is reacting to it.

"It's your fault everyone was high Zeke," I say. I am laughing as I say it. "they would never have been in your room if you hadn't dared Uriah. So really you can't blame anyone but yourself."

"Do we know how everyone else is?" I ask.

"Yeah, it didn't take too long to come down. Although last I checked Drew was still asleep in the training room. Lauren told us to just leave him, better to let him sleep it off she said," Uriah says. "I think Edward had a bit of trouble with his girl, only for the fact it took her so long to come down. But they both looked alright when they left here a little while ago."

"So when are we going to play dare again?" asks Lynn.

I give her one of my menacing stares and she says, "Maybe not for a while ha."

We all burst out laughing. Last night overall was a blast. I'll have to go to the control room tomorrow and see if I can print out those pictures of Zeke dressed as a woman. And I do have to admit that the peace serum dare was genius, I just can't let Zeke or Uriah know that. They probably already know it, the whole compound is talking about it. I think it will be talked about for quite a long time.

"How did you get the peace serum Zeke?" I ask.

"I had to go out to Amity a few weeks ago to check their cameras for them. Anyway I got talking to the cook. Did you know they put peace serum in their bread? That's why they are so bloody happy all the time. The whole community is drugged. Anyway I asked if I could have some and he gave it to me."

"Do you have any left?" I ask.

"No, I only got the two vials. Well I got three but Shauna and I used one of them."

I just shake my head. Only Zeke!

* * *

 _HAPPY BIRTHDAY Basketball 20. I hope you have a great day;)_


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 28**

 **JEANINE POV**

"Caleb have we been able to get into the Dauntless secure files yet?" I ask. I am starting to get irritated with this situation. It has been over a week and no one in Erudite has been able to get me the information I need.

"No Jeanine. We think they have taken the files off their server."

This is not what I want to hear. I have no other way to get the information I need. Jack Kang has always had secret files at Candor but we learnt a long time ago that you can't access them. Maybe I should put him under his own truth serum, and then I could find out everything I need to know and more. I will have to keep that idea for later.

Caleb has proven to be a bigger asset than I thought he ever would. He isn't as smart as his father, which is a benefit. It has been so much easier to manipulate the truth with him. His father was always too moral for my liking. How he could leave Erudite and run off with Natalie to Abnegation still makes me sick. But now I can have my revenge, I have his son right where I want him.

I have to come up with a new plan. I don't even know if Marcus is delusional or if there is any truth to what he was saying about Tobias. I think it's time I take this to a whole new level. There must be someone out there who would like to speak about what happened. It may have been nine years ago but no one has ever forgotten what happened.

"Caleb I need to talk to the editor of the newspaper. Set up a meeting for today?"

 **TRIS POV**

I walk into the dorm room to find a group of initiates standing around Peter, who is holding a newspaper. He sees me and starts to read:

"The mass exodus of the children of Abnegation leaders cannot be ignored or attributed to coincidence. The recent transfer of Beatrice and Caleb Prior and Robert Black calls into the question the soundness of Abnegation's values and teachings. Why else would the children of such important men decide that the lifestyle that has been set out for them not be an admirable one?"

"Or are there more sinister revelations to be had? Everyone remembers the horrific murders of both Evelyn and Tobias Eaton nine years ago. It has recently come to our attention that this may not be true. What is Abnegation trying to cover up? Is Tobias Eaton still alive? Why else would there be so many defections? Do the children of our leaders hold the answers to this question and many more? How far does the corruption spread?

"Is it time to for a new government? A new system that can help lead us into prosperity and away from the poverty the city has been enduring for so many years under Abnegation."

I can't believe what I am hearing. Tobias alive? That can't be true; I watched them carry his body away. How could this be happening? I'm supposed to be trying to start a new life, with friends and freedom that I could never have before. This was supposed to lessen my guilt, my pain. I'm broken from my thoughts with Molly asking me a question.

"Is it true Stiff? Is Tobias Eaton alive? Tell everyone the truth. Are abnegation deceitful liars?"

I am so angry. I want to tear shreds from her back. I am about to launch myself at her when Christina and Will grab my arms. "Leave her, she wants this reaction," Will whispers into my ear as they drag me out of the room with Molly, Peter and Drew laughing at me as we leave.

 **FOUR POV**

I'm standing in the training room waiting for everyone to arrive. Last day of fights today. Then the initiates get a few days off. Tris has walked in with Will and Christina standing extremely close to her. It looks like both have a hand on her arms, it's not a friendly gesture like when someone has their arm linked with yours, and it looks like they are trying to hold her in place. Strange.

But then I see the look in her eyes. Tris has a fire I haven't seen before in her eyes. Not her usual alertness but an anger. I have no idea what is going on here, I will have to try and find out what this is all about. I need to get these fights underway, and then I can find out what is going on.

I turn the board around so they can all see who they are fighting today. I'm looking at Tris hoping that she can handle Molly in their fight. She has been improving but she still has a long way to go before she is a great fighter. As Tris looks at the board I see a small smile come across her face as she says something to Christina. Whatever she has said has been enough for Christina to let go of Tris's arm. Obviously Molly has something to do with what has been happening with Tris this morning.

The fights have started. Will and Myra have me yawning I am so bored. I don't expect much better from the next fight. Christina is sure to wipe the floor with Al. I still don't understand why he came to Dauntless; he is never going to fit in. Even if he was competent he doesn't have the personality. I almost feel sorry for the guy. He will be an asset in the retirement home though. He is large so he will be good for the manual labour needed. He may be a little gentle for the hard-ass Dauntless living there though.

Peter and Edward have finally started, when my dad walks in. This can't be good; he doesn't usually come into the training room while the initiates are here. He stands with me and watches the fight. It's time for Tris and Molly. They get into the ring and then my attention is taken from the fight as dad holds up a piece of paper.

As I read the paper I think I'm going to be sick. "How does she know?" I ask dad.

"Marcus I'm sure," Max says. Then it dawns on me. This is why Tris was upset this morning, she has seen this report.

"We are going to have to do something about this Four."

I knew this day was coming, ever since my Choosing Ceremony two years ago. "It's going to have to be me dad. I need to do something about it," I say.

I'm broken from my conversation with Christina and Will yelling my name. I look over to see Tris kicking the crap out of an already unconscious Molly. I run into the ring and grab her arms and pull her away from the badly beaten Molly. She tries to pull away from me and I grab her around the waist and turn her away from Molly so she can't inflict any more damage.

"Peter, Drew take Molly to the infirmary," I instruct. "Everyone you have three days off until stage two starts. I will post the rankings tomorrow night. Dismissed."

Tris tries to move and I say, "not you. We need to talk."

"Four we will talk later," dad says. I nod my head and watch as he walks out of the training room.

I let go of Tris and grab her hand. "Come on," I say while I pull her out of the training room.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

"First, we are going to go and get you some clothes. Then you are coming back to my place for a shower. Then I have something I want to show you," I say.

"Four I'm not really in the mood for this."

"I know, I saw the report. But wouldn't you like to shower in private for a change?" I say. I'm hoping a hot shower will calm her down. I have no idea what she is feeling right now. Between the revelations I might be alive and the adrenaline going through her from the fights. I am sure she is a mix of emotions. Plus I really would like to know how she is feeling about me, Tobias me not Four me.

I still don't know how to tell her that I am alive. I know I don't have to tell her ever. But if it ever did get out then she would hate me forever for not telling her. She could also hate me forever anyway. I'd rather she hate me for being truthful with her, no that isn't entirely true. I just hope she doesn't hate me at all.

* * *

I'm sitting in my apartment waiting for Tris to finish in the shower when there is a knock at my door. I open the door and Charlie is standing there.

"Four!" she yells and jumps into my arms.

"Charlie." I give her a big hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I missed you, I wanted to say hi."

Just then Tris walks into the room. "Tris," Charlie says. She wriggles out of my arms and goes and gives Tris a big hug.

"Hi Charlie," says Tris.

"Four why is Tris here?"

"What?" I ask. A little confused at the question.

"You never have pretty girls at your place," Charlie says. Tris tries not to giggle and I have gone bright red. Could I be any more embarrassed right now? I don't think so.

"You ready?" I say to Tris. Trying to get out of this as quickly as possible. Tris gives me a nod.

"ready for what?"

"That's none of your business," I say to Charlie.

"Are you going on a date?" asks Charlie. Okay this is getting embarrassing again.

"Charlie," I say. Wishing that a nine year old would understand that I am trying to tell her to shut up without actually having to tell her too.

"I don't want to go on a date with you I'm going over to Jakes to play," Charlie says.

"Have you got a boyfriend Charlie?" asks Tris.

"NO! Ewww that would be gross," she says. Tris and I both laugh.

I walk over to Tris and hold out my hand to her and pull her toward the door with Charlie following.

"I'm going to tell Zeke you were holding hands," Charlie says. And then she runs out of the apartment before I can grab her. I just shake my head. If only I could find a way to keep Charlie and Zeke apart for the next, I don't know, forever. It never ends well for me when they team up against me. They are the only two people I know who can push my buttons.

"She's cute," Tris says.

"Sometimes," I say. And we both laugh.

We walk toward the pit when Tris says, "Where are we going?"

"It's a place I go when I want to get away from everything. I thought you might like it."

We walk on a narrow path that leads to the rocks at the bottom of the chasm. I found this place not long after a came to Dauntless. I used to sit down here for hours. Not doing anything, just enjoying the sound of the water as it rushed by.

We reach the end of the path and I lead Tris over the many jagged rocks until I find the flat rock that I usually sit on. I sit down and Tris sits next to me.

"So, how are you feeling?" I ask.

"I'm okay. Not to sore from my fight," she says.

"That's not what I meant Tris."

"I know," she says.

"If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have too," I say.

"I don't know what to say Four. There are so many thoughts going through my mind but then at the same time there is nothing going through. I feel like I'm caught somewhere between numb and about to explode."

We are silent for a while. Not uncomfortably. And then she speaks again.

"I feel like I am finally starting to live again. Like the last nine years I wasn't."

I don't say anything. I can feel she is going to say more so I just wait.

"I want him to be alive, I really do. But then if I think about it I get so angry. How could he not have told me he was alive?"

"Maybe he couldn't," I say. Part of me is feeling really guilty right now. How can I keep the truth from her anymore? If only she knew how much I wanted to tell her. That I begged my dad to let me see her, that it took every ounce of my being to have not gone to her and told her the truth.

"Maybe? It's not just what I said to him though. I miss him. I miss him so much. We used to get into so much trouble. My dad couldn't understand it. Caleb was always so good, but not me. I used to love just hanging out with Tobias. We didn't even have to do anything, just go and lay in the meadow near Abnegation. Feel the wind flow over us like we were part of the meadow."

I remember those days. Usually in summer holidays when we should have been helping feeding the factionless. We would sneak off and just hide in the meadow. It was fun.

"My mum always seemed to understand. She often made up excuses for me. Caleb was always trying to get me in to trouble. I think he was jealous that Tobias and I were friends. You remind me of him," she says.

"I do?"

"Yeah. You have the same playful look in your eyes. When you know you are about to do something you shouldn't."

"Like now?" I ask.

She looks into my eyes and I lean down and I kiss her. I'm sure that look is in my eyes right now, because I know I shouldn't be doing this. She deserves the truth. But I may never get to do this again if she finds out the truth.

I don't know how it happened but Tris is sitting on my lap. We are kissing and it is definitely becoming more heated. My hands are on her back under her shirt. She has the softest skin. Then Tris pulls away from me a little.

"What's wrong?" I ask. Did I do something wrong? I have no idea, it's not like I've been in this situation before.

"Why me?"

"What?" I'm totally confused.

"Why me Four? You could have any girl in Dauntless. I don't understand why you would want to be with me," she says.

"It's only ever been you Tris," I say.

"You've only just met me Four. How could it have always been me?" she says.

"I mean." What do I mean? I mean it has always been her but I can't let her know that. "Until you jumped into the net I'd never noticed anyone else. I wasn't interested in anyone."

"But there's nothing special about me Four. I'm not pretty, I'm too skinny. I don't have anything I can offer you," she says.

"It's not about what you can offer me Tris; I don't think I even understand what you mean by that. I like you. I like the way you look. The other girls in Dauntless have never interested me, not the way you do," I say. I must sound like a complete idiot; I don't understand how she can't see how beautiful she is. But then I remember, Abnegation. There are so many things that living in Dauntless has made me forget. Especially how repressive the Abnegation are.

"I mean, I don't know how to say this. The Dauntless girls, they must let you, you know," she says.

"Tris you are the first girl I have ever kissed," I say.

"Oh, so you haven't . . . you know . . ." she says. She is blushing now.

"You mean sex?" I say. I so hope I am understanding this conversation now.

She nods.

"Tris you're the only girl I've ever thought about having sex with," I say. Then I realise what has just come out of my mouth. I can feel Tris becoming uncomfortable with the conversation.

"I mean," I say. Trying to think of the right words so she doesn't think that is all I want. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I have never been in this situation before. I know what I want. But it's not just about that. You are more than that. I know how I feel; I know how you make me feel. And that is when everything gets confusing and muddled. I can't think straight when I am with you."

"I feel the same way," she whispers.

I lift her chin so she is looking into my eyes and I say, "we can work this out together." I lean down and kiss her. Making sure it is soft and slow. Not the hungry, heavy kisses from a moment ago.

"I should get you back to the dorms," I say.

We walk back towards the dorms. When we reach the door to the dorm Tris turns to me and says, "Thank you for today."

"Tris, if you could say something to Tobias, what would it be?"

She looks me straight in the eyes and says, "I love you Tobias Eaton." It is like she knows. She has worked out I'm Tobias. Is she saying those words to me or am I reading too much into it?

I lean down so that my lips are brushing her ear and I whisper, "I love you too, Beatrice Prior."

She pulls away with a look of shock on her face and her eyes are wide.

"There you are. We were just coming to look for you," says Christina. "Come on we are going to get some dinner."

Christina pulls Tris along with her and Will. "You coming with us Four?" Will asks.

"No I've got some work I have to catch up on," I say. I stand there and watch as they walk towards the dining hall. I see Tris glance back but she is too far away for me to be able to read her expression.


	29. Chapter 29

_Thank you for all your awesome reviews. You are all amazing. Only one more sleep until Tris finds out the truth. I promise._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 29**

 **FOUR POV**

I decide to go to mum and dads' for dinner. I hope they are home. I need to talk to dad about Marcus and Tris. I don't know how I am going to tell Tris the truth. Although I'm guessing she has a pretty good idea about it now. I shouldn't have said what I did. But it's just like I told her I get so confused around her. And when she was saying those words all I could think was that she was saying them to me. Which now I have had a moment to think about it I know that is completely ridiculous.

I knock on the door and wait until dad opens it. "I thought you would come for dinner tonight. But then Charlie had an interesting story to tell me when I got home." I just shake my head as I walk into the lounge room.

"Four!" Charlie and Jed yell out at once. Charlie runs over and gives me my second hug for the day, with Jed coming after her and falling at my feet. He hasn't been walking that long and he is always falling over whenever he tries to go to quick. I pick him up and give him a big hug. Hoping it will stop the tears that usually come after he has fallen. He gives me a big smile and I smile back.

I carry them both over to the couch and flop down with them both climbing all over me. I don't get to spend enough time with them while initiation is happening. I'm usually too exhausted after training. But now I'm more emotionally exhausted than physically.

"Mum, Four has a girlfriend," Charlie calls out to mum who is in the kitchen.

"Really?" Mum pops her head out from the kitchen.

"Yep, she was at his place today, they were holding hands and everything."

"Charlie," I say.

"What? It's true. I saw you."

I grab her and start tickling her. And instead of my love life being the conversation we now get to hear Charlie laughing. Then Jed jumps onto my back so I start tickling him as well. He has such a sweet little laugh. I really love spending time with my family and it is taking away from everything else I am going to have to deal with over the next few days.

* * *

I walk down stairs after reading Charlie and Jed a story and tucking them in. Mum and dad are sitting on the couch and I go and sit with them.

"So a girlfriend?" Mum asks.

"Tris?"Dad asks.

"Yeah but I think I might have screwed it all up," I say.

Dad laughs. "What's so funny?" I ask.

"I doubt you have screwed it all up. That's just how they make you feel," he says.

"We do not," mum says with a smile on her face.

"Please, how many times did I almost screw it up with you?" he says. "Wait, don't answer that."

We all have a laugh. "So seriously, what do you think you did wrong?" Dad asks.

I tell them both about what I said outside the dorm. "She is going to hate me when she finds out the truth, that is if she hasn't already worked it out," I say.

"I don't think you're giving her much credit Four. I think she is going to be shocked, probably hurt. She will probably need some time to process all of it. But I don't think she will hate you," mum says.

"I don't even know how to tell her," I say. We all sit silent for a minute. Then mum says, "take her through your fear landscape."

"What? Am I even allowed to do that?" I ask.

"There aren't any rules about it son. It's really up to you. It might be the easiest way to explain it all," dad says.

"I don't know, I need to think about this. I mean she is in there. How is she going to cope seeing that?" I say. Mum and dad both know what my fear landscape is; I told them after I went through it. I haven't been back in there since my initiation finished. I couldn't stand watching Beatrice and I had enough of Marcus in my nightmares without torturing myself even more while I'm awake.

"Well you are going to need to make a decision soon. With these Erudite reports surfacing we have no way of knowing how Marcus is going to react," dad says.

"I wanted to talk to you about that. I think it's time," I say.

"Are you sure?" mum asks.

"Yeah. I need to face this fear head on," I say. "I'm going to need your help dad."

"Whatever you need. Just let me know how you want to do this," dad says.

"I need everything you have regarding that day," I say.

"What are you going to do?"

"I want him to back off. If I can't get him to back off then I want him to pay for what he did. I'm going to talk to Jack. See if he is available to administer some truth serum. I am hoping it won't come to that, but if it does then I want to make sure he suffers for what he put me through."

"If he goes under truth serum then the whole city will know," dad says.

"I know and I don't want that to happen. But if it has to happen that way than so be it. I chose Dauntless because I wanted to be here. So no matter what anyone thinks about what happened in my past they will know I chose Dauntless because this is my home."

"When do you want to do this?"

"I need to talk to Tris first. I will let you know."

 **MARCUS POV**

That bitch. What is she playing at putting this information into the paper for everyone to see? I wanted this done quietly. Now she is questioning all of Abnegation and our ways. I can't go and see her; she has barred anyone from Abnegation from Erudite headquarters. She is up to a lot more than she has been telling me. At least I haven't handed over any members to her for testing yet.

There is a knock at my door and Andrew is standing there. This affects him now too. What were his children playing at by defecting? Their home was probably the most loving Abnegation family I have ever witnessed. His children make me sick. They should have been given a good belt across their backs, maybe then we wouldn't have such a bloody mess on our hands.

"Andrew, how are you?"

"Marcus I was coming to ask you the same question. I am sorry for the reports that have been surfacing. It must be extremely difficult to have to relive such painful memories."

"Thank you Andrew. Yes it has been difficult. I don't understand why Jeanine would be doing such a thing." I know why she is doing it but Andrew can't know. If anyone finds out about by deal with Jeanine, I can't think like this. No one is going to find out.

"Jeanine does like to think she is superior to everyone else."

"Well I suppose we need to look at what has happened this year and see if we can't fix it. I don't know when we have ever had three traitors defect in the one year."

"I'd hardly say they are traitors Marcus. They are young and Abnegation isn't for everyone." I can see he is not happy with my description of his children. I will need to tone things down a bit; I don't want to upset people on my own council. Especially with Jeanine ready to pounce.

"Well I suppose I may have been a little harsh. I think it would be good if we weren't seen visiting any of the children on visiting day. It would be setting the wrong example."

"Well even if I wanted to see Caleb we can't get into the Erudite compound. They are not letting anyone from Abnegation in. As for keeping Natalie from visiting Beatrice. I will not ask her to stay at home. Natalie was originally from Dauntless I think she is proud of her choice."

"That is ridiculous, how can you let Natalie do this?" I am angry now. Well more angry than I already was. He should keep his wife in line. This is why they defected. Andrew is too soft, he needs more backbone.

"It is Natalie's choice Marcus. I will not interfere. Now would you like to come to dinner tonight? I would hate to think of you all alone in that house after reading that report."

"You are very kind Andrew but I wouldn't want to burden you with my problems."

"Very well Marcus, I'm leaving now. I will see you tomorrow."


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER 30**

 **FOUR POV**

"Hey dad," I say to dad as I enter his office.

"Hey. Thought anymore about what you are going to do about Tris?"

"I'm going to take her through my fear landscape tonight. Do you think this is going to look like I am giving her favourable treatment over the others? I mean her seeing a fear landscape before the others do?"

"If she is anything like her mother than no I don't think so."

"What do you mean? How do you know her mother?"

"Natalie was Dauntless. There was a rumour she was Divergent. Her mother was a leader and thought it would be better for her to defect. She was dating Andrew Prior in secret and it was back before Jeanine took over Erudite. The guy in charge of Erudite was trying to use divergents as test subjects. Natalie's mum got worried and convinced them to transfer to Abnegation."

"This is why I don't let Jeanine see our simulation results, I don't trust her. It is too easy for them to see who is divergent with our simulations. I'm not going to send my members to be lab rats for those scientists over at Erudite."

"So there is a strong possibility that Tris is divergent like her mother, you aren't going to be giving her any more of an advantage than she will already have."

"I suppose, I didn't really think of it like that."

"I think you are just trying to find a way not to have to tell her your secrets," dad says.

"Yes and no. I need to be honest with her. I know that. I just don't know how I am going to handle her reaction. I don't understand all this girl stuff. They are so confusing," I say.

Dad full on laughs at this. "That's why we love them so much. They suck us in, spit us out and we keep going back for more. I'm sure if we understood them we wouldn't be half as fascinated with them."

"Can I ask for a favour?"

"Depends?"

"Can you go down and deal with the transfers families for me? I really don't want to have to see Tris until later."

"Okay, but you owe me one. I think once initiation is over you can take your brother and sister for a weekend and give your mum and me a break."

"Deal, thanks dad."

 **TRIS POV**

I'm sitting in the dining hall with Christina, Will and Marlene. I haven't seen Four all day. I have so many questions after yesterday. Plus I was shocked to find out today that my mum was Dauntless. I would never have thought that. She has always seemed like she was born into Abnegation.

Uriah, Zeke and Shauna are next to come and sit down. Everyone is in a good mood. The transfers because they got to see someone from home and the Dauntless-born, well they always seem to be in a good mood. Must be growing up with all the freedom of being allowed to enjoy yourself. It makes me wonder how different would my life have been like if I'd been born Dauntless. Would I have wanted to transfer out if I had? Or would I have met Four when I was younger?

"Ready for the rankings?" Uriah asks.

I just shrug. I am so nervous. At least I can't be thrown out but I would like to end up in the top ten at the end of initiation. I don't really think I'd enjoy working in the retirement village, too many years helping others in Abnegation. Plus you need to be retested if you don't make it into the top ten.

"We'll be right Tris," Christina says. I wish I had her confidence.

"We should go and get our rankings," says Will. Christina, Will and I stand and wave bye to the others.

* * *

We are about to walk into the dorm to get our rankings when I see Four walking out. He must have already posted the rankings.

"Hi," he says. "I really need to talk to you."

"I was just going to see my ranking," I say.

"Come on, I can tell you about your ranking on the way," he says grabbing my hand and leading me away from the dormitory. I wave to Christina and Will and follow Four.

"So what was my ranking?" I ask.

"You're ranked sixth. Don't stress about it. You can always improve and it's not like you are going to be kicked out."

"Not yet anyway," I say.

He stops us in front of a room; I don't even know where we are as I was taking no notice on our way here.

"Don't think like that. You are going to pass Tris; you will be in the top ten. I believe in you."

"Where are we?"

"This is the fear landscape room," he says.

"What are we doing here?"

"I have some stuff I need to tell you. But I don't really know how to explain it so I thought it would be better if I just showed you."

"In stage two you will have to go through fear simulations. Basically you will have to face your fears. Once stage two is finished there is one final test. Here in this room. This is the fear landscape room. This is stage three of training. In your fear landscape you will go through all of your fears in one go. You will be aware that it is a simulation."

"You want me to go through my fear landscape?" I ask. A little confused at why he would want me to do this now.

"No Tris. I want you to go through my fear landscape," he says.

"Are you sure?"

"No. But there are things I need you to know. Things that I don't really know how to put into words."

I don't know how to feel about this. I've heard the rumours that he only has Four fears, that he is a Dauntless prodigy. I am intrigued to see what these four fears are but I am getting this feeling that I am not going to be happy with what these four fears will mean for us.

* * *

I've just seen Fours' first two fears. Heights and seeing his family die. Watching Charlie and Jed get killed was the most horrific image I have ever seen. But I can see from the look on Fours' face that for him there is so much more to come. I can't imagine what I am about to see and the feeling I got before we went into the simulation is back.

We are now standing in an Abnegation house. What am I doing back in Abnegation? A circle of light envelopes us, and at its edge, I see worn gray shoes pacing. Marcus Eaton steps into the edge of the light, but not the Marcus that I remember. This one has pits for eyes and a gaping black maw instead of a mouth.

Another Marcus stands beside him, and slowly, all around the circle, more and more monstrous versions of him step forward and surround me. The first Marcus undoes his belt and slides it out from around his waist; the other Marcus's do the same. I can't believe what I am seeing. Does this mean that Four is Tobias? And what the hell does Marcus have his belt off for?

"This is for your own good," they all say as they go to hit Four with their belts. "NO!" I yell and push Four out of the way and hold up my arm to take the impact of the belt. Just as the belts are about to impact with my arms the scene changes

We are in the training room now. Four is sitting on the ground and there is a small girl screaming at him. I walk closer and I see it is me. Not me now but me from when I was seven, then I hear the words. The words that have haunted me for the last nine years. The words I now know have haunted him as well. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Why didn't you tell me you were alive," my younger self is screaming at him. I walk up to me and I say, "Stop." It is barely a whisper but she hears me. She turns and looks at me and then she is gone.

The lights come on and we are back in the fear landscape room. I feel like I can't breathe. Four is breathing heavily and his head is bowed like he can't face me. I'm glad I can't see his face at the moment. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to put my arms around him and tell him I don't hate him. Another part of me wants to scream at him just like my seven year old self did. And another part of me can't believe that Marcus could have ever done that to Tobias.

I remember how I felt when I saw the stretcher with his body covered in a sheet on it. I remember the guilt I felt. I remember the emptiness I had felt. That the only wish I had was that I could see him one last time. That I could talk to him one more time. But now I have the opportunity I don't move, I can't move. We both sit there together but apart for a long time. Fours' breathing has started to calm down but it is by no means back to normal.

I know I still have tears falling from my eyes. I can't seem to stop them. Do I want them to stop? I'm not sure really. Do I wish I could go back to last night, sitting by the chasm? When all I had to worry about was why would Four like me. He may have thought it would be easier to show me what he wanted me to know. But I don't think that this has been easy on either of us. If I could curl into a ball right now and go to sleep I would.

"Tris," he says. "We need to get out of here."

He pulls me up and he grabs my hand and we walk out of the fear landscape room. There are no words spoken we just keep walking. We reach his apartment and he lets go of my hand to unlock the door. I have no idea what we are doing but I also don't have the energy to fight him. I'm too tired from everything that has just happened.

We walk inside and he shuts the door. He grabs my hand and we walk up the stairs and into his bedroom. "Tobias do you think we should be here?" I ask.

He doesn't answer me. He still hasn't spoken since we left the fear landscape room. He pulls me onto the bed and into his embrace. He curls his body around me with my back to his chest and he has his arms wrapped tightly around my body. Not too tight, but tight enough that I feel cocooned by his much larger body. He rests his head in my hair and he cries. It is the most heart braking sound I have ever heard and the only thing I can do is cry with him.

I'm crying for him and the little boy who lost so much. I'm crying for the little girl who thought it was her fault her best friend had been taken away. And I'm crying for us because I don't know what this means for us. Does he forgive me? Can I forgive him? Are we strong enough to move on? I don't get to answer any of my own questions before I am taken away by sleep.

* * *

 _I cried while writing the last few paragraphs of this chapter. I wrote it over two weeks ago and it took me a long time to start writing again after I had finished it. So I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I may have cried but I am proud of what I have come up with. You might not like it and that is okay too. Just remember that they were really young when their worlds were thrown upside down by an evil Marcus. Now they are hormonal teenagers trying to deal with their pasts and present. I hope I have portrayed this well._

HotaruBia Good luck I hope you did well in your exam ;)


	31. Chapter 31

_Thank you all so much for your reviews on chapter 30. Wow I was blown away, you are all just so awesome. I would like to give a shout out to **FourTris Lover (Guest),** thank you for your poem I loved it! Your reviews help me to keep writing. So please keep reviewing and following the story. _

* * *

**CHAPTER 31**

 **FOUR POV**

I wake up and find that Tris is still in my arms. I can see by the clock on my nightstand that it is just after ten in the morning. We have slept almost twelve hours. I am so glad that I finally got to show her the truth but there is so much more that needs to be said. I still feel heavy from all the emotion of yesterday. I'm not ready to face the day but I know I need too. We both do.

I feel Tris start to stir and I see her eyes flutter open. "Hi," I say. I don't even know how to start the conversation. Do I want to start the conversation? Can I just lie here just a little bit longer without having to deal with the reality of everything that has happened?

"Hi," she says.

We just lay here together. No words, no tears. I don't think I have any left to shed. If I could stop time just once in my life it would be right now. Why now? Because my secrets are out, my secrets are out to the only person I ever wanted to know them. Nine years I have waited to be able to tell her I'm alive. I don't think even I realised how much of a burden I had made it into. But now I have to deal with the reality of everything. Being in this silence with her is as close as I could imagine perfect to be. Because once words are spoken the magical spell is going to be broken and we will have to deal with the past head on.

"Tobias," she whispers. "I don't have words at the moment. I don't know what to say and I don't know how I feel."

"I don't either Tris," I say. "I didn't realise just how emotional this was going to be."

"We can't stay here all day."

"We could try," I say.

"I need some space, I need some time to think," she says. And as much as I don't want to let her go right now, I know I need too.

I hear a knock on the front door. Who could be bothering me this morning? Isn't everyone at work? Then I hear the door open and I know who it is. I let out a groan and say to Tris, "get ready for it."

Next thing Charlie comes bursting into my bedroom and leaps up onto the bed with Tris and I. She starts jumping up and down like she has always done not even bothered with the fact that Tris is here with me.

"Four it's nearly lunchtime. What are you doing in bed?" Hi Tris," she says while still jumping on the bed.

"Come here you," I say as I grab her and start tickling her. "You really are a pain. Shouldn't you be at school?"

"It's Saturday silly," she says while she laughs.

Tris gets up and says, "I really should get going. Christina is going to wonder where I am."

"Can I walk with you? Me and mum are going for ice cream in the pit. Do you want to come Four? You and Tris could come with us."

"Another time. I'm having a meeting with dad."

"You're always working Four. You need to have more fun," Charlie says. "Tris could help you have more fun."

"Come on Charlie, let's let your brother get ready for his meeting," Tris says. Tris turns and looks at me and I know I'm not going to like what I'm about to hear.

"I need time to process this," she says.

"I understand," I say. I don't like it but I do understand. I don't even know what to say to her right now. Maybe time is what I need too.

"Come on Tris!" Charlie shouts from downstairs.

"Bye," she says. And before I can answer she has left the room and I hear the front door close. I lie back down on the bed. Feeling just a little deflated.

* * *

I must have fallen back asleep. I wake to see it is dark outside. I've slept for almost a day and I still feel tired. I really should get up but I just don't feel like it. I know I'm hungry but I don't want food. I feel numb. I don't really understand why. I feel like I need to see Tris. I know she said she needed time to process everything but I need to know she doesn't hate me. I need to know everything is going to be okay.

I have a shower and grab my keys and walk out of the apartment. I'll go to the dining hall first maybe I'll get lucky and Tris will be there. I am walking past mum and dad's when the door opens.

"I was just coming to check on you," dad says. "I have that file for you and no one has seen you since this morning. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I just needed to think," I say.

"Okay well you know where I am if you need anything. Here's all the information you need on Marcus. You need to know it has photos of your injuries and the injuries Evelyn received also."

"Thanks," I say. "I'm just going to go and grab something to eat. I'll talk to you later."

I don't really feel like talking to dad or anyone at the moment. I drop the file back at my place and head into the dining hall. Everyone is still at our table eating dinner, including Tris. I walk over and sit down.

"where have you been all day?" Zeke asks.

"Home," I say.

"What are you doing tomorrow? We were thinking of going zip lining again," he says.

"No thanks. I have work stuff I need to do." I don't but there is no way I'm going zip lining. Not now not ever.

"dude, you never come," whines Zeke.

"Just drop it Zeke. I won't be there."

Zeke gets the hint and he starts a conversation with Uriah about what time they are going to meet tomorrow. This gives me a chance to talk to Tris.

"How are you?" I ask.

"I'm tired. I don't know if it's because stage one is finished or if it's everything else," she says.

"It's probably both, it's been an intense few weeks," I say.

"Four I have questions."

"Do you want to go back to my place and talk?" I ask. I hope she says yes. I want us to get back to where we were before last night. I want to be able to get past this. Whatever this is. Because at the moment I feel like we are nowhere and I can't shake this feeling that we aren't going to be where I had hoped we would be anytime soon.

She nods.

"Who wants to go for a drink by the chasm?" Zeke asks.

"Sounds good bro, let's do it," says Uriah. The rest of the group all decide they are going to as well. Tris has stayed silent as have I.

"Tris you coming?" asks Christina.

"I'll meet you there, I have something I want to do first," Tris replies. This seems to be enough for Christina and they all get up.

"Four, what about you?" Shauna asks.

"Yeah, I've gotta go and see Tori then I'll be with you," I say. I don't have to see Tori but I need some sort of excuse. There are going to be too many questions about Tris and I and I don't want to talk about it.

Tris has got up to leave, she is going to leave first and then I will follow when I see Peter stop Tris. "I know you are banging our instructor Tris. Do you really think that's the fairest way to get into Dauntless?" he says.

"I think you should be more concerned about yourself getting into Dauntless Peter," I say.

I can see the shock on his face he didn't see me coming up behind him.

"Oh well, I just meant –"

"It doesn't matter what you meant Peter. If you have a problem with rankings then you come and see me or maybe you would like to go in front of all five leaders. Explain to them what you meant," I say.

"No Four. I'm good, it's all good," he says. Little weasel, I am going to have to watch him. I thought the fact we wouldn't be kicking anyone out of Dauntless this year would mean that we wouldn't have to worry about initiates bullying each other. Seems Peter has a different agenda.

* * *

We get to my apartment and we go inside. Tris goes and sits on the couch while I go into the kitchen to get some drinks. I walk back out and I see her holding a picture from the file dad gave me. She has tears in her eyes and a look of shock on her face.

"Is that what he did to you?" she asks. Turning the photo so I can see it. This is the first time I have seen the photo. The photos must have come out of the folder when I threw it on the coffee table earlier. I look at the photo and it is a picture of me lying on my stomach in the hospital bed when I first came to Dauntless. My back is totally ripped to shreds and I have wires and tubes coming out of different parts of my body.

I grab the photo from her and say, "you shouldn't be looking at that Tris."

"Tobias," she says. But she doesn't say anything else.

"It's okay Tris. I know."

"I just," she starts. "I need answers. I feel like I have the start of the story and I have the end but the in between –"

I understand what she is saying. I need to fill in the blanks. "How did I not know he was doing this to you?" she asks.

"It didn't happen often, not at first. He used to take his frustration out on Evelyn," I say.

"Evelyn? Your mum Evelyn. So is she dead or did she escape him too?"

"Yeah she is alive but I'll get to her later. Marcus had beaten her for a long time, at first it wasn't in front of me. But I would see the bruises the next day or would see that she wasn't moving normally. She started to spend less time at home. She would say she was volunteering somewhere or helping a neighbour. Normal stuff for Abnegation. Then she wouldn't come home over night. That is when Marcus got suspicious of her."

"He started following her. I didn't know where she was going but I kept wishing she was at home. Marcus would make me cook him dinner. I could hardly reach the stove and he enjoyed punishing me for any mistake. Especially when it was from ruining his dinner."

"Marcus had started drinking. I don't know where he got it from because no one else in Abnegation drank. That is when he was at his worst. Those ten days after we argued where the worst days of my life. Evelyn didn't come home for three days straight. He kept me locked in the hall closet and only let me out to cook for him. I had to sneak food when he wasn't looking or he wouldn't let me eat. Once Evelyn got back he seemed to calm down a little. But that only lasted two days."

"They got into a huge fight, all I remember is yelling. I didn't understand what they were fighting about. I was allowed back into my bedroom at this stage so I could hear him beating her. I was too scared to leave my room. I was frightened that when he finished with her he would come and start on me. But he didn't, not that night anyway. He left the house only to come back a few hours later with a lot more alcohol."

"The next morning he came and dragged me out of my bedroom to make his breakfast. I could smell the alcohol on him. I dared to ask him where Evelyn was and he smacked me across the room. I don't remember anything after that. It wasn't until I woke up in the Dauntless infirmary that I found out what had happened. They didn't tell me but I heard the doctor talking to dad. I was found locked in a cupboard, I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink in days. Marcus had beaten me continuously. He had done the same to Evelyn."

"How did they find you?" asks Tris. She has tears falling down her face.

"Evelyn was having an affair with Max. When he hadn't heard from her he got worried. He knew that Marcus had hit her before but he didn't realise just how evil he was. He came to check and found us. He had just become leader and so he knew the right people who could help."

"Where is Evelyn now?"

"Factionless. Evelyn was pregnant with Charlie when we came here. On Charlies' second birthday she announced she was leaving and she just left me and Charlie with Max. I was so scared he wouldn't want me but he told Evelyn she couldn't have me or Charlie. I have so much to thank him for. He saved my life and then he took me in and has treated me like I was his own ever since. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him. He started seeing Sasha and eventually they got married. She has been awesome; she adopted both Charlie and me. And then last year they had Jed."

We just sit here not saying a word. Not that I would expect her to say anything but then she says, "I saw them take your body out of the house."

"What?" I didn't know that. I can't believe she had to witness any of what had happened to me.

"I didn't actually see your body. Just the outline under the sheet. They took you and Evelyn out on stretches with sheets over you. We had been walking home, mum, dad, Caleb and me. I remember I was hoping that I would see you because I hadn't seen you in over a week and every time I would walk past your house I would hope that I would see you. So I could apologise. But I didn't, I thought you must have still been upset with me. Which seems so stupid now. And then I saw you and I was hysterical. They had to get the doctor to come to our house to sedate me."

I move over and I give her a hug. She hasn't stopped crying since I started telling her what had happened. I have tears falling as well. I can't believe that one evil mans actions could affect so many other people's lives.

Once she has calmed down I ask, "do you want to stay here tonight?" I know what her answer is going to be but I need to give her the option to stay. I know we have more to talk about but I am spent. I need rest and I know she does too.

"No. Peter is going to start causing me trouble if I'm not seen sleeping in the dorm."

"I can handle him," I say.

"I need some space Tobias. This has been a lot to take in. I need time to process it all."

I don't try to argue with her. I think I need space too. I haven't spoken about any of this in years. I never wanted to speak about it. I always avoided it whenever they had tried to make me. Dad never pressured me thank goodness. I can see now that I probably did need to speak to someone about it but I wasn't ready before. Plus I was a kid and I don't think I could have processed what it all meant back then. I think what got me through it until now was having such a loving family around me. Dad and later on mum, they made me feel safe and that is what I needed to feel more than anything. Safe.


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER 32**

 **TRIS POV**

I'm lying on my bed in the dorm, I can hear the others breathing and the occasional person stirring on their bed. The last few days have been emotionally draining for me. I don't feel like sleeping, my mind is wide awake and I keep going over everything that has happened. Not just Tobias but initiation. I never knew it would be this tough. There is also the fun to be had here in Dauntless. I never could have imagined having friends, playing crazy games, laughing so much that I thought I would have a permanent stomach ache from the strain.

I've been trying not to think of Tobias but all my thoughts keep coming back to him no matter how much I try to think of other things that have happened. From the moment I landed on the net I felt a connection with him, even without knowing who he was. Then I think of the game of dare and that first kiss. This makes me smile; I don't think I'd ever been that nervous in all of my life. Then I remember Tobias saying how I slapped him when we kissed when we were little.

I have to stop myself from laughing at the thought of that kiss. We were supposed to be helping my mum at the sorting centre. We went down to the sorting centre and made sure my mum saw us then we snuck out the back door and hid between the old crates and boxes. Tobias said if they caught us we could say we were looking for more boxes. We hid between the boxes and talked.

We were talking about which faction we wished we were in. I told him I would have liked to be Dauntless. I loved how the kids were always running somewhere. I loved the way they jumped off the trains. Tobias wasn't sure which faction he would like but he told me that he would want to go wherever I was. Then he turned and kissed me, I remember how shocked I was, we weren't even allowed to hold hands and he had kissed me. I slapped him across the face and ran all the way home.

I got in so much trouble when mum got home because I was supposed to be at the centre and instead she had found me at home. I would hate to think how much trouble I would of been in if she knew Tobias had kissed me. Or that I had slapped him. It seems funny now when I think about it. For so long thinking of Tobias only made me sad but now everything has changed.

I have only been in Dauntless a few weeks but so much has happened. I knew I was falling for Four and then it turns out he is Tobias. Tobias. I'm glad he is alive I really am but now I don't know what to think. Yes I have feelings for him. I just don't know if I should show those feelings. He left me once before, would he leave again?

I am broken from my thoughts when I here shuffling shoes across the room. What is someone doing up at this hour. Then there is a heavy thud. Before I can think about what is happening a blood curdling wail comes from where I heard the shoes only a moment before. I jump from my bed but it is too dark to see what is happening. Then another scream pierces my ears.

The lights come on and I see Edward lying on the floor next to his bed. Surrounding his head is a halo of blood and jutting from his clawing fingers is a butter knife, like the ones used in the dining hall. The blade is stuck in his eye.

I walk over to Edward and crouch down beside his head. I put my hands on his shoulders and I say, "lie still." Edward is still thrashing around so I say louder with more force, "I said, lie still and breathe." I can't hear the screams from Myra anymore, I feel calm and I know I need to try and calm Edward too.

"Take it out!" he yells. "Get it out, get it out!"

"Edward," I say. I'm trying to get him to focus his attention on me and not the knife. "You have to let the doctor take it out. Edward are you listening to me?"

"It hurts," he sobs.

"I understand. Just breathe, we are getting help," I say. I hope someone has gone for help. I don't know how long I can keep myself calm. And I don't know how long I can keep Edward from ripping the knife out from his eye.

It is only a few minutes although it feels a lot longer and the nurse arrives. She asks me to step back while she assesses the situation. Will and Al help her to carry Edward to the infirmary and Myra follows closely behind.

I stand up and find that I am covered in blood. It is all over my pants from kneeling in Edward's blood on the floor. It is covering my hands and there are blobs of blood on my top that have dripped there from my hands. I feel revolting. Not only from the blood that I feel I am covered in but from the sight I have just witnessed. I can't believe someone would do this. I look around and see that the only people not here other than the group that went to the infirmary are Peter and Drew.

Christina walks over to me and motions for me to walk towards the showers. She has a change of clothes in her hand. I am assuming they are for me. There are no words spoken, I wouldn't know what to say and I think this is the first time I have seen Christina without words.

I get into the shower and scrub myself clean. It doesn't matter how hard I scrub I still feel like I am covered in blood. I know it's all gone but I can still smell the metallic blood smell, I almost feel like I can taste it. I get out of the shower and put on the clean clothes that Christina gave me. We walk back into the dorm and the smell is stronger in here.

I grab as many paper towels as I can and I walk over to where Edward had been laying and I start to clean the blood off the floor. Christina keeps going and getting me more paper towels as I mop the mess up. Will and Al walk back into the dorm just as I am finishing.

"How is he?" I ask.

"It doesn't look good. They said he will lose his eye," Will says.

I shake my head. Why would Peter and Drew want to do such a thing? I know Peter isn't a very nice person but I could never have predicted that he would act this way. I also know that Drew would do whatever Peter told him to do. So It was definitely Peters' idea.

"You know who did that, right?" Says Christina.

"Yeah," I say.

"We need to tell someone," Al says.

"We may know who did it. But we can't prove who did it," I say. "It was pitch black, until they turned the lights on you couldn't see anything."

"It doesn't seem right," Christina says.

"Your Candor is showing," says Will. Normally we would probably all laugh at this but we all can only manage half smiles.

 **FOUR POV**

I'm woken by a loud banging on my front door. I know something serious is wrong. It is the middle of the night and no one would be visiting at this time of night unless it was serious. I open my door to see Zeke standing there. "This better not be one of your dares Zeke," I say.

"Dude even I'm not that crazy to wake you in the middle of the night for a game of dare," He says.

"What's wrong?" I ask. My first thoughts go to Tris.

"Your initiate Edward. There has been an accident."

"What type of accident?"

"He has been stabbed; they have taken him to the infirmary."

I have never understood how we define an accident. How is being stabbed an accident? "Thanks Zeke, I'll go and check it out," I say.

"No problem, I've got to get back to the control room. Later man."

"Bye Zeke."

* * *

I decide to check that the other initiates are alright first. I walk into the dormitory and all the lights are on. The place looks deserted. I see Molly lying on her bed; she looks like she is asleep without a care in the world. Heartless bitch is the first thought that comes to my mind. I turn and see Christina standing in the door way to the showers. "Are you alright?" I ask her.

"I'm fine," she says. She sees me looking around and answers my question before I can ask it. "Tris is in the shower. She was helping Edward and got blood all over her."

"Okay. I need to get to the infirmary. If she needs anything tell her where she can find me," I say.

She nods and I turn and rush out the door.

I am just about to open the door to the infirmary when Will and Al walk out.

"Are you guys alright?" I ask.

"Yeah, we're fine Four. We just helped the nurse bring Edward here. Myra is in the waiting room," Will says motioning his head towards the door. "It doesn't look good, I heard them saying something about he will lose his eye."

"Thanks. Go and try to get some rest," I say. I walk past them and into the infirmary.

I walk through the door and I see Myra sitting in a chair in the waiting room. Her face is stained with tears and her eyes are blood shot.

"Myra," I say. I don't really know what to say to her. I have probably had less to do with her than my other initiates.

"Four. They are making me wait our here and I don't know what's going on," she says.

"Stay here and I will see what I can find out."

I walk over to the nurses' station but there is no one at the desk. I decide to walk into the infirmary and see if I can get some answers. As I am walking down the hall way it hits me that seven of the nine initiates are accounted for. It makes me wonder where are Peter and Drew. Could they have had something to do with this?

I walk into a room and can see Edward lying on a bed with doctors and nurses working on him. Alice one of the nurses comes over to me. "Four we are about to take him into surgery. He is going to lose his eye," she says.

"Thanks Alice," I say. "Alice his girlfriend is in the waiting room, she is pretty upset. Do you think when you are finished here you could have a look at her? Just make sure she is okay." I'm sure she is anything other than okay at the moment but I'd still like her to get checked out.

"I will Four," Alice says. "There isn't anything else you can do here. He won't be awake until morning, maybe not to around lunch time, you may as well go home Four."

"Thanks Alice, I'll check back later," I say.

I walk back out and go and sit with Myra until Alice comes and gets her. I explained to her that he was having surgery. I didn't go into any details; I leave that to the doctors to let her know. She is already so upset. At least I know that Alice will look after her. Alice was the nurse that looked after me when I first came to Dauntless. She was like an angel to me. I found out years later that she worked the three weeks straight that I was in here. She was there every day so that I would have a familiar face looking after me. I'm really glad she will look after Myra because there is no one better to give her the support she needs while waiting for news on Edward.

* * *

I walk past the dormitory but I can see the lights are out. I really want to go and see Tris but there has been enough disturbance in there for one night. Better to let all the initiates try and get some sleep. I make my way up to my office. I send the other leaders a message telling them what has happened. I explain that Edward is in surgery and I will have the matter investigated tomorrow. There is no use waking anyone else up tonight, there is nothing that can be done. So I finish my message and head home to bed.


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER 33**

 **FOUR POV**

We can't prove that it was Peter or Drew who stabbed Edward. Other than putting all the initiates under truth serum we have nothing we can do. I talked to Jack at Candor and he said that they couldn't put Peter and Drew under the truth serum without putting all the initiates through the process and he couldn't justify this, especially when the victim is going to live. This frustrates me; I am just going to have to watch Peter more closely. Edward will be able to stay in Dauntless. He may not be able to have employment in protection but there are plenty of positions he will be able to hold.

I've just finished filling in the final paperwork concerning the case when I see dad standing at my door.

"Hey," I say.

"Got a minute?" he asks.

"Sure what's up?"

"We had some trouble in the factionless sector last night. Two Erudite's tried to kidnap a woman and take her back to Erudite. Our patrol team were able to stop them. They brought them back here for questioning but something happened during the night in the holding cells," dad says.

"What happened?"

"The guards left them in the cells and when they went to check on them this morning they were both dead. Simon seems to think they took some sort of poison. He is running tests now but it will be a few days before we get the results back. That's if we even get the correct results back, the tests have to go to Erudite so I am concerned that they will try and keep the results from us."

"I need you to go and speak to Evelyn. Find out what she may know. She won't talk to me. I think you have more chance of getting information out of her than I ever will," dad says.

"I don't know that I'll be able to get anything out of her, she abandoned me without a second thought. She only thinks of herself," I say.

"I know but you may be the only person she will say anything too. It's the only chance we have, if Erudite are willing to sacrifice their own for whatever they are doing than it is a lot more serious than we could have imagined."

"I'll go. I will do it now, the sooner I get it over with the better," I say. Between Evelyn and Marcus you would think that now I'm an adult they wouldn't be able to work their way back into my life. But they both seem to be doing that lately. It is harder dealing with Evelyn, part of me is grateful for her and the other hates her for what she did to me and Charlie. With Marcus it is just hate, a lot less complicated to deal with.

* * *

I reach the factionless sector, I have been here before. The Dauntless patrols have been informed that I am here, in case there is trouble. I don't think there will be any but better safe than sorry. I walk into the warehouse that I know Evelyn resides in. I am met inside the warehouse by Therese.

"What do you want?" she asks.

"I need to see Evelyn," I tell her.

"Maybe she doesn't want to see you," she says.

"I don't have time for games, either take me to her or I will find her myself," I say.

"Fine, you broke her heart when you didn't come and join us you know," she says.

"I didn't know she had a heart," I say. I can see Evelyn up ahead so I quickly walk away from Therese; I'm not in the mood for what she has to say today. Evelyn is only after what will benefit her, I know that, these people may see her as their saviour but she isn't mine, not anymore.

"Evelyn," I call.

She turns and when she sees me a smile comes across her lips. I don't smile back; I don't have smiles for her anymore, not for a very long time. "Tobias," she says. I hate her calling me by my name. The only person who has that right is Tris. I hadn't thought about it until now but ever since Tris found out who I was she has been calling me Tobias. And she is the only person I want to call me by tmy real name. I didn't even ask her too. It just happened.

"My name is Four, I would appreciate if you called me Four, Evelyn," I say.

"I am your mother and I will call you by the name I gave you Tobias," she says.

"You gave that right up a long time ago, so don't try and play the mother card now," I say. When Max asked her to let Sasha adopt both Charlie and me she didn't hesitate to give up her parental rights. I know I need to calm down, I need information out of her and I'm sure I'm not going to get it while I am being this hostile. It seems she can bring the worst out in me.

"Tobias did you really come here to fight?" she asks.

"No," I say.

"What do you want?"

"We picked up two Erudite trying to take one of the factionless last night. We need information Evelyn, what do they want with the factionless?"

"Why should I tell you? How will it help me?" she asks.

Dad is right she is always thinking of herself. "This isn't about helping you Evelyn; this is about keeping your people safe."

"I'm not sure; it seems they are only approaching people that they think are divergent. But I can't be completely sure about it. "

"Do you know what they want with them?"

"No. They come down here and offer food and clothing but only to a select few. Last night was the first time that I heard anything about it. I had been told that a few people had gone missing by Max but the factionless are secretive. They may trust me with some information but they don't openly tell you their business," she says.

"Well then maybe you should find a way for them to be more open," I say.

"You could join us Tobias," she says.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Obviously something big is happening. You could come here and help me lead these people. Help me to overthrow the factions. Let us all live equally," she says.

"I'm happy where I am Evelyn. I already have a leadership position. I don't have any inclination to betray my family for you," I say.

"I am your family Tobias. I'm your real family," she says.

"No you're not Evelyn. You stopped being anything to me the day you left. I meant what I said to you that day. My feelings haven't changed and my name is Four," I say. This conversation isn't getting me anywhere. I turn and start to walk away.

"You will regret this Tobias. I will make sure you regret this," she yells out to me. I don't turn; I don't even acknowledge that I have heard her. I just keep walking.

* * *

I walk back into the Dauntless compound. I'm tired the last few days feel like they have been an emotional rollercoaster. We haven't even started the fear simulations yet and I already feel like my nerves are on edge from everything that has been happening. I go up to my apartment to take a shower. I always feel like I need a shower after being in the factionless sectors. Even more so after seeing Evelyn. She has this way of making me feel dirty, like it is my fault she chose to become factionless. I know it isn't true but it is just how she makes me feel.

Being in the factionless sectors always makes me wonder what I did wrong that my own mother would want to live there instead of here with us. Was I that bad of a child that she needed to get away from me? I don't think I will ever know or understand her reasoning behind why she has done what she has done. She reminds me more of Marcus now, both seem to like to hold the power. They both want to control the world. Am I any different? I became a leader just like they both have. But then I think of Max and he is a leader. He doesn't want to rule the world he just wants to help his faction. I hope I am more like Max than Evelyn or Marcus.

* * *

I decide to go down to the dining hall for dinner. It would be really good to see Tris, I don't know where we stand but after the day I have had just seeing her is sure to make me feel better. I walk in and see that the whole gang is at the table.

"You can't just take my cake Uriah, you could at least ask. Or get up and get your own," says Christina.

"But -," says Uriah.

"Ah ah," Christina says. Shaking a finger at him. Everyone is laughing.

"Where have you been?" Zeke asks.

"Factionless," I say.

"We all went zip lining this afternoon," he says. "What were you doing in factionless?"

"We have had to patrol the area more lately," says Shauna.

"Just trouble with faction members going into the factionless sectors. Nothing to worry about," I say. My friends don't need the worry of what may be happening outside our faction.

I can feel Tris staring at me. She knows that is where Evelyn is. I look at her and she mouths 'are you okay'. I nod. It's not something I want to discuss in the dining hall. I start to eat my dinner just listening to the chatter and laughter around me. It sounds like everyone is still on a buzz from zip lining and I am happy to just listen and not have to be part of the conversation. Slowly the group starts to split as they finish their dinner and go do whatever they have planned for tonight. There is only Christina, Will, Al and Tris left.

Christina wants to get a new tattoo. Christina, Will and Al get up to leave. "Tris are you coming with us?" Al asks.

He has the biggest crush on her but she doesn't realise it. "I'll catch up," she tells him.

"How are you really Tobias?" she says.

"I'm tired Tris. It's been a long day," I say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks. I shake my head; I don't really feel like talking about Evelyn at the moment. "Did you see her?"

I just nod. "You're not telling me much here," she says.

"What do you want me to say Tris? What about you? Are you ready to talk yet?" I snap at her.

"I told you I need time."

"Maybe that's what I need too," I say. I really just want to drag her bag to my apartment and spend time with her, just hold her, really I'd like it if she would just hold me. It has been a really shitty day but I know I can't have any of that until we work out where we stand.

"You look like you need to talk about it," she says.

"How would you know that? Maybe it's not Evelyn I need to talk about, maybe it's you I want to talk about," I say with just a little to much venom in my voice.

"And I need some time. I told you that. Why is it so important that we talk right now? I think you are trying to avoid the talk about Evelyn so you are turning this onto me," she says.

"Maybe, but how long am I supposed to wait until you're ready?" I know I'm being pushy. I know what she has said is right but I want to know that Tris and I are okay or that we will be.

"Do you really want to know how I feel Four?" she asks. I nod, I don't like that she is all of a sudden using Four and not Tobias.

"I'm angry. I'm angry at you. I'm angry at me. I'm just angry, I need time," she says. I can hear the anger in her voice as she gets up quickly from her chair letting it scrape loudly along the floor and walks out of the dining hall. I know I've just blown it. I know I shouldn't have pushed her. But I can't help myself; I forget all reasoning when she is near me. I just want to be able to hold her; I want to say she is mine. I don't think that will be happening now. I shouldn't have pushed. I should have let it go; I'm too emotional to deal with any of it anyway. I shouldn't have pushed.


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER 34**

 **MAX POV**

I'm sitting in my office when Lauren comes running in. I don't remember ever having Lauren in my office before. She usually deals with Four.

"Max, I'm in trouble I've made a terrible mistake," she says.

I look up and see she has tears coming down her face. Lauren has always been one of the toughest women I know. That is why she is so good at training the Dauntless-born initiates.

"Lauren what seems to be the problem?" I ask.

"I did something really stupid last night and I think it may compromise our security system," she says.

"Tell me what happened," I say.

"I got hammered last night. I was in Dauntless Nights with some girlfriends and Eric came in. He started buying me drinks and well I took him back to my place. When I woke up this morning he was gone. Thank goodness. But so was my security pass and it looks like he has gone through my files and found my password as well."

"You keep your password written down?"

"Not my everyday password but the password I have for the secure files yes. I don't have to use it that often and so I keep it written down. Now with all the security upgrades and the fact that we are changing our passwords once a month I needed to write it down."

"Okay, I am going to have Four take you off the system temporarily. I want to see what Eric is up to. I need to catch him in the act. Don't tell anyone about this. I want Eric to think he has gotten away with this. Do you understand?" She nods.

"I will have Four give you some other type of log in, I don't know how it all works, he will fix it up for you and let you know what it is about. That way you can enter all your initiates' results. Now I want you to keep a low profile for a few days. I will help Four out with simulations. I won't need you back until we are ready for the initiates to go through your fear landscape, ok?"

"Thanks Max. I am so sorry," she says.

"Don't worry about it. We have all done stupid crap while we have been drunk. I don't know what is more embarrassing, the fact you took Eric home or that he stole your security pass."

* * *

I walk down to the control room to see Gus. I am going to need to put an alert out on Laurens' security card and I need to know that the cameras are working outside the server room.

"Gus," I say as I enter the control room.

"Max, good to see you. What do you need?"

"I need you to put an alert on a security card. I need to know if and when it is used. I will need you to send alerts to myself, the four other leaders and also to the head of security. I also need you to make sure that the cameras are working in and around the server room. I also need you to have those cameras continuing recording what is going on. It is extremely important," I say.

"Not a problem. I can have that all done for you," he says.

"Now are we able to track a member while they are in the compound?"

"Yes, we have facial recognition software. Four made me install it two months ago."

"Excellent. I want you to track two people for me. I need it done around the clock. Have you got someone who you can trust with this? I don't want this information getting out," I say.

"Yes. Just tell me who and I will set it up."

 **FOUR POV**

The initiates might have the day off but I still have to work. Everything is set up for the fear simulations to start tomorrow but I still need to enter all the information from stage one into the computers. I also have a stack of work that is in my in tray to do.

There is a knock at my door and I look up to see dad enter my office. He sits in the chair opposite my desk. He is looking as tired as I feel. "Bad day?" I ask.

"I have taken Lauren off the fear simulations, I am going to have to help you with them," he says.

"Why?" I ask.

"She has had her security pass and password stolen. I asked her to keep a low profile until we catch the person who took them," he says.

"Do you know who it is?"

"Eric," he says.

"What would he do that for?"

"I think he may be working for Jeanine," he says. "When he went through initiation Jeanine tried to convince Shane to give him a leadership position. He had been friends with Jeanine for years and he told her that if you didn't want the position he would offer it to Eric. Well that all changed after you and he had that little bet."

"Everyone in leadership was happy when the bet for the fight was announced, we all knew you would beat him and it meant that Jeanine didn't have any influence at Dauntless. Not that I would have ever let her but she is a great manipulator, I wouldn't be able to trust that she wouldn't get to any of our other leaders."

"Now that we have taken all our files off the faction's server she can't see what is going on here. I would say Jeanine has convinced him to do this. I just haven't worked out why she is so determined to get into our files."

"Do we have anyone in Erudite who could tell us what is going on over there?" I ask.

"No. We don't usually associate with them unless we have too. I never felt the need to try to befriend anyone," he says.

"So I need you to give Lauren a temporary log in so she can complete her initiates reports. I have told her to keep a low profile. I want to catch Eric in the act. I have Gus tracking his movement. Good idea to have the facial recognition software installed by the way. I'm also having Lauren tracked. I need to make sure she isn't working with Eric or that she doesn't give him a heads up that we know that he has her pass."

"I couldn't imagine Lauren working with Eric. We have been working closely together and she never seemed the type," I say.

He just nods. "How did it go with Evelyn?"

"Not good. She wants me to join her. She seems to think she is going to overthrow the faction system. I wasn't very nice to her and I don't think I will be let back in to see her any time soon. She doesn't know what is going on with Erudite and if she does she wasn't telling me. She told me I would regret my decision not to join her," I say.

"She is hard work that woman. What about Tris?"

"I am not having my best week when it comes to women dad. She is angry. I pushed her to talk about everything and she stormed off. I have no idea what is going to happen there but I'm not giving up," I say.

"Just give her time. If that's what she wants than you will have to respect her," he says.

"You never told me that she saw," I say.

"I couldn't. You were so determined to tell her you were alive. I knew if I told you that you would go straight to her. You were too important to me. I couldn't put you in any more danger than you already had been. Watching you in that hospital bed was the worst three weeks of my life and I had only just met you. You looked so tiny and helpless in that big bed. Your injuries were life threatening. Doc Simon had prepared us for the worse, no one thought you were going to make it for those first few days. But you showed us just what a fighter you were. I made a vow that if you made it I would never let anything like that happen to you ever again."

"I understand, it just doesn't make any of it any easier. It was just such a shock when she told me," I say. I do understand and I will be forever grateful for everything he has done for me. I just feel so emotionally drained.

"I'm going to take Tris through her fear simulations," he says. "I will also take Uriah, Marlene and Lynn. I think you deserve a break. I don't want you to have to deal with them with everything else you are going through at the moment. Once I finish with theirs I will just take whoever is left to try not to make it suspicious."

"Thanks dad," I say. "I know I will have to see them when we get to fear landscapes but I will appreciate not having to see them now."

"Have you decided anything about Marcus?" he asks.

"Yeah. I am going to go and see him this week. Now you are helping with the simulations I will have time to go and confront him," I say.

"Do you want me to give you a heads up on what is in Tris's fear simulations?"

"Not really. I'll try and talk to her. I think she deserves some privacy. But if there is something that involves me then it might be better to know before I have to see it in her fear landscape. Let me think about it."


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER 35**

 **FOUR POV**

I have finished fear simulations for the day. Today is the day I am going to confront Marcus. I wanted to have Tris come with me but we haven't spoken for the last few days. She has been having to deal with her fear simulations. Dad hasn't told me what are in them but he did find out she was divergent. No real surprise to him but he had to help her by altering the footage. Dauntless might not care if you divergent but we can't risk other factions finding out. Part of me wants to know what is in her sims but I know it is better that I don't.

I was going to take the train to Abnegation but decided I'd take a patrol car with guards in case I have trouble with Marcus. I think it would give me great satisfaction to lock him up. I have no idea how any of this will turn out. I just have to keep reminding myself that he can't hurt me now. There is nothing he can do to me. But part of me is still that nine year old boy when it comes to Marcus.

I reach the Abnegation sector and go directly to where their offices are. Thank goodness I don't have to walk into that house. I walk in and the first person I see is Andrew Prior. "Can I help you with something?" he asks.

"I need to see Marcus Eaton," I say.

"Do you have an appointment?" he asks.

"No but I think he will want to see me," I say.

"May I ask who is calling?" he asks.

"Just tell him it is Four," I say.

I wait. This is when my nerves start to get the better of me. It has been a long time since I have been here. Marcus used to bring me here when I was younger. He told me I would need to get used to this place because it would be where I would be working once I chose. Even then, before the beatings I didn't think I would stay in Abnegation. I am broken from my thoughts when I look up to see Marcus standing with Andrew.

"Four good to see you," says Marcus.

"Marcus," I sneer.

"Come, come, we can talk in my office," he says. He motions towards his office and I start to follow. I decide at the last second to invite Andrew to join us.

"Mr Prior you might be interested in what I have to say. Why don't you join us?" I say.

I can see Marcus' eyes darken. It is exactly what they would do just before he would beat me. The look sends a shiver down my spine. We walk into his office and they offer me a seat.

"I'd rather stand," I say.

"What can we do for you today Four?" Marcus asks.

"Well Marcus. It has come to my attention that you seem to think that I am your son Tobias. I think we need to discuss this, don't you?" I say.

"I don't think this is something you would want to talk to me about in front of Andrew now son," Marcus says.

"I am not your son!" I say. "I think that Andrew would be extremely interested in this conversation Marcus."

"I can leave if that would make you both more comfortable," Andrew says.

"Yes, I think -,"

"No," I say cutting Marcus off. "I think a witness to this conversation is a good idea."

"How dare you defy me," Marcus rages. I feel my lips start to curl upwards just slightly. How dare I defy him? I have wanted to defy him for as long as I could remember. I was just too scared to. "You are my son and you should be here with me in Abnegation."

"Marcus this will not end well if you want to stay on this path," I say.

"You should be here Tobias. I don't know how you ended up in Dauntless but you should be here," he says.

"My name is Four!" I say slamming my fist on the table. "I chose Dauntless."

"You would never have chosen Dauntless if you were under my roof," he screams at me.

I take the photos of my badly beaten body out of the folder I have brought with me and lay them out across his table. I hear a gasp come from Andrews's mouth.

"These are the photos of your son Marcus," I say in a quiet voice. "These are the photos that show exactly what you did to your son Marcus."

"It was a factionless man. A factionless man did that to my son," he says. There is no conviction in his voice.

"Do you really want to pursue this further Marcus?" I ask.

"Yes," he says. "A factionless man came in and did this. I want my son back."

"Marcus I need you to listen to me very carefully," I say. "No matter what happens here today you will never have your son back. You didn't deserve him then and you don't deserve him now. I have information in this folder that can change your life forever. If I open this folder than the truth will be revealed. Not only to you but firstly Andrew here is going to witness it. Then I will make sure the whole city is aware of what really happened. Do you want that?"

I can see he is weighing up his options. I am sure he is going to back down.

"I want my son back," he says.

I slowly open the folder. I start to take the photos of Evelyn out and lay them on the table. "These are the photos of what you did to your wife Marcus," I say.

"I did not do that," he shouts.

"This is a copy of a statement from your wife Marcus," I say, putting the statement that Evelyn made in front of Andrew. I want Andrew to read the statement before Marcus gets his grubby little hands on it.

"She is dead. A factionless man killed her," he says.

I start to shake my head trying to give Andrew time to read the document. When Andrew lifts his head I know to proceed. "She didn't die Marcus. She is alive and well," I say.

He is standing here with his mouth open the realisation of what is happening is finally dawning on him. "I told you Marcus that if you wanted me to pursue this then you would never have your son back," I say. "You should have listened to me." Marcus has now slumped into his chair, the realisation has hit. You can see it in his face, he looks as though he has aged in an instant.

I call down to the patrol car for the guards to come into the building. Marcus hasn't moved he is stunned. I walk around his desk to where he is sitting. "Stand up," I say. I place the handcuffs I have with me around his wrists. He hasn't said anything. The two guards have walked into the room and are waiting by the door.

"Take him to Candor. Ask for Jack Kang when you get there. Tell him Four sent you," I say. "He knows what this is about."

The two guards escort Marcus out of the room. As soon as he is gone I fall back into his chair. I can't believe I did it. I am shaking now. I had used every ounce of my energy to stay strong while I was confronting Marcus and now he is gone I finally lose that self control.

"Are you alright Four?" Andrew asks me. I just shake my head. "So you really are Tobias?"

I nod. It doesn't matter who knows now. It is going to come out at Marcus' trial. Plus Andrew and his wife Natalie probably deserve to know before the rest of the city. "Does Beatrice know?"

"Yeah I told her a few days ago," I say.

"I'm sorry this happened to you Tobias. If there is anything I can do please let me know," Andrew says.

"Thank you," I say. What else is there to say? "Beatrice is doing well in Dauntless."

"Her mother said the same thing after she visited her on visiting day. How did she take your news?"

"It has been hard on both of us. I haven't had to speak about what happened for a really long time. But I knew she deserved the truth from me," I say.

We sit and talk for a little while longer. He is reminiscing about Beatrice and me as children. It has been nice to talk with him. I didn't have much to do with him when I was a child. I had always talked with Natalie, she had kept a lot of what we did from Andrew or so I thought. It seems he knew almost everything we used to get up to together. I tell him about my life in Dauntless, about Evelyn, Max, Sasha and my brother and sister. I am about to leave when I say," Andrew I know I don't need your permission as neither Beatrice nor I are in Abnegation anymore. But I would like you to know that my intention is to court your daughter once initiation is over."

"Tobias I know that you will court her whether I give my blessing or not but thank you for letting me know. I will always worry about her being in Dauntless. I have always thought of Dauntless as hellions even if my wife is originally from there."

I stand and I am about to walk out when Andrew starts to laugh. I don't think I've ever seen an Abnegation member laugh. Unless you count Tris and I when we were children. "What's so funny?"

"I am just remembering the last conversation you had with Natalie before, well before you left. She told me how you told her you were going to marry Beatrice some day," he says. "I hope the two of you can work it all out. Better a hellion I know I suppose." We both laugh.


	36. Chapter 36

**CHAPTER 36**

 **FOUR POV**

I get back to the Dauntless compound and go to see dad. I walk into his office and I am shocked to see that Jeanine and Caleb Prior are sitting in there.

"Four," dad says. "Come in I don't think you've been introduced to Jeanine." I shake her hand. "And this is Caleb Prior; he is being trained by Jeanine as part of his initiation." I shake Caleb's hand.

"You must be excited to be trained by Jeanine as part of your initiation Caleb?" I say. I find this highly suspicious. Why would Jeanine be training an initiate? She must have better things to do than this. Then I think of Tris, does Jeanine know she is divergent? Is she using Caleb against his own sister?

"Yes I have been fortunate to have Jeanine take an interest in my initiation," Caleb tells us.

"Four, Jeanine would like to show Caleb how our fear simulations work," dad says.

"Really?"

"Yes I would Four. We are always trying to develop our serums. I thought this would be an excellent way to show Caleb how Dauntless run their simulations," Jeanine says.

"Would you like me to put Caleb into a simulation?" I ask. I sure as hell don't want to have them watch any of my initiates go through theirs or mine for that matter.

"I don't think that would be necessary. Maybe one of your initiates would be willing to take us through theirs. Caleb's' sister is a Dauntless initiate I believe. Maybe she could take us through hers," Jeanine says.

"I am not sure she would want her brother seeing any of her fears," I say defensively. "Plus we have just completed fear simulations. I don't believe making Tris go through a simulation unnecessarily is a benefit to anyone."

"Well maybe we should ask her," Jeanine says. I can see that she is not going to take no for an answer. I look at dad and I can see that he is just as concerned as I am. We are both wondering what she is up too.

"I think we can have you look at a copy of a previous simulation that she has been through," dad says.

"That will suffice," Jeanine says.

"I will go and get you a copy," I say.

* * *

"I don't like it dad," I say. Jeanine and Caleb have just left. "She is up to something and now she has involved her brother. What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know. We need to tell Tris what has happened. She deserves to know what is going on," dad says.

"We don't even know what is going on. And I may not have given them Tris' fear simulation," I say.

"Whose fear simulation did you give them?" he asks.

"Peters'." Dad starts laughing. "Well won't they be pissed when they see what is on the disc," he says.

"How did it go with Marcus?" He asks.

"He is at Candor. He wouldn't listen when I gave him the option to let it go. I told Jack to keep everything quiet for now. I told him we would deal with Marcus after initiation was finished. He can rot in their holding cells for a couple of weeks. Andrew Prior knows what is going on, he is going to keep Abnegation going and keep people from finding out where Marcus is for the time being," I say.

"It went that well did it?" he says.

"Yeah. He was impossible. I had Andrew sit in on the meeting. We had a long chat after Marcus was arrested, he knows the truth," I say.

"Well hopefully we can have all of this resolved soon. I will be interested to see what Marcus has to say when we finally get some truth serum into him. Hopefully he can tell us what he is up to with Jeanine while he is under," dad says.

The phone rings on Max's desk. I zone out at what is being said. He hangs up. "Gus just caught Eric talking to Jeanine Matthews on camera. He is watching him on the monitors now. Go down to the control room and see what is going on. Eric must be about to make his move."

 **CALEB POV**

I am glad to be back in the car and moving towards Erudite. I felt extremely uncomfortable in the Dauntless compound. Dad had always called them Hellions and I think he may be right. At least he was right about something. I could never have imagined that my life would be as perfect as it is since leaving Abnegation. I think Jeanine is right; they don't deserve to be running the government. They are holding the whole city back and more importantly they are holding up our chances of eradicating all the divergents. If we could have more money we could run more experiments.

Hopefully Marcus will help us with that soon, with the test subjects that he could provide for us we will have our new serum for mass control up and running in no time. I have seen the suspected divergent list from Abnegation and my mother is on that list. I would love to be able to test on her; it would be very satisfying to see how her mind works. I suppose I should be grateful that she didn't pass any of this down to me genetically. But Beatrice seems to have not been so lucky from what Jeanine has told me. I don't know how she knows, she did say there were alarm bells ringing in her ears when we had our aptitude test but I'm not sure. I trust Jeanine and I know she wouldn't lie to me. She has been so good to me, she has taught me so much since I arrived at Erudite.

I can't wait till we are back and I can look at the footage of Beatrice in her fear simulation. I wonder what she is afraid of. I couldn't imagine that she is afraid of much, she always seemed so fearless to me. Always running off and getting into trouble, she was never afraid of getting into trouble. She was never afraid of what people thought of her, so I wonder what it is that she will be afraid of. The thought of seeing it both fascinates me and excites me.

We walk straight up to Jeanine's office; I know I am anxious to see this video. I can feel the excitement in the air. Jeanine has been trying to get a hold of fear simulations from Dauntless for some time now. Jeanine logs into her computer and starts the video.

I am looking at the video but I don't see Beatrice. In the bottom corner of the screen there is the name Peter Hayes and a date and time code. What? This isn't the video we are supposed to be looking at. I look at Jeanine and I can see the anger in her eyes. I want to ask her so many questions but I am afraid she will go off on one of her tirades. If something doesn't go the way she wants it too she can be quite cruel.

"Should we even bother watching this?" I ask.

"Just because it is not your sister on here Caleb it doesn't mean we can't learn from it," Jeanine snaps. She now has an evil smile on her face. Sometimes I wish I knew what she was thinking; a brain like hers would make an amazing test subject on so many levels.

I sit and watch the video. It appears to be in Candor. Peter is in a fist fight with a younger boy. The younger boy has just punched him in the face when three adults have run over and stopped the fight. "What is going on here?" asks one of the men. Peter has started to cry and he points at the younger boy. "He started it, I didn't do anything and he just started hitting me," Peter says.

The younger boy starts to protest, "I did not you are a liar Peter."

Just then another man arrives. "Why do you have my son?" he asks. He walks over to Peter and puts an arm on his shoulder. "Are you alright son?"

"He started hitting me," Peter says while producing more tears and pointing at the other boy.

"We saw these two fighting so we came over to break it up," the man tells Peters' father.

"Well I think you can see that my son was not at fault," Peters' father says. Peter's tears have stopped and he now has a smirk on his face.

"Come on Peter we are going home," his father says. Peter and his father get home. Once they are in the door his father starts yelling at him. "I know you lied Peter. How could you do this to your family?"

Peter goes to say something but his father puts his hand up in a motion to say stop. "You are a liar Peter. You are a liar." His father keeps repeating this over and over again.

Peter has slumped onto the floor and is covering his ears with his hands. He has started to rock back and forward while keeping his ears covered. While his father keeps yelling at him.

The video stays like this for another seven minutes until Peter finally gets up and yells back at his father, "I am not a liar." Then the video is over.

I sit there stunned; I don't really understand what it all means. But Jeanine seems to know, she has a smile on her face and she says, "interesting." I don't know what was so interesting about that. I am sure she will explain it to me later or she will get Cara to do it.

Thinking of Cara puts a smile on my face. I love working with Cara she is so smart. I don't think I would have survived here if it wasn't for her. I know she is only a few years older than me. There have been a few times where I have not done a task for Jeanine to her high standard and Cara has helped me out before Jeanine has had a chance to find out. It always worries me that Jeanine will work out that I'm not as smart as the other initiates. It worries me that she will stop me from training under her when she finds out. That is why I have to do exactly what she wants no matter what. I need her to like me. I need her to help me to get a great job here.

Jeanine has told me that I need to remember faction before blood, that it is very important here in Erudite. It has helped that Jeanine keeps reinforcing this mantra too me. That is why I would like to test on both my mother and sister, prove to Jeanine that I will do anything to fit into Erudite. That I could one day be a great leader for the Erudite people.

* * *

 _A quick thank you to Hplcgirl for giving me the idea to write Caleb POV._

 _Also to leek812 whose review gave me the inspiration to write Peters' fear._

 _Thankyou everyone for your reviews and for supporting my story – you are all awesome!_


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER 37**

 **FOUR POV**

We didn't need the cameras to catch Eric. He got caught by Shane who was in the server room when Eric entered. He was interrogated by Max and Shane in the Dauntless holding cells. They didn't need truth serum. He spilled his guts trying to save himself. He didn't have any useful information. Well nothing we didn't already know.

Jeanine had wanted him to become leader, Eric had no idea why. When that hadn't happened she had asked him to gather any information he could on Dauntless and our protocols. He was told to get into the server room and take whatever files he could. It wasn't until he saw Jeanine in person in the Dauntless compound that she had told him that she wanted all our simulation files. She wanted as many as he could get. He said it was something to do with divergents but she had not told him why.

Eric has been charged with and found guilty of treason. That is an automatic death sentence in Dauntless. The death sentence will be carried out tonight. Only the leaders will be present. It isn't often that such an act has had to be carried out and we have decided not to make a big deal out of it. Really we just don't want Jeanine to know what is going on. Once we have sorted that out we will let people know what has happened to Eric.

* * *

I am sitting in the dining hall having dinner. I haven't been spending much time in here lately. Finding it easier to avoid Tris whenever possible. I don't know when she will want to talk; I think I'm more afraid of what she will say to me so I find it easier to stay away. The table is unusually quiet tonight. I think the initiates are on edge, after days of fear simulations the rankings are going to be announced tomorrow.

We are all getting ready to leave when Amar and George jump up and stand on top of our table.

"ATTENTION! ATTENTION!" Amar shouts out across the room. "I would like to announce that George and I are getting married."

The whole room erupts in whoops and whistles, stomping of feet and clapping of hands. George and Amar hug and then kiss. Which has Zeke shouting, "get a room." And the whole room laughing. They jump off the table and we all congratulate them. Tori comes running over and gives her brother George a hug and then Amar as well and she says, "it's about time."

"Now we have a reason to party," says Zeke.

"When have you ever needed a reason Zeke?" Amar asks. Which has us all laughing again. "I am not having a game of dare at my wedding, George would probably kill me."

"Yes I would," says George. "But that doesn't mean we can't have them at our Bachelor parties."

 **TRIS POV**

I walk into the dormitory to find all the initiates standing in a group at the end of the room. Max is standing in front of them with a chalk board in his hands. I go and stand next to Will.

"What's going on?" I whisper.

"Rankings for stage two," he says. "they are giving us a progress report."

I nod. I am feeling uneasy about this. What if I have dropped lower in the rankings? With everything that has been going on with Tobias I had forgotten that it may not even matter, that I maybe on a slow ticket out of here. Max lifts the board and hangs it on a nail. When he steps aside the room falls silent and I crane my neck to see what is says.

My name is in first spot. I can't believe it. As Max walks past he says, "good job Tris. Keep this up and you will be joining us in leadership."

Heads turn in my direction. I follow the list down. Christina is in fourth and Will in sixth. Unfortunately Peter is second. When I look at the time listed by his name, I realize that the margin between us is conspicuously wide. Peter's average simulation time is eight minutes. Mine is two minutes, forty-five seconds.

Peter turns slowly; every limb is infused with tension. A glare would have been less threatening than the look he gives me—a look of pure hatred. He walks toward his bunk, but at the last second, he whips around and shoves me against a wall, a hand on each of my shoulders.

"I will not be outranked by a Stiff," he hisses. "How did you do it huh? How the hell did you do it? Are you banging Four and Max, is that it?"

He pulls me forward a few inches and then slams me against the wall again. I clench my teeth to keep from crying out, though pain from the impact went all the way down my spine. Will grabs Peter by his shirt collar and drags him away from me.

"Leave her alone," he says. "Only a coward bullies a little girl."

"A little girl?" scoffs Peter. "Are you blind, or just stupid? She is going to edge you out of the rankings, out of any hope of a good job, maybe out of Dauntless all together. All because she knows how to manipulate people and you don't. She already has Four twisted around her little finger and now it looks like she has done the same to Max. So when you realize that she's out to ruin us all, you let me know."

Peter storms out of the dormitory. Molly and Drew follow him with looks of disgust on their faces.

"Thanks," I say, nodding to Will.

"Is he right?" Will asks quietly. "Are you trying to manipulate us?"

"How on earth would I do that?" I scowl at him. "I'm just doing the best I can, like anyone else."

"I don't know." He shrugs. "You do seem really close to Four and Max is Fours' dad."

"Are you serious?" I almost scream. "You have been in the simulation, how can I be manipulating them? Do you really think that Four or Max would be corrupt? I'm your friend, I would not do that."

"Don't be an idiot Will," says Christina. There is no conviction in her voice and I wonder if she even believes me. Christina hops down from her bunk and she leaves the room with Will following.

This only leaves Al and me in the room together. His shoulders are slumped making him look extremely small compared to his usual large frame. I don't think I can handle any more crap from anyone today so I walk out of the room before Al can say anything to me.

* * *

I find a quiet hallway to sit and think. I don't really want to be alone at the moment but I don't think Tobias would be happy to see me so I close my eyes and pay attention to the cold stone beneath me. The cool stones help to calm me after the showdown in the dorm.

"Tris." I look up to see Uriah jogging towards me with Lynn and Marlene in tow. Lynn is holding a muffin.

"We have been looking for you," Marlene says. I must look a little confused. Because Uriah adds, "We heard you ranked first. We wanted to come congratulate you and see if you wanted to come with us. I'm going to shoot a muffin off Marlene's head."

"Well thank you," I say. I start to laugh, the idea of shooting a muffin of Marlene's head seems ridiculous but also probably a great distraction from today's events. "Why are you shooting a muffin off Marlene's head?"

"She bet me I couldn't aim well enough to hit a small object from one hundred feet," Uriah explains. "I bet her she didn't have the guts to stand there as I tried. It works out well, really."

We walk down to the training room and Uriah flips the light switch. It looks the same as the last time I was there: targets on one end of the room, a table with guns on the other.

"They just keep these lying around?" I ask.

"Yeah, but they aren't loaded." Uriah pulls up his shirt. There is a gun stuck under the waistband of his pants. "Okay," he says. "Go stand in front of the target."

Marlene walks over to the target with a skip in her step.

"You aren't seriously going to shoot at her, are you?" I ask.

"It's not a real gun," says Lynn. "It's got plastic pellets in it. The worst it'll do is sting her face, maybe give her a welt. What do you think we are, stupid?"

Marlene set the muffin on her head. Uriah squints one eye as he aims the gun.

"Wait!" calls out Marlene. She breaks off a piece of the muffin and pops it into her mouth. "Mmkay!" she shouts, the word garbled by food. She gives Uriah a thumbs-up.

"I take it your ranks were good," I say to Lynn.

She nods. "Uriah's second. I'm first and Marlene's fourth."

"Your only first by a hair," says Uriah as he aims. He squeezes the trigger. The muffin falls off Marlene's head. She didn't even blink.

"We both win!" she shouts.

Marlene picks up the muffin from the ground and bites into it. Uriah shouts, "Gross!"

The door to the training room opens. Shauna, Zeke and Four walk in just as Uriah fires at another target. The plastic pellet bounces off the centre of the target and rolls along the ground.

"I thought I heard something in here," says Four.

"What are you doing in here?" Zeke asks.

Uriah starts in on his explanation when Four comes and sits down next to me.

"Hi," he says.

"Hi," I say back.

"Congratulations on your ranking," he says. I just nod. "What? I thought you would have been excited about it."

"She would but it seems the other transfers aren't," Lynn says and then she walks over to where Uriah and Zeke are talking about the dare.

"You belong here, you know that?" Four says. "You deserve your ranking. I saw the times; there was nowhere else to put you other than first."

"Yeah I get it. Are you sure you didn't have anything to do with it?" I ask.

"NO!" Four says. I can hear the agitation in his voice. "Tris you did it all yourself, don't let others put stupid ideas in your head. I don't need to cheat to have you make it into Dauntless. And I would hope you wouldn't think I would cheat."

"I'm sorry. I do know you wouldn't cheat; it's just, well Peter said some stuff and it just made me question everything. It was more that it made me question me not you."

We sit in silence for a moment watching Zeke and Uriah fool around. I look back towards Four and his hand is so close to mine it is almost touching. I decide that I need to take action here. I need him to know that I care and although I've been angry it isn't at him. It has been about everything. I put my hand over his. He looks at me startled.

"I'm sorry," I say. "About everything."

He takes my hand in his and entwines our fingers. It's nice to be able to touch him again. "I'm sorry too," he whispers back. We look into each others' eyes and we both smile.

"We should go get some dinner," Uriah calls across the room.

"Is that all you think about Uriah, food?" Marlene says.

"I was only really thinking of cake," Uriah says. This makes us all laugh.

"Shall we go?" Four asks me. I nod and he pulls me up and we walk out of the training room hand in hand.


	38. Chapter 38

**CHAPTER 38**

 **TRIS POV**

I decide to go to bed early. I am so glad that Tobias and I have made up. Or at least we are getting there. This hasn't been easy on either of us and there is still some rebuilding to go. I get into bed and pretend that I am already asleep as the others slowly trickle in. I am still upset with the way Will and Christina reacted. I don't really care what Peter thinks of me.

I can't seem to get to sleep there are too many thoughts going through my mind. I get out of bed to get a drink of water. I'm not thirsty but I need to do something. I think of going to go and see Tobias but think better of it. I have just taken a drink from the drinking fountain when I feel someone grab me from behind.

I start to scream, but a hand slaps over my mouth. It smells like soap and it's big enough to cover the lower half of my face. I thrash, but the arms holding me are too strong, and I bite down on one of the fingers.

"Ow!" a rough voice cries out.

"Shut up and keep her mouth covered." That voice is higher than the average males' and clearer. Peter.

A strip of dark cloth covers my eyes, and a new pair of hands ties it at the back of my head. I struggle to breathe. There are at least two hands on my arms, dragging me forward, and one on my back, shoving me in the same direction, and one on my mouth, keeping my screams in. Three people. My chest hurts. I can't resist three people on my own.

"Wonder what it sounds like when a Stiff begs for mercy," Peter says with a chuckle. "Hurry up."

I try to focus on the hand on my mouth. There must be something distinct about it that will make him easier to identify. His identity is a problem I can solve. I need to solve a problem right now, or I will panic.

The palm is sweaty and soft. I clench my teeth and breathe through my nose. The soap smell is familiar. Lemongrass and sage. The same smell surrounds Al's bunk. A weight drops into my stomach.

I hear the crash of water against rocks. We are near the chasm—we must be above it, given the volume of the sound. I press my lips together to keep from screaming. If we are above the chasm, I know what they intend to do to me.

"Lift her up, c'mon."

I thrash, and their rough skin grates against mine, but I know it's useless. I scream too, knowing that no one can hear me here.

I will survive until tomorrow. I will.

Hands push me around and up and slam my spine into something hard and cold. Judging by its width and curvature, it is a metal railing. It is the metal railing, the one that overlooks the chasm. My breaths wheeze and mist touches the back of my neck. The hands force my back to arch over the railing. My feet leave the ground, and my attackers are the only think keeping me from falling into the water.

A heavy hand gropes along my chest. "You sure you're sixteen Stiff? Doesn't feel like you're more than twelve." The other boys laugh.

Bile rises in my throat and I swallow the bitter taste.

"Wait, I think I found something!" His hand squeezes me. I bite my tongue to keep from screaming. More laughter.

Al's hands slips from my mouth. "Stop that," he snaps. I recognize his low, distinct voice.

When Al lets go of me, I thrash again and slip down to the ground. This time, I bite down as hard as I can on the first arm I find. I hear a scream and clench my jaw harder, tasting blood. Something hard strikes my face. White heat races through my head. It would have been pain if adrenaline wasn't coursing through me like acid.

The boy wrenches his trapped arm away from me and throws me to the ground. I bang my elbow against stone and bring my hands up to my head to remove the blindfold. A foot drives into my side, forcing the air from my lungs. I gasp and cough and claw at the back of my head. Someone grabs a handful of my hair and slams my head against something hard. A scream of pain bursts from my mouth, and I feel dizzy.

Clumsily, I fumble along the side of my head to find the edge of the blindfold. I drag my heavy hand up, taking the blindfold with it, and blink. The scene before me is sideways and bobs up and down. I see someone running towards us and someone running away. Before he can run past the person running towards us he is knocked down and isn't moving. I grab the railing next to me and haul myself to my feet.

Peter wraps a hand around my throat and lifts me up, his thumb wedged under my chin. His hair, which is usually shiny and smooth, is tousled and sticks to his forehead. His pale face is contorted and his teeth are gritted, and he holds me over the chasm as spots appear on the edges of my vision, crowding around his face, green and pink and blue. He says nothing. I try to kick him, but my legs are too short. My lungs scream for air.

I hear a shout, and he releases me.

I stretch out my arms as I fall gasping, and my armpits slam into the railing. I hook my elbows over it and groan. Mist touches my ankles. The world dips and sways around me, and someone is on the Pit floor—Drew—screaming. I hear thumps. Kicks. Groans.

I blink a few times and focus as hard as I can on the only face I can see. It is contorted with anger. His eyes are dark blue.

"Tobias," I croak.

I close my eyes, and hands wrap around my arms, right where they join with my shoulder. He pulls me over the railing and against his chest, gathering me into his arms. Easing an arm under my knees. I press my face into his shoulder, and there is a sudden, hollow silence.

* * *

I wake up and at first I'm disorientated to where I am. Then I see Tobias sitting next to me and I realise that I am in his bedroom. He gives me a small smile and I try to smile back but I have a constant throb of pain in my head, cheek and ribs.

"How did I get here?" I ask. I have no real memory of how I got here.

"I was coming back from the control room when I heard your screams," He says.

"You're injured," I say. His knuckles are cracked and I can see dried blood on them, he also has a cut on the side of his lip. I touch my fingertips lightly to his mouth.

"Tris," he says, speaking against my fingers, "I'm all right."

He puts the ice pack on my head and says, "I should let you rest." He gets up to leave and I grab his hand.

"Stay with me?" I ask. We have only just made up after everything that has happened. I know I am asking a lot after the way I have treated him but I don't want there to be anymore distance between us. I want us to be us; I want him to know just how much I want him. I can see him hesitating; I know he is frightened that he may upset me in some way again. But if I know Tobias and me well enough we are always going to be testing each other. That was how it was when we were kids and I know now that that is just the way we roll. "Please."

He nods his head and moves onto the bed with me. He is trying to be gentle with his movements but everything hurts anyway. He lies down next to me and I hold his hand. So glad that I am here with him and that I feel safe and secure.

* * *

I wake up in Tobias' arms. I am so glad he found me when he did. I would probably be dead now if he hadn't. It makes me realise just how stupid I have been avoiding him the last few days. I didn't want to really but I felt ashamed for feeling the way I did when I knew that everything that had happened wasn't his fault. Just like what I had said wasn't the reason for his supposed death.

I am glad that I have a few days off before stage three. Now that I am in first place I feel like I can start to think about my future here in Dauntless. Hopefully a future with Tobias. "What you thinking?" Tobias asks.

"My future," I say. "I feel like I can finally start to think of my future here in Dauntless. Not have to worry that I might have to work in the retirement home or go through training again."

"No I don't think you will have to worry about those things. Peter, Drew and Al won't be included in the rankings either."

"Where are they now?" I ask.

"Drew and Al are under guard in the infirmary. Peter is missing but we will find him. How are you feeling Tris?" he says.

"Sore and tired. I still can't believe Al, I thought he was my friend," I say.

"Peter is a manipulator and a coward. He never acts alone, so he can blame others if it goes wrong. Peter knew Al in Candor he probably knew the best way to manipulate him to do what he wanted. It doesn't excuse what he did; it just makes him a bigger coward for not standing up for himself. Al was never going to fit into Dauntless eventually he would have become factionless," Tobias says.

"What will happen to them now?"

"I'm not sure. We will have a meeting, me and the other leaders, decide what should be done. They won't be staying in Dauntless that is for sure," he says. "We should get up, go and get some breakfast. I'm sure Christina will have sent out a search party for you by now."

I laugh, Tobias is probably right. The dormitory is probably looking empty this morning with almost half the initiates not staying in there last night.

"Tris I want you to stay here. At least until we find Peter," Tobias says.

"Okay," I say. I don't want to argue with him over this. I want to stay here; I want to spend as much time as I can with Tobias. "I would like that."

"I would like that too," he says. He gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Let's get up, I need food."

p/b

We walk into the dining hall. Everyone is already sitting at our table.

"What the hell happened to you?" Christina almost yells at me as I sit down.

"Peter, Drew and Al tried to throw her in the chasm last night," Tobias says.

"WHAT?" everyone shouts at the same time.

"I'm okay," I say. "Four was walking past and stopped them just in time."

"Where are they now?" Zeke asks.

"Drew and Al are in the infirmary, Peter hasn't been found," Tobias says.

"What will happen to them?" Christina asks.

"I don't know I am going to have a meeting with the other leaders after breakfast. Probably they will become factionless," Tobias says.

"We need to do something fun today," says Uriah. "Zeke are you working today?"

"No, Shauna and I both have the day off," Zeke says.

"Why don't you have a game of paintball?" Tobias says.

"Are we allowed?" Christina asks.

"Well I'm a leader and I am telling you to go and have a game of paintball," says Tobias. "Go out to the old warehouse on the north side of the compound, you won't get in anyone's way and there are places you can hide."

"You're not coming with us?" Zeke asks.

"If I finish early with the meeting I will try and meet you out there but I have to see Gus in the control room and talk to the guys down in Patrol so I may be a while," Tobias says.

"Awesome. Let's do this then," says Zeke.

"Here is a key to my apartment. When you are finished I will meet you back there," says Tobias. "Don't go anywhere by yourself, we don't know where Peter is. Stay with Zeke, he will look after you. Okay?"

"Okay," I say.

"Zeke come and get the paintball gear," Tobias says. As they get up from the table I hear him say to Zeke, "do not let her out of your sight. Walk her back to my apartment when you are done." Zeke nods. "Don't worry man I will look after her," Zeke says.

 **FOUR POV**

I have just left my meeting with other leaders. It has been decided to make Peter, Drew and Al factionless. We have the control room and patrol all searching for any signs of Peter. Candor have also been alerted as it was his old faction. There is always the possibility that he will try and go back to his parents.

I have been in meetings for hours so I decide to go back to my apartment and see if Tris is back from paintballing yet. I walk into the apartment and I can't help but laugh. Shauna, Zeke and Tris are all standing there covered in paint. "Do we have any paintballs left in the compound or are they all on you three?" I ask.

"We may have used a few more than usual," Zeke says. "Well we are going Four, I think we all need showers. I can't wait to get this horrid smell of me. I don't get why they can't come up with a nice smelling paintball?" We all laugh and they leave the apartment.

I walk over to Tris and I go to give her a hug. "If you touch me you are going to get paint all over you," she says.

I smile. "I will take my chances," I say. I give her a hug and I am now covered in paint as well. I look down at my clothes and Tris laughs at me. "I told you so."

"Are your clothes still in the dormitory?" I ask.

"Yes I didn't think to bring them up here," she says.

"Let's go and get them. Then you can have a shower," I say. "I think it's going to take you awhile to get all that paint out of your hair."


	39. Chapter 39

**CHAPTER 39**

 **FOUR POV**

It has been five days since the attack on Tris and they have been the best days of my life. Tris has basically moved in with me. Peter hasn't been found and I am not letting her stay in the dormitory until he is. I was hoping to ask her to move in with me once initiation was over anyway so it has happened just a few days earlier than I had hoped. I still need to ask her to officially move in but I haven't found the right time or the guts to do it. What if she says no?

I had the five transfers that are left moved into the Dauntless-borns dormitory. They have enough room in there and it seemed a better idea to have them all together in case there are problems with Peter returning. I doubt there will be, Peter is a coward and he won't attack anyone on his own. But there have been enough attacks, so I am feeling better that all the initiates are together. Christina and Will are the only two transfers happy with the arrangement and that is because they had already made friends with Uriah, Marlene and Lynn.

I have been working from home and just hanging out with Tris. We have a steady stream of visitors now that Tris is staying here. I've never had this many people in my apartment and the first couple of days was uncomfortable but now I am enjoying it. Especially when I get to hear Tris laughing. It's like music to my ears.

We are sitting on the couch, I am just finishing up a report and she is reading a book. She stops reading and puts the book on the coffee table and says, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything," I say.

"How did you get the name Four? I mean I know you have four fears but you had that name before you went through your fear landscape didn't you?" she asks.

"Yeah. When I first got here I was home schooled so they could catch me up on everything I had missed while I was in the hospital. Plus they didn't want anyone to recognise me at school. So I used to explore Dauntless when I had free time. There are so many hidden places here and as a kid I loved the freedom to just go where I wanted within the compound of course."

"Anyway there was a new group of initiates going through their fear landscapes and because I was small no one took any notice that I was there. So Max saw me and I thought I was going to be in so much trouble. I mean it wasn't long after, well it wasn't long after, Marcus would beat me for breathing wrong and so I thought Max would be really upset and hit me too. But Max was never like that. All the crazy stunts Zeke and I got up to and he never once raised his hand to me."

"I was expecting him to start yelling or something but he didn't, he explained what the initiates were doing and explained the whole concept of fears to me. So I told him I was only going to have four fears. And so he decided that he was going to call me Four from then on and that is when I knew I was safe. I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about Marcus anymore even though I still have even now nightmares about Marcus, at least when I was awake I had Max to protect me. So that is when I asked him if I could call him dad. Evelyn hated it, she wouldn't call me Four but she also didn't let my secret out either thank goodness"

"I remember when initiation started and they made us go through our fear landscape as soon as we got here. I was so sick with worry that I would have more than four fears and then I would just look like a complete idiot. Even though it was only my family who knew how I got the nickname in the first place. So when I only had four fears it was a big relief. I went home to see dad as soon as I could to see him and tell him that I had been right. It was a pretty awesome moment."

"That is so sweet, I am so glad that you got a second chance with Max," she says. She comes and sits in my lap and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Yeah he has always been great, the best dad I could have asked for really."

"I forgot to tell you," I say. "Speaking of dads', I got to see your dad the other day."

"How did that happen?" she asks.

"I went to Abnegation to confront Marcus. I am so sick of the Erudite reports and I knew I would have to confront him one day. So I did."

"So how did it go?" she asks.

"Not well Marcus wouldn't let up, kept saying I was his son. I never once admitted that I was his son but I had the photos you saw and a statement from Evelyn that it was Marcus that had beat both of us. When he kept pushing I had him arrested. He is sitting in a cell in Candor at the moment."

"What will happen to him?"

"He will be put under truth serum. Jack at Candor will have him interrogated and if he is found guilt, which he will, then he will either be factionless or I don't know. It will probably be up to Abnegation to decide what they want as punishment."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I don't really care that much now that it is done. I was so scared going to see him. When I first got there I felt like I still only nine years old and that he would beat me again. But then when I saw him, I was so angry with what he had done to me that it felt good to finally confront him. I was never going to outright tell him I was his son I wanted him to have to always wonder if it is me or not. He was still in my nightmares until you came to stay. I haven't had a nightmare since I have had you sleeping next to me," I say.

"Well I suppose I will just have to stay a little while longer, you know I wouldn't want you to have to have those nightmares again," she says with a playful smile on her face. I smile too and lean in and kiss her.

We have been kissing for a while now when she suddenly breaks away. I look at her puzzled, did I do something wrong? "What?" I ask.

"You were going to tell me about seeing my dad," she says.

I start to laugh. "What is so funny?" she asks.

"Your dad realised who I was and I told him it was true. He asked whether you knew and I told him that you did. We talked for awhile and he was telling me about all the mischief, his word not mine, that we used to get up to when we were little. I didn't know he knew all that stuff. I knew your mum did but I had no idea that he did."

"Neither did I," she says. "I thought if he knew than I would have never been allowed to leave the house again." We are both laughing at this.

"Anyway before I left I told him that I was going to court you once initiation was over," I say.

"You did? How did that go?" she asks.

I chuckle and say, "Well, he told me that he thinks that all Dauntless are hellions even if Natalie is from here. But he did say better the hellion he knows. So I sort of think he is okay with it." I don't tell her about the part of the conversation where I professed that I was going to marry her one day. I think I will leave that until I actually work up the courage to do that. But I think that will be a little while away, we are both still young.

"I'm glad that he sort of approves. I know that we aren't in the same faction anymore but I was really worried he would hate me for coming to Dauntless."

"He could never hate you Tris. He is really proud of you," I say.

"So you're going to court me after initiation?"

"I was going too. I was going to wait until initiation was over but, well, I, I suppose you could call this courting Dauntless style," I say. A little lost for words.

Tris giggles and says, "Courting Dauntless style, I like that."

"Well I don't really think that anyone in Dauntless actually courts. I'm not really sure because I've never done anything like this before. I've never felt like this before," I say.

"Never?" she whispers.

"Only once but it was a really, really long time ago," I say with a smile on my face.

"Oh," she says. "Who was she?"

"It was you Beatrice, it has only ever been you," I say. She looks up at me and I can see the realisation on her face and she smiles. She pulls me to her and kisses me. I kiss her back so hard it hurts. I feel her fingers twisting into my shirt. I feel like I can't breathe, I have never felt anything so intense in all my life. Slowly her fingers untwist from my shirt and her hands have moved to the hem of my shirt. I pull away and stare at her. I know where this is leading and I need to know that she is okay with it.

She looks at me and she slowly starts to move my shirt up over my body. I help her to get it off and she is just staring at me. I am feeling really self conscious right now; I have never let anyone see me, not like this. She touches the tattoo I have on my ribs of the Dauntless flames. Every touch feels like the flames are actually alight, burning my skin in a good way. She moves around to my back her fingers still touching, exploring. I feel like my whole body is about to burst into flames.

I can't take it anymore, I turn around and I kiss her, my hand is touching the bare skin between her shirt and her jeans. Her skin feels like it is on fire just as mine is with her touch. Her hands are on my chest and it feels like my insides are going to be ripped from me at any moment. I am moving my hands slowly up her back under her shirt, I can hardly breathe I want her so much. Then she moves her hands down my chest onto my stomach, I let out a moan, she is driving me crazy right now. She takes her hands from me and I shiver, I feel cold now that she isn't touching me. I look down and see that her hands have moved onto her own shirt. She slowly starts to lift her shirt. I am sure I am shaking just as I can feel her doing the same thing, I have never been so nervous or felt so euphoric as I do right now.

I pull away just a little so she can take her shirt off. Once her shirt is off I look at her and hope that she is wanting me as much as I want her. She gives me a small nod and I kiss her. I kiss her like I have never kissed her before. I grab her hand and pull her towards our bedroom.


	40. Chapter 40

**CHAPTER 40**

 **TRIS POV**

We are walking hand in hand towards the dining hall for breakfast. I can't wipe the grin off my face. I never thought that I could be feeling the way I do right now. I know I have my fear landscape today but it is the furthest thing from my mind. I never knew that I could feel this way. I never thought I would feel this way.

Growing up in Abnegation I never thought that I would feel like this. I know if I had stayed in Abnegation that I would have married, probably not for love but out of the necessity of breeding the next generation. I knew as a wife I would be obligated to perform certain acts with my husband. I never knew that I would be able to have just as much enjoyment as we were told a man would have.

We reach the dining hall and go and sit with our friends. I know I should try to curb the smile that is permanently plastered on my face but I can't. Christina is sitting across from me and she is staring intently at me. I start to put my fork that is covered in eggs to my mouth when Christina shrieks, " Oh my God you didn't?"

Everyone has turned and is looking at Christina. I can feel the hot blush move over my face and down my neck. "What?" says Uriah, clueless to what is going on.

"You did, I can see it written all over your face. You're glowing," she says.

"Christina," I say as forcefully as I can. I don't want any more attention drawn towards me than already is.

"Tris," she almost yells.

I pick up my fork and throw my eggs at her. "Shut it," I say. I am trying not to laugh as much as I don't need all of Dauntless knowing about Tobias and I, I still have a little bit of Abnegation in me and this to me is something really private.

My eggs have landed on Christina's face and she has retaliated by throwing some of her eggs back at me. Unfortunately with egg in her eyes she has missed me and hit Uriah. "Hey," Uriah says. Who then starts to throw from his plate in the direction of Christina.

It doesn't take long before we are all throwing food at one another. It is really funny and I am trying not to laugh when Uriah smacks my face with a piece of buttered toast. I go to fling it back at him but it misses and flies across to the table behind us. Uriah, Zeke and Christina are almost crying from laughing when all of a sudden food starts flying from the other table over to ours. We turn our attention from hitting each other with food to the people at the table behind us.

Now food is going every which way and hitting people at even more tables. It is not long before the whole of the dining hall is in one massive food fight. I have butter all over my face. I have egg through my hair; my clothes are covered in every breakfast food imaginable. I turn and look at Tobias and he is laughing so hard, he is covered in food as well.

The dining hall is a complete mess and so is everyone in here. It has been a great way to break the tension before we go into our fear landscapes later today. The door to the dining hall opens and Max and Shane have walked in. Everyone has stopped throwing food and look at the two leaders. If we are going to get into trouble this would be the time.

Max looks around the room and stops when he sees our table. He says, "I should have known. Get this mess cleaned up before you leave." Max and Shane then turn and leave the dining hall both with small smiles on their faces. This is what I love most about Dauntless; even our leaders are open to their members having fun. This would have never happened in Abnegation.

I turn to look at Tobias again and he just leans down and kisses me. Christina comes over and pulls us apart and says, "You are going to tell me everything later." I just roll my eyes and move back into Tobias's arms.

"I think we have a lot of cleaning to do," I say.

"Yeah you might be right," Tobias says back and we both just laugh.

* * *

By the time we get to the fear landscape room for our final test the whole of Dauntless compound has plunged into insanity and chaos. If I thought our breakfast food fight was crazy, I was wrong it has nothing on how the Dauntless are now. Today is a big day here in Dauntless. Only essential staff work everyone else is given the day off and most were drunk by lunchtime.

We sit just outside the fear landscape room. Most of the Dauntless-born have finished. Tobias already told me that he won't be sitting with the other leaders to watch. He told me he wanted me to have some privacy and that it is up to me when and if I tell him what my fears are. I know I will tell him anyway but it is a nice gesture. Lauren is going to sit in his place and he will run the computer and inject us with the serum.

I have been sitting for what seems like hours. Slowly I have seen the number of people diminish in the room as they go through their landscape. "Tris," I hear Tobias call my name. I look up and I think finally. I walk over to Tobias and he plunges the needle into my neck and he asks, "Ready?"

I give him a small nod. I know I am ready. "Be brave Tris," he says. I step into the room wishing I knew what order my fears will come in. I know that I am only moments away from finding out. I bounce on the balls of my feet as I wait for the first fear to appear. I feel like I am already short of breath.

 **FOUR POV**

I am so nervous for Tris as she enters the fear landscape room. I have no doubt she will be fine but I remember the feelings that are going through your mind as you are about to start. I can't see what she is facing from here but I can watch her movements, it gives me some indication of what is going on.

I watch as Tris crouches down, running her fingers along something. Then I see her pick up an object. It must be a gun as it looks like she is trying to shoot into the air. She stops and her hands move back towards her side. One fear down but I don't know how many more she will have to face.

Tris is crouching again; she is running her hand up something, maybe a wall. Then she starts slamming her palm against what I think is a wall. Nothing seems to be happening for her and I can see the panic on her face. Calm down Tris I think to myself, willing her to stay calm so she can move forward. She is now leaning against what is probably another wall and she is kicking, she looks to be putting all of her weight behind it. I am wondering if she is afraid of confinement, she appears to have walls all around her. She starts to pound her fists again and I can see a look of concentration on her face. All of a sudden she stops pounding and she is shaking her hands. Another fear down I think.

Now it seems as though she is being thrown around. Her body is being flung around and she looks to be trying to hold onto something. I see her wince and my heart is in my mouth." Concentrate Tris you can do this," I whisper to myself. She is still being flung around and whatever is doing this to her is causing her pain. A scream comes from her lips. It is taking every ounce of my being not to run in there and help her, just like she helped me in my fear landscape. She throws her hand forward, I can see her arms are shaking but she continues to drag herself forward. She gets up and starts to run.

I see her take a deep breath and I know she is through another fear. That's three. Tris tries to move her arms but they seem stuck, bound by an unknown force. I see her talking but I don't know what she is saying or who it may be too. She is looking a lot calmer in this fear. She speaks again and then a smile comes across her face. Another fear has been completed.

It looks like she has stepped into another fear. There is a look of confusion on her face. Maybe it is a fear she hasn't faced before, I'm not sure but that is the feeling I get. I see her body go rigid she blinks and then her body whips around. It is like there is more than one person there with her. She is staring intently at someone and her hand is moving while she keeps staring at whoever is there with her. I think she has picked up a gun again and she screams. She crouches down and I can see she is thinking. She sits on the floor for a moment and then she is fumbling to push something aside, maybe a door I'm not sure. Now she is smiling, this is a good sign, she crawls along and then I see her take a deep breath. She is doing so well I am so proud of her.

She is standing again and looks to be holding something in her fingers. She curls her fingers around what I would imagine to be a gun with her index finger on the trigger, maybe? By the look on her face I think that she may be looking at her worst fear. She is shaking her head and I hear her say, "No." She is looking between what I think is four or five people. She shouts,"Shut up!" Her heart rate is starting to go up by what I can see on the computer. Come on Tris, I am willing her to calm herself. She closes her eyes and that same look she had before comes across her face. She is thinking. I feel like I can almost hear the cogs in her brain working overtime. I can feel my heart rate starting to rise, come on Tris I keep saying to myself, willing her to get through this. She releases her index finger from its position and her hand drops to her side. Then all of a sudden she lifts her arm back up and it looks like she has a gun, if that what it is pointed towards her forehead. I almost feel like I am in my own fear landscape as I am watching her. I see her finger move and then the lights come on. I let out a breath. Thank god that is over. I almost wish I had been in with the other leaders to watch that, it couldn't' have been any harder to watch than it was from here and I would have seen exactly what she was seeing.

I open the door and walk into the room. I am followed in by dad and the other leaders and Lauren. "Congratulations, Tris," dad says with a smile. "You have successfully completed your final evaluation."

"Thanks," she says.

I grab her hand and start to pull her out of the room. "We have two hours before the banquet and they will announce your ranking," I say.

We continue to walk towards our apartment when I hear, "Tris." Dad is jogging to catch up to us. We stop and wait for him.

"Tris, the other leaders and I would like you to consider a job as leader," dad says. This must mean that she has ranked first. I am feeling really proud of her. "You can think about it, but I will need to know before job choosing tomorrow. Shane is about to retire and he has decided to stay on and train you until he feels you are ready to take over the position. It is a great opportunity and Shane has a wealth of knowledge and experience in the job. So I hope you will consider it carefully."

"Thanks Max, I will," Tris says.

"Well make sure you have some fun at the banquet. I'm sure that won't be hard if you are with my son and his crazy friends," he says as he pats me on the back and walks towards his apartment.

"Come on," I say, dragging her toward our apartment. "We may as well get some rest before tonight; it could get a little wild tonight."


	41. Chapter 41

**CHAPTER 41**

 **FOUR POV**

We are lying on our bed talking. "So leadership? Do you think you will take up dads' offer?" I ask.

"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it. With everything that has been going on I can't believe I have finally got through initiation. I feel like, I don't really know how I feel there is so much buzzing around in my brain. I s'pose it would be cool if I got an apartment like yours. That would be nice."

"About that," I say. I am so nervous right now. I don't know if I will be able to get the words out. "You already have all your stuff here. It would be a pain if you had to move it again."

"I don't have that much stuff," she says. We are both silent for a minute. "Wait, what are you saying?"

Okay Tobias time to be brave I think. I look into her eyes and I am sure she knows what I am about to say but it doesn't make it any easier to ask.

"I want you to stay here," I say. "I mean, I want to know if you would move in with me?" There I said it.

"Yes," she whispers.

"Yes?" I say but it comes out more as a question. I have a smile on my face hoping that I heard her correctly otherwise I am going to look like a complete idiot.

"Yes!" she says much louder this time.

"Yes," I say back. I hug her and then I give her a soft kiss on her lips. I think I am the happiest guy alive right at this moment. Tris is giggling and I start to laugh too. I am so relieved that she has said yes.

* * *

We walk into the dining hall; this is where they will be announcing the rankings. The room is packed as we try to weave our way over to our friends.

"So here is our perfect ten," Shauna says.

"What?" I ask.

"Well you have four fears and Tris here has six. Add it together and you are a ten. And seeing you are a couple I have decided you are the perfect ten," Shauna says.

Tris groans into my shoulder and hides her face from everyone and I just shake my head. Everyone is laughing. "I can't believe you thought of that," I say.

Zeke holds up a bottle to me but I wave it away.

"Don't tell me you're not drinking?" he asks. "Come on you have to drink, imagine all the crazy shit we can get up to tonight. Maybe we can string Uriah up to the rock climbing wall again."

"Hey, there is no way you are coming anywhere near me tonight bro," Uriah says. We all start laughing.

"Uriah you only become a member once, you will just have to hope it isn't as crazy as our initiation party," says Zeke.

"Why? What happened?" asks Christina.

"It was one of the craziest nights in Dauntless history," I say. "Or so they told us the next day."

"You don't remember?" Tris asks.

"Not a clue," Zeke says.

"I woke up falling off the top of Four and Zeke who were spooning on one of the beds in the dormitory," says Shauna. "But that was probably the best part."

Everyone is looking between Shauna, Zeke and me. Christina, Will and Tris haven't heard any of the stories about my initiation. "So Shauna woke up with a tattoo on her arm expressing her love for Zeke. The thing is they weren't even together at the time. Zeke had a broken leg with a note on it to go to the infirmary when he sobered up so they could take x-rays because they couldn't get him to sit still while he was drunk," I say.

"So what happened to you?" Tris asks.

Shauna and Zeke start laughing their heads off. I think everyone must think they are insane.

"He got a haircut," Shauna says.

"That's not that bad," Christina says.

"Oh yeah, it was," says Zeke. Laughing even more.

"Shut up, I liked my hair," I say.

Tris is looking at me confused when Shauna says, "Four used to have long hair, not long like yours Tris. Maybe about Christina's length. It was really beautiful hair all curly, the girls used to love it." I scrunch my face up at the thought of those girls who were always trying to touch my hair. It was yuck!

"Anyway someone dared him to cut it Abnegation short and being the drunken dumbass he was, he did it," says Zeke.

"I can't imagine Four with long hair," says Will.

"I like your hair just the way it is," says Tris quietly so I can only hear her.

"I thought you would have grown it back out," says Marlene.

"I couldn't be bothered," I say. "This is so much easier to deal with. Plus I don't have girls trying to touch it all the time." Everyone laughs at this. I don't think it's funny, I am deadly serious.

"Maybe next dare we should dare him to grow it long again," Zeke says. "I'm sure Tris will enjoy it."

"Zeke," I say.

I see dad waving me over. "I have to go and do the whole official thing. Good luck I will be back as soon as they announce your rankings," I whisper shout into Tris' ear.

"Okay, thanks," she says. And I walk over to where the other leaders are standing. Ready to announce this year's new members. I almost forget that I am leader when I am training the transfers. It has been the most intense few weeks of my life.

 **TRIS POV**

I am standing with our group of friends watching Tobias walk over to the other leaders. Do I want to be a leader too? It is definitely something to think about. It would mean I would get to work with Tobias but then I wonder will it be too much working and living together. I don't know. I have a lot to think about. I just hope that whatever we get up to after the banquet isn't as crazy at Tobias' initiation party was.

I am broken from my thoughts when I hear a microphone squeal. I look across to see Max standing on a table with the microphone in his hand. He taps the microphone with his hand and the room has gone quiet.

"It is a new year and we have a new group of members to welcome to Dauntless," he says. The crowd cheers. "We offer our new members our congratulations." The room erupts again but this time with pounding of fists on tabletops. The noise vibrates in my chest and I can't help but grin.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and acquiring the skills to force the bad out of the world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you."

"Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order that they have ranked," Max says. "If you are out of the top ten we will discuss what your options are tomorrow as well. We all know how the rankings are determined, so let's get to it. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

As soon as he has finished the names appear on the screen. I look up and see that next to the number one is my picture and the name "Tris". I can't believe what I am seeing, not only am I a member but I have ranked first. Will's arms wrap around me and he gives me a bear hug. I hear cheering and laughing and shouting. Christina points at the screen, her eyes wide and filled with tears. I look back at the board to see where my friends have been ranked.

Tris

Uriah

Lynn

Marlene

Edward

Will

Christina

I don't know the other people on the list they are Dauntless-born. Myra isn't a member yet but I am sure she will make it eventually. I hope so for her and Edward's sake. I smile and Christina hugs me. Someone grabs me from behind and shouts in my ear. It's Uriah. "Congratulations!" I shout.

"We did it," he says. "Now it's time to party!" Before I can respond he is running into a crowd of people.

Will and Christina kiss. All around me is the pounding of Dauntless fists. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Tobias standing behind me. I turn around and he says, "Congratulations Miss first." I can't help but smile as he leans in and kisses me. It is the best feeling in the world, now that I know that I am staying in Dauntless it makes it all real. I kiss Tobias back and think how lucky I am that I found him again. We are broken apart with Zeke jumping up and down beside us yelling, "Party time!" He is like a little kid who has had too much candy. I hear a groan escape Tobias's lips and I just laugh.

* * *

I wake up with a pounding head. It feels like someone is bashing out their heartbeat with a drum. I slowly open my eyes to see that I am lying on top of Tobias and it is actually his heartbeat that I can hear. I close my eyes hoping that this feeling will go away if my eyes are shut. Not that I don't like hearing his heartbeat but today is not the day for it.

I hear a groan coming from across the room and I wonder where I am, at least I know I am with Tobias. Tobias starts to move and I know he is awake. He can't move much because I am on top of him. "Tris," he says.

"Please don't talk," I say. "I feel like my head is going to explode."

He starts to laugh and this brings a horrible feeling to my stomach. I sit up too quickly and the room starts to spin a little. "Are you okay?" he asks.

I shake my head and ask, "Bathroom?"

He points to the bathroom; I can now see we are in the Dauntless-born dormitory. I haven't spent much time in here so once I see where he is pointing I quickly get up and start running. I make it just in time and start throwing my guts up into the toilet. I feel someone grab my hair and move it away from my face and feel a large hand rubbing my back. I look up to see Tobias standing next to me with a grin on his face.

"Why are you smiling?" I ask.

He just starts laughing and says, "Welcome to Dauntless."

I groan and next thing I know I have my head back in the toilet. I had no idea my stomach could hold so much. Well it obviously can't at the moment and I keep retching. I am never drinking again I think to myself. Tobias is still laughing and he says, "Yeah you will."

"How did you know what I was thinking?" I ask.

"Because it is the same thing we all think the first time we have our heads stuck in the toilet."

I finally stop throwing up and I get up. Tobias hands me a bottle of water which I am very grateful for right now. I take a sip and it feels good. Tobias gives me a hug and says, "Did you enjoy yourself last night?"

I try to think about what we did last night before I answer him. I am coming up blank. "I can't really remember anything after Christina asked me to dance with her," I say.

"Probably better that you don't," he says.

"Oh no, what did I do?"

"Nothing bad. Well nothing bad by Dauntless standards anyway," he says. That doesn't help; Dauntless standards aren't really that high when it comes to drinking and partying. We walk back into the main part of the dormitory where the beds are and if I didn't think it would make me sick again I would probably laugh.

Christina is lying face down on Wills chest with just her underpants on. Zeke is sprawled out on the floor. Marlene and Lynn are spooning on one of the bunks and Shauna is sleeping on a bed with one arm and one leg hanging over the side. I am sure if she moves even an inch she will fall straight off.

"Where is Uriah?" I ask.

Tobias shrugs and then moves over to where Zeke is and gives him a soft kick to his side. "Shauna leave me alone, I'm not in the mood," Zeke whines.

Tobias and I both laugh at this. I walk over to Christina and Will. Before I wake Christina I put a blanket over her. Before I can wake her I hear a loud banging, just like when Tobias would come and wake us up during initiation.

There are moans and groans coming from different people as they slowly wake up. We are all really a funny sight to see. We must have had one hell of a party last night. "Come on get up," Tobias says. "We have to try and find Uriah."

Zeke sits up and rubs sleep out of his eyes. He looks at Tobias and he starts to laugh. "You know where he is, don't you Zeke?" Tobias says.

"Yep," Zeke says and he starts to laugh again.

Shauna sits up and says, "You didn't did you?"

Tobias starts to laugh now and I am feeling a little left out. What have they done? Tobias grabs my hand and starts to drag me out of the dormitory and into the pit. We get into the pit and there is a group of people standing around the rock climbing wall. Tobias points up and I am shocked to see Uriah hanging from the top tangled in a harness. Amazingly he is still asleep.

Zeke and Shauna come over and they are both laughing hysterically. "How did you get him up there Zeke?" Tobias asks.

"I told him that there was a Dauntless cake waiting for him up there. My initiation present for him," Zeke says.

"And he believed you?" I ask. I didn't think Uriah would be that stupid, but we are talking Dauntless cake here.

"He sure did," Zeke says. "But first I spiked his drink with a sleeping tablet, so when he got to the top he passed out."

"You are extremely cruel to your brother Zeke," I say. But Zeke doesn't seem to mind he is just laughing at what he has done.

"What in the world did you lot get up to last night?" Max asks. We all nearly jump out of our skins; we hadn't heard him come up behind us. This makes Max laugh.

"I see Uriah found his bed for the night, again," Max says. "I hope now that you have all become members that this will stop happening to him. Hana is going to have a fit if she sees him. Better go and find someone to help get him down. I just hope he doesn't wake up first."

Tobias, Shauna and Zeke start to laugh. Tobias can see the confusion on my face and says, "Last time he was up there. He woke up and started screaming, it was so funny and it took them over an hour to get him down because he was so hysterical. It was the funniest thing ever." And they start to laugh even harder.

We are all laughing when Christina, Will, Marlene and Lynn arrive. When they see what is going on they all start to laugh as well. "Come on let's go and get some breakfast," Zeke says.

"Don't you want to watch them get him down?" Will asks.

"If he wakes up then we should be able to hear it from the dining hall. Trust me; you don't want to be anywhere near him when they get him down. He is going to be so pissed."

We walk into the dining hall and everyone starts to cheer. I look at Tobias who has a smile on his face. "What did we do last night?" I ask. Not really wanting to know the answer but still wanting to know anyway. It must be bad to get such a reaction from Dauntless.

We all sit at our usual table. Marlene and Lynn have just walked in and they are getting a cheer as well. I finally take a proper look at them and see that Marlene has pink hair. When did that happen? I think to myself. They plop down on seats both looking like I feel. Green.

I look around the table and I am finally really looking at everyone. "What happened to your arms?" I ask as I point to Shauna and Zeke. Zeke has a plaster cast on his arm and Shauna has a bandage on her arm.

"I have no idea," says Zeke. "I woke up with a note from Doc Simon on my arm saying it was broken but unlike last time I don't need to get it x-rayed." Shauna and Tobias start laughing.

"What is so funny about a broken arm?" Christina asks.

"When we had our initiation party Zeke woke up with a cast on his leg with a note saying he had to go and have it re-x-rayed because he wouldn't stay still enough to let them get the x-ray," says Shauna.

"So what about your arm?" Christina says pointing to Shauna.

"Oh this. Well when our initiation was over I went and got this tattoo but I didn't remember getting it. It had Zeke's name on it in a heart. Anyway I was really lucky that Tori only used a pen to put Zeke's name on here. So last night I thought as an anniversary present I would get it put on permanently," says Shauna. She pulls off the bandage and we can see that the word Zeke has been put onto her arm.

Zeke pulls Shauna into a kiss and we all give them a clap. "Finally, I thought you were never going to put me there," says Zeke.

"Lynn are you wearing a dress?" Shauna asks her sister.

"Yes," Lynn mumbles.

"How did that happen?" Shauna asks.

"I gave her a makeover," Christina says with just a little too much enthusiasm in her voice.

"Well I think you look really nice, you should wear a dress more often," I say.

"Thanks Tris," Lynn says.

"So Marlene did Christina colour your hair as well?" Shauna asks.

"I have no idea," Marlene says. "I just hope it washes out later. If not I think I will have to go to the salon and get them to try and fix it."

"You could always keep it that way," Zeke says. "We all know that Uriah loves the colour pink."

We all start laughing at Zeke's comment. Then we hear someone screaming, it sounds a bit like Uriah did when we went zip lining, like a strangled cat. "Sounds like Uriah is awake," says Zeke.

We all start laughing again but even over our laughter you can hear Uriah cursing Zeke. Next minute we see Hana coming towards our table. "Now you're in for it," Tobias says.

Zeke looks up just in time to see his mother's fist connect with his jaw and he is out cold. Hana is the most loving beautiful Dauntless woman you will ever meet. "Tell him when he wakes up that he has a lot of explaining to do," says Hana. With that she walks out of the room. And we all start laughing again. I can't believe she just did that. I have never even heard her raise her voice before.

Uriah walks in and you can see the anger in his eyes. He gets to the table and we are all still laughing at what just happened to Zeke. "Who got to him first?" he asks.

"Your mum came in and punched him in the jaw and knocked him out," Tobias said.

The anger is gone from Uriah's eyes and he starts laughing. "Mum did that? How awesome is my mum. Zeke is never going to live this down," Uriah says.

"Aren't you mad at him?" I ask.

"Not anymore. Man, I am going to be able to tease him about this forever. I will never forget it. Do you think I could go up to the control room and watch it?" Uriah says.

"I will make sure they make a copy for you Uriah," Tobias says. And we all start laughing again.

"So did we do anything else really embarrassing last night?" I ask.

"Well Tris the way you and Christina were grinding on each other on the dance floor I thought we were going to have to tie Four up before he beat up every guy in Dauntless," says Will.

"I wasn't that bad," Tobias says.

"Yeah you were dude," says Uriah. "Tris and Christina were smokin' hot out there dancing; if I was single I would have been straight on to it."

"Hey!" Tris, Christina, Will and Four all say at once. Then Marlene clips him on the back of his head.

"What? It's true, they had everyone's attention," Lynn says.

I just moan and put my head in my hands.

"Don't worry Tris it wasn't that bad," Marlene says. "Plus that is the only thing you got up to last night. By Dauntless standards you had a really tame night."

I look up at my friends and say, "I wish my head was telling me differently." Everyone just laughs.

Zeke starts to stir. He looks up at us and he sees Uriah and he points to him and says, "Did you knock me out?" Everyone starts to laugh again.

"Not me big bro, it was mum," Uriah says.

"NO!" Zeke shouts. He looks at us and we are all just nodding. "Oh no, I'm never going to live this down am I?"

"We were just going to go up to the control room and have a look at it on replay," Tobias says.

"Are you kidding me?" Zeke asks.

"Nope, do you want to come with us?" Tobias asks Zeke.

"Yeah I really can't believe my own mother knocked me out until I see it," Zeke says.

* * *

We are now standing in the control room and Gus who is in charge of the control room comes over to us. "I know what you are all here to see," he says whilst laughing.

"Uriah you might want this," Gus says and he hands Uriah two discs. "I made a copy for your mum too."

"Gus I thought you were my friend," Zeke says.

"I'm your boss first Zeke and seeing what your mum did had me in hysterics. I had to record it for everyone to see," Gus says.

"So show me the damage," Zeke says.

Gus pushes some buttons and next thing we have Zeke being punched by Hana on ten large screens. But it isn't just once that we see it, Gus has put it on a loop and it just keeps replaying over and over and over again. We are all laughing our heads off and Zeke has just sat down on a chair and put his head in his hands. Which just makes it all the more funny to everyone.


	42. Chapter 42

**CHAPTER 42**

 **FOUR POV**

We walk down to the pit for job choosing. All the initiates are there and some of the Dauntless have come over to see what they choose. It is not as big of a deal as when the members are announced but it is probably more important. I have no idea what Tris is going to pick, we have only had a brief conversation about it and she hadn't decided. As long as she is happy with her decision then I don't mind what job she decides on.

"Okay let's get this done. You were all given a list of what the available jobs are so let's start with you Tris," Shane says.

Tris walks up to Shane and I can't hear what she is saying. Shane turns around and puts Leader next to her name. Everyone gives a clap and a cheer. "Good choice," says Shane. Tris then walks over to dad and explains to him that she doesn't need him to allocate her an apartment because we are moving in together. Dad just smiles and gives her a hug. She looks a little shocked at this but for me it is a really cool moment. I love that my family like Tris.

Uriah is next and he picks Control Room and Initiate instructor. Gus will probably be tearing his hair out if he has Zeke and Uriah working the same shift. Lynn decided to work in the Tattoo Parlour which I think is perfect for her. Marlene had decided on the Childcare Centre, she has a great personality for this. Edward had decided on the Infirmary. I'm glad he picked this; I know he was grateful for all their help when he was stabbed by Peter. So he will probably fit in well. Will decided on Weapon Development, his Erudite is still showing I think to myself. Christina is going to be a Shop Assistant and Initiation Instructor. While I think she will be great working in a shop preferably a clothes store but I so hope that I get to work with Uriah and not Christina when it comes to initiation. She may be Tris's best friend but she will probably drive me nuts. And my only other transfer initiate left is Myra and she doesn't have a choice she is going to be working in the retirement home.

Will and Christina have decided to move in together. Uriah is moving in with Zeke, I think Zeke only agreed to this because it meant they would get a bigger apartment. Marlene and Lynn are sharing as are Edward and Myra. We are all just about to leave the pit so that everyone can go and check out where they will be living when I girl dressed all in blue comes running into the pit screaming out to Will.

We all look at Will and he says, "Cara, what are you doing here?"

Cara has bent down in front of Will and is breathing heavily. It looks like she has run here all the way from Erudite.

"I had to get out," she says between heavy breaths. "Jeanine. . . testing. . . divergent. . . abnegation. . . factionless."

We can't really make out what she is saying. Her breathing is still heavy. Shane and Max walk over to her. Shane says, "Are you okay?"

Cara just shakes her head. You can see she is physically exhausted. "Let's get you somewhere to sit and then you can explain what is happening," Shane says.

"Will you help your sister. We will go up to my office. Four, Tris you will need to come too," Dad says.

Tris looks at me with a questioning look. "Well you chose leader. Looks like you are going to be starting your job a few days early," I say to Tris.

* * *

We are all sitting in dads' office. Tris, Will, Cara, Dad, Shane, Tony, Sam and me. Cara is starting to get her breath back and has been having a drink of water.

"Do you think you can tell us what is happening?" Shane asks.

Cara nods her head. "I have been working closely with Jeanine Matthews. She is out of control; she keeps testing serums on people. She started to test on the factionless but it hasn't been going well. Most don't survive what she has been putting them through. She made a deal with Marcus Eaton. She was going to get information for him and in return he would convince members of Abnegation to go to Erudite and help Jeanine."

I look at Tris and she is looking at me. We both have worried looks on our faces.

"She hasn't heard from Marcus for weeks and she was starting to get really angry. She went to Abnegation yesterday but couldn't find Marcus. I thought she was going to kill someone when she got back. She told Caleb that he needed to go and see his parents and find out where Marcus is. When he came back with no information she was not happy to say the least."

"She has also been trying to get in contact with someone who works here in Dauntless but she hasn't heard from him either. I don't know who he is but she was screaming at any one who was in the room. I was starting to get really scared. Then she said that she was going to kill all of Abnegation if she couldn't get answers soon. That is when I decided to leave."

"Cara what has she been working on?" I ask.

"She has had Caleb and me working on a long range serum that can control people. But it doesn't work on anyone who is divergent. So she has been testing the serum on factionless people," she says.

"But how would that kill someone?" Tris asks.

"It doesn't. She just gets so crazy angry when it doesn't work that she has them taken into a room and shot. I didn't know this was happening or I would have come sooner. I found out by accident. I was walking past the room and I heard a gunshot and then someone opened the door and I saw the man she had been testing on lying on the floor dead. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I asked Caleb about it and he told me it was true. That if the serum didn't work she was terminating the person. Caleb tried to convince me it was for the best. He said we couldn't let people know what we were doing."

"That can't be true. Caleb isn't like that. He is selfless, he wouldn't let someone be harmed," Tris says.

Cara shakes her head. "I'm sorry but it is true. He has changed from when he first got to Erudite. Jeanine has him wrapped around her little finger. You should have seen the disappointment on his face when he came back from Dauntless and they had a copy of someone else's fear simulation. He even admitted to me that he would love to be able to do tests on his mum and sister. He thought that it would be fascinating."

I see the colour draining from Tris. I'm glad we are all sitting because I am sure she would have fallen over otherwise. I put my hand into Tris's hand and give it a small squeeze. She turns and gives me a small smile but I can tell this is really hard for her to hear.

"Jeanine was always telling Caleb how wonderful he was, that he was so much better that his traitor father. Jeanine seemed to take it personally that his father left Erudite for Abnegation. She wants to take over Abnegation; she wants to be in control of the government. The reason she is trying to make the serum so that divergent people can be controlled is so she can create a mindless army to kill the Abnegation so she can have the control."

"But who was she going to get to be this mindless army?" I ask.

"She was going to use Dauntless. She was going to tell you that she had an injection that was to help you to track your members. So that if they got into any trouble on patrols or went missing that you would be able to find them," Cara says.

"Oh crap," says Sam. "She came to me a few weeks ago with that idea. I thought it sounded like a good idea. I'm sorry I didn't know. I have communications from her on my computer about it."

"What are we going to do?" Tris asks.

"Cara you are welcome to stay here. Although it would be better if you dressed in black, we don't want to draw attention to you being here," Shane says.

"I'm sure Christina would love to take you shopping," says Will.

"This information is not to leave this room," Shane says. "We are going to have to talk to Abnegation let them know what Jeanine has planned. We need them to have a plan in place in case Jeanine tries anything."

"Tris and I will go and see her dad, he has been running things since Marcus has been arrested," I say.

"Okay, that is a good idea. Now we are going to have to get Marcus put under truth serum as soon as possible. It looks like he has even more crimes to answer for," Shane says.

"I will talk to Jack at Candor," dad says, "We should be able to have this done in the next couple of days."

"Cara can you think of anything else that we should know," says Shane.

"Yes, the guy in the fear simulation video that Caleb and Jeanine got from Dauntless, he turned up in Erudite a few days ago. I don't know where he is but Jeanine promised she would hide him there."

"Peter," I say.

"What?" says Tris.

"Jeanine wanted show Caleb how our fear simulations work. She asked that I have you go through yours so they could see what it was like. Dad and I said no. Jeanine wasn't happy so dad said we would make a copy of a fear simulation you had already done. But when I went to copy the file I decided to give her one of Peters' instead," I tell her.

"Alright so here is what we are going to do for now," Shane says. "Four, you and Tris go to Abnegation help them to formulate a plan in case we have to get them out of there quickly. Max go to Candor and have them put Marcus under the truth serum as soon as possible. Cara you can stay here with your brother but I need you to dress like a Dauntless. I also need you to sit down with Tony and give us a layout of Erudite and more importantly where Jeanine has her office, residence and anything else that may be useful. I also need you to make a list of all the people in Erudite that are supporters of Jeanine and her work. We will meet back here tomorrow night."

* * *

Tris and I get home and we just crash onto the couch. "Tris are you okay?" I ask.

"I don't know Tobias. I can't believe Caleb, he is not the person I thought he was," she says.

"It sounded like he was being manipulated the way Cara was talking," I say.

"I know but how could he think what he is doing is alright? He let Jeanine kill people. Who does that?" she says.

"I don't know Tris," I say. I take her in my arms and just hold her.

"He must know what she has planned. And he is willing to let her murder our parents. He wants us to be mindless soldiers and to murder them. He wants me to kill my parents."

"I'm sorry Tris," I say. I don't know what else to say to her. This is such a messed up situation.

"Marcus was going to help her too. Tobias we have some really fucked up family members," she says.

I can't believe I just heard Tris swear. "Tris!" I say with shock in my voice but I am trying not to laugh.

"It's not funny Tobias. It is so screwed up. Your dad nearly killed you. Your mum abandoned you and now my brother is trying to get me to kill my parents," she says. "Seriously what is wrong with these people?"

"Maybe it's something they put in the water in Abnegation," I say.

"Well maybe they need a little bit of peace serum from Amity," she says. And we both laugh.

"Let's go to bed, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow," I say.

"As much as I will be glad to see my parents tomorrow, I am not looking forward to telling them about what Caleb has been up to," She says.

"C'mon," I say, "I have something that might take your mind off all of this for a while."

"Really? I like your thinking Tobias," she says with a smirk on her face.

We get off the lounge and start to walk up the stairs.

"How nice was your dad today when I said I didn't need an apartment because we were going to be living together," she says.

"I know. I was really happy when he hugged you. I'm glad that my Dauntless family love you," I say.

"Me too," says Tris as we walk into our bedroom. I love thinking that, our bedroom.

 **ANDREW POV**

I'm sitting across from Marcus. He is in his Candor cell and I am sitting on the other side of the bars.

"Andrew what they have said it is all lies. You have to believe me. I would never hurt my son or wife like that. I don't know where they got that statement from, it must be forged," Marcus says.

He isn't the man I thought he was. All those years I have stuck by him, tried to help him. I felt sorry for him for losing his wife and child and it was all a lie. After I had my talk with Tobias I felt terrible that I hadn't realised what was going on. I worked with him, our children were friends. How did I not know what an evil monster her was.

"Well I suppose it will all come out when they put you under the truth serum Marcus," I say.

"No, no, no Andrew you can't let them do that," he says.

"What are you talking about Marcus? It is the only way you are going to be able to clear your name," I say.

"No if they put me under there are worse things that could come out," he says. "I've done something that will cause me more trouble than Evelyn and Tobias."

"What are you talking about? What could be worse than beating your wife and child Marcus?" I ask. Is he finally admitting to hurting them?

"I can't tell you Andrew. Just find a way for them to not put me under that serum, please," he says. "We have been friends a long time Andrew. You know I could never have hurt them, please you have to help me."

"Marcus if you are innocent of these crimes than you have nothing to worry about. It is out of my hands. This isn't an Abnegation matter. You made it public. Four gave you the chance to let it go and you wouldn't. Now you are going to have to face the truth," I say.

"His name isn't Four. He is Tobias. I know he is Tobias, I would know my own son anywhere," Marcus says.

"I think you are mistaken Marcus. His name is Four, he grew up in Dauntless and he chose Dauntless at his Choosing Ceremony. I don't see how you can think he is your son. If you didn't do those things to your son then he is dead. Killed by the factionless person. But I suppose the truth will all come out very soon. I'm sorry Marcus but I have to go," I say.

"Andrew please, you need to get me out of here. You need to convince Jack that I can be trusted to tell the truth without the serum," he says.

"Marcus I think we all want to know the truth of what happened. You are going to have to face the consequences. It will be the only way to clear your name," I say.

I start to walk towards the exit. I can still hear him begging me as I am leaving. I try to block out the sound of his voice. I am feeling quiet ill over the whole matter. I know he was lying to me; Tobias finally opened my eyes to what a horrible man he is. I can't believe I was fooled by him for all these years. I can't even imagine what Evelyn and Tobias suffered through. I could never imagine doing those things to Natalie and our children. I can't wait to get home and wash the lies from me and to see Nat. I just wish I was able to see Caleb and Beatrice right now. They may have decided to leave Abnegation but I am so proud of both of them. And I need to make sure I tell them so when I see them next. It also makes me think of all the pain that Beatrice went through thinking she had lost Tobias forever. It was a truly terrible time for her. I also know it was one of the reasons she chose Dauntless. I'm glad she found Tobias again, but I still miss her.


	43. Chapter 43

**CHAPTER 43**

 **FOUR POV**

Tris and I are on the train heading towards Abnegation.

"You ready for this?" I ask her.

She shakes her head. "I'm excited to see my parents but I'm not happy about what I am going to have to tell them," she says.

"I can understand that. Just know I am here for you. No matter what happens," I say. We don't really know how her parents are going to react. It is going to be hard for them to hear about what Caleb has been up to. I move over to where Tris is standing. I sit down and pull her into my lap.

"I love you Tris," I say.

"I love you too Tobias," she says back to me. It brings a smile to my face and I kiss her. "I am so glad I have you here with me. I don't think I could do this alone," she says.

"Always Tris. I will always be here for you. I promise," I say. I wrap my arms around her and she rests her head on my shoulder. I am so hoping today isn't as hard as I think it is going to be on her.

* * *

We reach her parents' door and I knock. I can see how nervous Tris is; she is fiddling with the hem of her shirt. I reach out my hand for her hand. "It is going to be okay Tris," I say.

"I hope so Tobias, I really hope so," she says.

I can hear footsteps and then the door is opened by Natalie. "Beatrice," Natalie says.

"Hi mum," Tris says.

"Come in, come in," Natalie says and motions with her hand for us to come in.

"Andrew we have company," Natalie calls out.

"Coming," he says.

Andrew comes down the stairs and sees Tris and he walks over and gives her a really big hug. It takes me a little by surprise it isn't the usual Abnegation welcome.

"It is so good to see you Beatrice," Andrew says. He looks up and sees me. "Tobias it is good to see you also." He comes over and shakes my hand.

"What do we owe the pleasure of this visit?" Natalie asks with a smile on her face. She has always had the warmest most welcoming smile.

"It's not a social call mum," Tris says.

"Well come in and sit down. Can I get you both something to drink?" Natalie says.

"No thank you," I say.

"I'm fine mum," Tris says.

We all sit down. "Why don't you tell them you're good news first Tris," I say.

"What good news Tobias?" she asks.

"Your ranking, your job," I say.

"Oh yeah, I sort of forgot about all that. Mum and dad I ranked first in initiation," she says.

"That is wonderful news Beatrice," Natalie says.

"I am so proud of you Beatrice," Andrew says.

"Umm well I also have a job now. I chose to become a leader of Dauntless," Tris says. She almost sounds embarrassed about it.

"Well who would have thought our little girl would be a leader in Dauntless," says Andrew. "I can see Dauntless was the right choice for you Beatrice."

"Well that's why we are here Dad. We have come because of our roles as leaders. I don't really know how to tell you this but," Tris says. She takes a deep breath and the sighs.

"Mum do you remember my friend Will from Visiting Day? I nearly got in a fight with his sister Cara from Erudite," she says. I didn't know about this.

"Yes I remember them both," Natalie says.

"Well Cara has been working closely with Jeanine Matthews," Tris says. "She has also been working closely with Caleb." I can see that Tris is finding this hard to talk about; she is squirming in her seat and looks hesitant to talk.

"Yesterday after we had job choosing Cara turned up in the Dauntless compound," I say. I think this is going to be easier if I tell then the story. Not that it is going to be easy for them to hear but it is going to be easier on Tris.

"She came to us for help. There are some problems in Erudite and Cara had some disturbing information to give us," I say.

"Is Caleb in trouble?" Andrew asks.

"Yes he is," I say. "Why do you ask?"

"If Jeanine is involved then I have no doubt that there is trouble," Andrew says. "See I am originally from Erudite."

"What?" says Tris.

"I am originally from Erudite," Andrew repeats.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? Mum was from Dauntless and now you are telling me you were from Erudite. And Caleb and I chose your old factions. This is all really weird," Tris says.

"What made you leave Erudite?" I ask.

"Well two things. First I fell in love with Natalie and wanted to be with her and secondly I didn't like what was happening at Erudite. So I knew I wasn't going to stay there," Andrew says. "So your mum and I decided that we would pick a different faction and start fresh."

"What happened in Erudite to make you want to leave?" I ask.

"Jeanine was doing experiments on people. One didn't end well. It made me sick to see what she was doing. I knew I couldn't stay there after that. So we picked Abnegation," Andrew says.

"Well it seems things haven't changed much," I say. "Erudite have been testing serums on factionless people. She has also made some sort of deal with Marcus so she can test on people from Abnegation."

"That's what Marcus was talking about," says Andrew.

"What?" I ask.

"I went to see Marcus yesterday. He begged me to get them to stop him from being put under the truth serum. He said that if things got out it would ruin him," Andrew says.

"Like he hasn't got enough that is going to ruin him anyway," I say.

"Well he seemed more concerned with the other than with what will come out about you and Evelyn, which I found quite strange. But I didn't really think about it that much because I was trying to get my head around how I had believed him all these years. How he had been able to manipulate us all on what a wonderful person he was."

"Anyway back to what Cara had to tell us," I say. Marcus and his crap can wait. "Jeanine is working on a serum that will put people under simulation so that they will become mindless murderers. She has been testing on people who are divergent to see if she can put them under simulation too. She is planning to kill everyone in Abnegation."

"What does this have to do with Caleb?" Natalie asks.

"Jeanine has been overseeing Caleb's initiation. And it seems he will do anything she asks of him. Whenever the testing doesn't go the way she wants it Jeanine has the test subject killed. Caleb has been assisting her with this. Jeanine was going to tell Dauntless that she had invented a tracking serum so that we could track any of our members in case they got lost or ran into trouble while patrolling the city. But really she was going to be putting them into a simulation and have them murder everyone in Abnegation," I say.

"Oh dear," Andrew says. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Dad, Caleb was going to have me kill my own parents," Tris whispers.

Natalie gets up from her seat and sits next to Tris and gives her a hug. "Oh baby, it's okay. It isn't going to happen," Natalie says to Tris.

"But what if it had?" Tris says as she tries to stifle a sob.

"What is being done about this?" Andrew asks me.

"We are just trying to gather as much information as we can at the moment. Then I am sure we will arrest Jeanine and anyone who is involved with her evil scheme," I say.

"Is there any chance Caleb isn't involved?" Andrew asks. I shake my head.

"We came here today to warn you about what is going on. We need you to organise a plan in case Jeanine tries anything on Abnegation. We need you to be able to all get away safely," I say.

"I am sure we can organise something," Andrew says. "What else is being done to try and stop this?

"We are trying to organise to have Candor interrogate Marcus as soon as possible. That way we can find out exactly what he knows. We have Cara giving us as much information as possible about Erudite, where Jeanine's office and residence are, who else is involved with her plan. Once we have all the information gathered we will put a plan into place. We are going to have to arrest her and anyone who is involved in all of this," I say. "Unfortunately that is going to involve Caleb being arrested as well."

"We understand, Tobias," Andrew says. "I just hope that he isn't' as involved as you think."

"The evidence is stacking against him Andrew. Some of the things we have been told are disturbing," I say.

"I don't want to know the details," Andrew says. I am feeling really sorry for him right now. He is sitting here with his daughter and you can see he is extremely proud of what she has accomplished and then he has to hear about what a horrible person his son has turned into. "I know how conniving Jeanine can be. She is extremely intelligent and is very good at manipulating people to do what she wants. It is no excuse for what Caleb is doing but I had hoped we had raised him better than this."

"If it's true what you are saying about Jeanine then it is unfortunate that he decided to choose Erudite. Maybe things could have turned out differently," I say. I don't know if I truly believe what I am saying. But I am trying to make them feel better about what their son has become. Although I remember when we were little and how much Caleb hated Tris and I being friends. I always thought he was a little strange. But maybe it was because Tris and I were so similar and really didn't fit into Abnegation where Caleb always seemed the perfect fit. He was a really good actor. He had Tris fooled right up to the day he chose.

* * *

Natalie and Andrew asked us to stay for lunch but we declined. We told them that we would come back soon and spend quality time with them. We get back to Dauntless and go straight to the dining hall for some lunch. We are both exhausted but we are also hungry.

We walk in and we see our friends sitting at our usual table. Cara is now wearing all black, looking at her you would never know she was from Erudite but as soon as she opens her mouth you can tell she doesn't belong in Dauntless.

Zeke is trying to convince her that she should get a tattoo. It is funny hearing him tell her why it is such a good idea. In Dauntless it is just a normal every day event. Someone will say let's go get tattoos and everyone is like okay. But Cara can't seem to see the logic in it.

"You could look at it as a way of remembering your time here with us in Dauntless. That you had to be brave to come to us for help. You can get it somewhere that people won't see it. I think you should at least go to the tattoo parlour and have a look around, you may find something you like," Tris says.

"Are you sure you aren't Erudite Tris?" Marlene asks. "Remember our game of capture the flag? You were way Erudite smart then too."

"Well we are just lucky she chose Dauntless," I say. I know she has aptitude for Erudite but I don't want the others to know and I still don't trust Cara completely. Who knows who she will tell when she goes back to Erudite.

"I think you might be right Tris. I should at least go and have a look," says Cara.

"Awesome," says Zeke. "So after lunch we will all go to the tattoo parlour and try and help Cara find the right design."

I don't think Zeke is going to take no for an answer with this one. I really wish Cara good luck with that.

* * *

Tris and I head back to our place after lunch. Neither of us feels like hanging in the tattoo parlour this afternoon. "What do you feel like doing?" I ask.

"I think I am going to have a nap," Tris says. "We still have to meet with the other leaders tonight and I feel so drained after everything with mum and dad today. Thank you for explaining it all to them. I don't think I could have got it all out."

"I know and you are welcome. Let's go have that nap. I think we are going to have a lot to do over the next few days."

With that we head up to our bedroom and we both fall asleep really quickly. I didn't realise just how draining this had been on me as well. That's when I realise, I hurt when she hurts.

* * *

Tris and I walk into the Dauntless boardroom for our meeting with the other leaders. We are just waiting for Sam to arrive, no one is talking, I think we are all lost in our own thoughts trying not to speculate what everyone may or may not have found out.

"Sorry I'm late. I have been waiting to see if Jeanine would send me more information on her tracking serum. Unfortunately she hasn't answered any of my requests," says Sam.

"That's okay," says Shane. "Let's start with you Max. What happened at Candor?"

"Marcus will be put under truth serum tomorrow morning. Hopefully we will get some answers from him them," dad says.

"Four, how did you and Tris go in Abnegation?"

"They didn't know anything about what Jeanine was doing. Although Andrew Prior has talked to Marcus and he admitted to knowing something he wouldn't tell him what. Abnegation are going to formulate a plan so that if they need to they can get out of Abnegation quickly. They will get back to us," I say.

"Tony, do we have a strategy for taking down Erudite?" Shane asks.

"Cara has been a great help. We should have a plan ready by tomorrow afternoon," Tony tells us.

"Was she able to name who is involved?" I ask.

"We have a list of approximately twenty people. There are probably more, these are the people that she is aware of. It is a good starting point," Tony says.

"Do you think there is anyone else in Dauntless who could be involved? Or do you think she was just relying on Eric for information?" Sam asks.

"We should check that out?" I say.

"Do you plan on going to Candor tomorrow Four?" Dad asks.

"No. I don't think it would be in my best interest to be there," I say.

"Well you and Tris can start checking Dauntless files. See who has transferred from Erudite in the last few years and if there are any red flags on them. It will keep your mind of what is going on at Candor," Dad says.

I just nod. I think that is a good idea. I don't want to go to Candor. I know Marcus is probably expecting me to be there and I don't want to give him the satisfaction. I'm sure if I really want to see what happens then I can check the security footage later.

"Okay let's meet back here tomorrow night. By then we should have a plan of attack and we should know Marcus Eaton's involvement in all of this.


	44. Chapter 44

**CHAPTER 44**

 **MAX POV**

I arrive at Candor headquarters, better known as the Merciless Mart to a hive of activity. There are people from all the factions here. I walk into the large lobby trying to get to the elevators at the back of the room. It is almost impossible to reach with the amount of people here. It seems half the city has come out to see what Marcus Eaton has to say under truth serum.

I am almost half way across the room, I know this only because I can see that I am no longer standing on the black marble tiles but instead standing on the white marble in the centre of the room that forms the unbalanced scales of the Candor symbol, when Jack Kang comes forward to greet me.

"Max good to see you," Jack says.

"You too Jack. How are you?" I say.

"I'm good. If you follow me I have an elevator waiting for us," he says.

Jack pushes through the people and we walk through a side door next to the elevators. Once we walk through I see there is an elevator on this side of the wall. It has a sign over the top of the doors that reads: Service Elevator. Jack pushes a button and the doors open and we enter.

"Max you may have to go under the truth serum today. You do realise this don't you?" Jack asks.

"Yes I do," I say.

"Four and Evelyn's secrets may have to come out," he says.

"I know," I say.

"Does Four know? Is Four coming today?"

"I didn't tell him. He knows the truth may come out but he doesn't know it maybe me that is the one telling it. He didn't want to be here so I thought it was something we can talk about later if it happens. If he was here when the truth comes out he would have been flooded with strangers gawking at him. He doesn't deserve that; at least back at Dauntless we can protect him."

"Okay. When we walk into the room you will find a bench at the back of the interrogation chair that has been saved for you and any other leaders that are coming today. That way you will not be facing Marcus but you will still be able to be close by," Jack says. "The room is almost full; it is a sea of colour in there today. A lot of people have turned up for this. I am curious to see if Erudite will be sending anyone. I can't imagine Jeanine would want to be in the room for this."

"Thanks Jack. I think it will be very interesting indeed," I say.

I walk into the room and Jack wasn't exaggerating about the sea of colour. I walk over to the bench that he was talking about and see that Andrew Prior is sitting here. We greet in the normal Abnegation nod of the head greeting. Next to him sits Johanna Reyes from Amity. She rises from her seat on the bench and shakes my hand; always mindful of other factions greetings is Johanna. I take a seat next to Andrew waiting for proceedings to get under way. We have only been seated a few minutes when a young man from Erudite walks into the room.

I look over and see shock on the face of Andrew Prior. He stands as the young man walks over to us. "Caleb what are you doing here?" Andrew says.

"I am here as the representative of Erudite," Caleb says.

I find this very interesting. Why would Jeanine send a new member of Erudite and not someone with authority? I know the answer without even asking Caleb. Who I am sure has no idea that he is here in case Jeanine is implicated by Marcus.

"You are barely out of training Caleb," Andrew says. "Jeanine isn't the person you think she is."

"Dad I-," Caleb starts to say.

He is interrupted with Marcus being led into the room in hand cuffs and shackles. Along with two Dauntless and four Candor guards. The room has fallen silent as Marcus is seated in the interrogation chair. Jack comes and sits on the bench with us.

"My name is Niles and I will be your questioner," says an old dark-skinned man. He is holding a black box in his hand. He opens the box and pulls out a needle. He takes an antiseptic wipe out of his pocket. "The injection site is in your neck."

Niles rubs the antiseptic wipe over Marcus's neck he then plunges the needle into Marcus's neck.

"I will ask you a series of simple questions so that you can grow accustomed to the serum as it takes full effect," says Niles. "Now. What is your name?"

"Marcus Eaton."

In a blink of an eye a gunshot has rung out in the room. I watch as Marcus and his chair have been flung backwards and we can now see Marcus has been hit in the face by a bullet. I look up into the crowd and I see a woman standing with the gun still pointed towards where Marcus had been sitting. I jump out of my seat and I am trying to rush towards the woman. I am finding it difficult to reach her as the room has turned into pandemonium as people try to get out of the room.

I have not taken my eyes of the woman and it is then that I realise that it is Evelyn. She hasn't moved from where she was standing other than to lower her hand that has the gun in it. She is not trying to run or hide, she is just standing there. I finally reach her and I say, "What have you done?"

She turns and looks at me and says, "He deserved it."

The two Dauntless guards have finally reached us and have put her in hand cuffs. They start to walk her towards the exit.

"Max," Evelyn calls out. "I need to see Tobias. You need to bring him to me."

"Why would I do that?"

"I need his help. Max it is important. Please," she is now yelling as they take her from the room.

"You can go and see her once they have processed her Max," Jack says.

I turn around to see Jack standing next to me. I haven't moved from the spot where Evelyn was standing. The room has been cleared. The only people still here are Andrew, Johanna, Caleb, Jack and the medics who have come to try to save Marcus. One of the medics looks up and is shaking his head. Marcus Eaton is dead.

Caleb rushes out of the room. "Caleb I need to talk to you," calls Andrew. I don't know if he heard his father or he just decided to ignore him but Caleb doesn't turn to acknowledge Andrew he just leaves.

Andrew sits back down on the bench and his shoulders are slumped. "Are you alright Andrew?" I ask.

"I don't know," he says. You can see he is going into shock. Jack calls the medics over so they can check him out; there is nothing more they can do for Marcus.

Johanna rises from her seat and says her goodbyes. I stand with Jack while Andrew is being looked at. "Well I didn't see that coming," says Jack.

"No, but it isn't like it wasn't deserved," I say.

"I can't argue with that Max," Jack says.

"What will happen to her now?"

"We will have to have a trial. She can't become factionless because she already is so we will have to look at jail or execution," Jack says.

The medics have given Andrew the all clear and we are now standing discussing the events that have just unfolded. A woman comes and whispers in Jacks ear. He nods and she leaves.

"You can go and see her now," Jack says. "I will show you the way."

 **FOUR POV**

I am sitting in the dining hall with Tris and our friends. We have been pouring over Dauntless files in my office all morning. Trying to see if any of our transfers from Erudite may seem suspicious. It is good to be out of the office and in the dining hall with our friends. I am sick of reading what feels like nothing.

Shane comes walking up to our table and asks to see Tris and I in his office. I look at Tris and she is looking back at me both of us have a confused look on our faces. We get up and start walking towards the door. As we are about to reach the doors to the dining hall the doors burst open and Lauren starts to shout, "Marcus Eaton is—."

"LAUREN!" Shane yells.

"What? What about Marcus?" I ask.

"Four I need you and Tris to go straight to my office," Shane says. I am stunned, what is going on? Why isn't Shane telling me? I am stuck, I can't move. "NOW," yells Shane.

I still can't move. Tris grabs my arm and tugs me towards the door. "Four. Four come on, let's go," she says.

* * *

We walk into Shane's office and mum; Charlie and Jed are sitting in here.

"What is going on?" I ask.

"Four," says Charlie and Jed at the same time. I haven't spent any time with them lately. I pick Jed up and give him a cuddle.

"Hi Tris," says Charlie. She walks over and gives Tris a big hug.

"Hi Charlie," Tris says. She sits down and puts Charlie on her lap.

"Four there was some trouble at Marcus's trial today," Mum says.

"Mum what is going on?"

"Max called. I don't know all the details but when they put Marcus under the truth serum Evelyn shot him dead," mum says.

"What?" I say. I can't believe this. My biological mother killed my biological father. Tris' words are the first thing that comes to mind. 'We have really fucked up families.'

"Marcus is dead Four. Evelyn shot him and she is now asking to see you. Max didn't know what it was about but he said she sounded desperate," mum says. "He would like you to go to Candor and see her. He will understand if you don't want to but. . . I think it might be a good idea if you do."

I feel Tris' hand on mine. I look over to her and she says, "I will come with you if you want. We can do this together."

Thank god for Tris, I don't think I could deal with this without her. I don't know how I feel about Marcus. Numb is the only word I can think to describe it at the moment. Did I hate him? Yes. Did I wish him dead? I did when I was younger. Am I glad he is dead? I don't know, I think so. But at the same time I really wanted him to suffer for what he did to Evelyn and me.

"I'll go now," I say.

* * *

Tris and I are on the train to Candor. We are sitting on the floor of the train carriage. We haven't spoken since we left Shanes office. I am sitting with my back to the wall Tris is sitting between my legs facing me. She is holding my hands in hers. It is so comforting having her here with me. I don't know what I would do without her.

"Do you want to talk about?" she asks. I shake my head.

"It's okay. Whenever you are ready I am here for you," she says.

I lift her up onto my lap and just hug her. That is all I want right now. I just need to know she is close. "I'm not ready, I don't really know what to think," I whisper.

"I'm here when you are ready," she says. I just hold her closer to me and whisper, "thank you Tris."

* * *

We walk into Candor and dad is waiting for us.

"Four," he says. He comes over and gives me a hug. "I'm sorry to bring you down here. But I really need you to talk to Evelyn. I don't know what she wants she wouldn't tell me but I've never seen her like this."

"Okay," I say.

We walk up to the holding cells where Evelyn is being held. "She is through those doors," says dad.

I go to walk through the doors and Tris has stopped. I turn and look at her. I raise my eyebrow in a questioning way. I don't understand why she has stopped. "Don't you want to go in alone?" she asks.

"No, I want you with me. I need you with me," I say. I hold out my hand and she takes it. I push open the door and turn to dad, "I think you should come with us," I say to him.

We walk through the doors and see Evelyn sitting in the first cell.

"Tobias you came," Evelyn says. She looks between Tris, dad and I. "What you brought a party with you?"

"Evelyn this is Tris," I say.

"Do you really think this is the time to be introducing your mother to some girl," Evelyn says.

"Tris isn't some girl and you are not my mother," I say with anger in my voice. "And my name is Four!" Just hearing my name on her lips makes me sick.

"Tobias I am your mother," she says. "Are you scared she will find out who you really are?"

"No you are not, you gave up that right Evelyn," I say. "And Tris knows everything about me; I have no secrets from her."

"I doubt that. But I am your mother, I—," she says.

"Evelyn stop this," dad says. "What do you want?"

"I have a son," Evelyn says.

"No you don't Evelyn, I am not your son anymore," I say.

"Not you Tobias, I have another son," she says.

"What?" I ask.

"That is why I left. I have another child. Nathaniel, I call him Nate," she says. "Tobias I need you to look after him. He doesn't have anyone else."

"Evelyn how can you expect Four to do this for you? You abandoned him and Charlie and now you want him to just take responsibility for your mistakes?" Dad says.

"What else can I do Max? Are you going to take the boy? I can't leave him to fend for himself in factionless," she says.

I have no idea what to say. I can't comprehend what is going on at the moment. This is unbelievable. She kills Marcus and then drops this on me.

"How do we find him?" Tris asks. I'm shocked, what is she saying? I look at her and she says, "Evelyn is right, we can't just leave him there. We can work out everything else after."

"Thank you Tris," Evelyn says. "Tobias you need to go and see Therese she will help you. I have left instructions with her."

"Fine," I say. I am far from happy with this situation but Tris is right. I can't leave a child alone in factionless especially when we share blood. "Is there anything else Evelyn?"

"Tobias please," she says.

"No Evelyn. We were done a long time ago. This is the last time you will see me," I say. "And this is it for you with Nate as well. You will not see him or Charlie ever again. You can rot in here forever as far as I'm concerned. You can't keep thinking that you can be a part of our lives. You're not and you never will be again. So don't ask to see me because this is it," I say and storm out of the room.

I walk through the doors and I can hardly breathe. That was hard. I can't believe I finally did that. I am hunched over trying to take in deep breathes when dad and Tris come out. Tris walks over and starts to rub my back.

"I was not expecting that," dad says.

I give a short laugh. "Me either," I say.

"Well we should get down to factionless and find this kid," says dad.

"What am I going to do about this dad? How the hell am I supposed to take care of a kid? I have no idea what I should do about this," I say.

"Tobias," Tris says calmly. I stand back up at full height and look at her. "Let's just get him home and then we can worry about the rest. We don't need to make any decisions today."

"We?" I ask.

"Yes, we. We are in this together, I am here for you no matter what," she says.

A smile comes across my face and I pull her into a hug. "Okay," I say. "Thank you."


	45. Chapter 45

**CHAPTER 45**

 **FOUR POV**

We get back to Dauntless with Nate. Nate is a seven year old mini me with brown eyes or so Tris tells me. We go straight to dad's apartment. We need to explain all this to Sasha and Charlie has a brother to meet. Only Evelyn could keep making our lives so complicated.

"What's going on?" Sasha asks as soon as we walk in the door.

"Charlotte," dad calls out. Charlie comes downstairs. "Baby this is Nate I need you to take him up to your room and play okay?"

"Okay daddy," Charlie says. She knows not to argue with dad when he calls her Charlotte.

"Max what is going on?" Sasha asks again. We all go and sit in the lounge room and dad starts to explain what has happened.

"How can Evelyn expect Four to look after him? He is just starting his life with Tris. They both have important jobs. How can she do this?" Sasha says.

"I know Sash, I know. But we need to try and work out what we are all going to do about this," dad says.

"Dad this isn't your problem. It's mine," I say.

"No Four we are a family, we work through this together," dad says. "We have extra room here, we could take him in."

"No, no, no," I say. "You have done enough. You raised me when you didn't have too. You shouldn't have to do it again."

"I don't regret one day of it Four. As far as I'm concerned you are my son. Always have been always will be. And Nate is a part of you; he is also a part of Charlie. We have to remember her in all of this. She has another brother and she deserves to get to know him," dad says.

"I don't know dad. This isn't fair to you or mum," I say.

"We have the room," dad says.

"Not for much longer," says mum. We all turn to look at her.

"What are you saying?" dad asks.

"I'm pregnant Max, we are having another baby," she says.

We have all gone silent. This would usually be happy news but I think we are all shocked.

"When did you find out?" dad asks.

"This morning. I was waiting until you got home to tell you," she says. Dad gets off the couch and goes and gives mum a big hug.

"This is great news," dad finally says.

"Congratulations," Tris says as I go and get in the middle of mum and dads' hug and hug them both. I turn to Tris and motion for her to come and join in. She comes over and we all hug together. It is a really cool moment.

Once we have untangled from our family hug mum says, "I think he should stay here for now."

"Are you sure?" dad asks.

"Yeah I am. It is going to be easier if he is here for now. We already have two to look after, what's an extra one. Four and Tris are next door and can help us out. Charlie deserves to be able to get to know her brother. We can work out what to do about bedrooms once the baby is born."

"Okay," dad says.

* * *

Tris and I get back to our apartment and we crash onto the couch. It has been a crazy day. The leader meeting has been pushed back to tomorrow. By the time we left mum and dads' place Nate seemed to be fitting in well. I'm sure we are going to all have to adjust, especially Nate but as we always have we will do it as a family.

"Tobias," Tris says. I sit up and look into her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

I start to shake my head. "So much has happened today. I think overwhelmed is the word that comes to mind," I say.

"I think I will go and get us some food from the dining hall and we can eat here," she says.

"That sounds like a great idea. I don't think I could handle other people at the moment," I say.

She comes over and gives me a peck on the lips. "I'll be back in a minute," she says and walks out the door. I lie back on the couch and sigh.

* * *

We finally got to have our leaders meeting. It has been decided that we are going to Erudite and we are going to arrest Jeanine and all the names on Cara's list. It is going to be a mammoth effort and Tony has put a great plan together. Dad, Shane, Shauna and I are all going to be leading teams on the mission. It has been decided that along with Dauntless police all initiates from the past two years will be involved. The initiates are the most recently trained so they are going to be better to take with us than say someone who is working in the kitchen. I hate that Tris is going but this is what we signed up for. We are Dauntless, we are here to protect. I asked to have her assigned to dad's team. I know she will only be a distraction if we are together. I also know that Dad will look after her.

It has taken three days to formulate the plan and have everyone ready to go. We are leaving tonight. Marcus was buried in a low key Abnegation funeral. Andrew invited me to attend but I declined. I had no respect to show to that monster and I didn't need to go for closure.

Evelyn was executed for her crime. I wasn't surprised that this was the decision of the courts. She was already factionless and she showed no remorse for what she had done. Who could blame her; Marcus had put her through hell. It did have Erudite in a spin. They as usual have brought up the topic of whether Tobias Eaton is alive or not. Luckily no one is taking any notice. With everything that has happened with Marcus and Evelyn the attention was on them and not me. Thankfully.

Nate is adjusting to Dauntless. He reminds me of me when I first got here. He seems to love to explore just like I did. He and Charlie have had some great fights; they are already acting like brother and sister. Jed is loving having another brother to play with. Dad and mum seem happy having Nate. I think they just love having kids around the house. It is completely crazy over there.

 **TRIS POV**

I am sitting on the bench in the training room. We have just finished a training session before tonight's raid on Erudite. I am sitting with Christina and Will, being back in the training room has been fun. Although everything is very serious, it has been nice to spend time with my friends. I haven't had much time for them since initiation finished.

"Let's go and get some lunch," Uriah says.

"Always food Uriah," says Marlene.

"Come on it's not like you don't all want food too," Uriah says.

We get up and make our way to the dining hall.

"Do you think there will be much resistance from Erudite?" Christina asks.

"Doubt it. They have the knowledge behind them but not the experience. I don't think there will be many who could even shoot a gun," Will says.

"They have limited guards with experience," Cara says. "Plus you are going to arrest people not to kill anyone."

* * *

I get back to our apartment and I find Tobias asleep on the couch. I walk over to him and I brush my hair over his face. He starts to stir so I kiss him on his lips. "Hey," he says.

"You didn't come to lunch with us, I was worried," I say.

"I just couldn't be bothered," he says.

"Are you sure you are okay? You haven't wanted to talk about Marcus or Evelyn. And now you are avoiding our friends," I say.

"I know Tris. I just. . . I."

"Tobias you are allowed to be sad about all of this. You don't have to act like it doesn't mean anything to you because I know it does," I say.

"That's it Tris. I'm not sad. I'm glad they are dead. What sought of person does that make me that I'm glad they are dead?" he says.

"It makes you human. That's what it makes you. Don't ever let those two make you doubt the person you are. They don't deserve to be able to do that to you Tobias. So you are glad they are dead, that isn't a bad thing," I say.

"But doesn't it make me just as bad as them?" he asks.

"Tobias look at me," I say as I move his chin so he is looking at me. "Tobias you are brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind and honest. You are everything that they could never be. The way they treated you. I don't understand how they could have ever done that to you. So if you are glad they are dead then that is good. I know I am glad they are dead. They have caused you enough pain and I know you are always going to have problems with that. But now they can't cause you any more pain. And I promise I will do everything I can to help you with all of this. I love you Tobias."

Tobias sits up and wraps his arms around me. "Thank you. I love you too," he whispers into my ear. And as usual it sends shivers down my spine.

* * *

We have reached the top floors of the Erudite building that houses Jeanine Matthews' office and laboratories. I am with Max and Uriah. Christina was with us but she was shot in the leg by an Erudite guard and we left her with Will three floors below. Will knows his way around Erudite from growing up here and will be able to get her out of the building. Or at least to the medical floor for treatment.

We have just reached the door to Jeanine's office. Max opens the door and before I can even look into the room I hear a gun shot. I don't even think I just shoot. It is like everything is in slow motion. I can see Max falling towards the floor and I can see who is holding the gun that has shot him. I know I should probably have tried to reason with him but at this moment I don't care. I am so angry with the person he has become. As I watched the bullet hit him straight between the eyes I hear another gun shot. My eyes have not left him as he starts to fall and out of the corner of my eye I can see that the last shot has hit Uriah and he is falling. It isn't until I hear his body hit the ground that everything starts to move in real time again. That is when I realise I haven't just shot someone, I have just killed my own brother. Caleb is dead.

I quickly look around me and I can see that Max has been shot in the chest. I get down on the floor next to him and I place my hands onto his chest to try to stem the bleeding from his bullet wound. I turn and look at Uriah.

"Uri are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah it's only my shoulder. I'll be fine," he says.

"Uriah you have to go and find Four," I say. "It's urgent; you need to find him now. Then you need to go and get us some medical help." Max is losing a lot of blood and I don't know how long he can last. I'm not a doctor but this doesn't look good.

Just as Uriah is getting up Shane comes through the door. "Have you found her?" Shane asks.

"No we got ambushed here," I say.

"Okay we will keep looking," he says and he rushes off down the hall.

"Max," I call to him. "Max. Max you have to stay awake. Come on Max I need you to stay awake."

There is blood everywhere, it is pooling around his body. His shirt and my hands are covered in the warm liquid. I don't know how much longer he is going to be able to last if we don't have help here soon.

The seconds feel like minutes and the minutes are feeling like hours. I'm not sure how long we have been here I know it mustn't be more than I few minutes when Tobias enters the room. He stops dead in his tracks. It is like he can't move, can't process what it in front of him. "Tobias," I say. This seems to bring him back and now he is kneeling down next to his dad.

"Dad," he says.

"Four," Max whispers. I know he is weak from the blood loss. "Four, I need to tell you."

"No dad, save your energy. You are going to be okay. You can fight this. Just hang in there. Uriah has gone for help. Just hang in there," Tobias says. There are tears in his eyes and my heart is breaking for him as he is sitting here watching his dad fade away. I can't move; frightened if I take my hand away from his chest then he will lose what little blood he has left.

Finally help has arrived. Uriah must have brought half the hospital with him. They tell me to move and next thing they have Max on a gurney and they are rushing hopefully towards a hospital. Tobias stands up and looks at his dad being rushed away and me. "Go be with your dad," I say.

"Are you sure? Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'll be fine, it's not my blood. I will meet you down there in a minute. Take Uriah with you he was shot too. He will probably need some help," I say.

I think with everything going on Uriah forgot he had been shot. I'm sure it is going to really hurt once the adrenaline wares off. I watch as they walk out of the room and then I collapse onto the floor. I crawl over to where my brother now lays. I lean my back up against the wall and just sit there. I feel like I can't leave him alone right now. Like I should be here for him, that he shouldn't be alone. Even if he is dead and has no idea of what is now going on in this world, I feel he shouldn't be alone.

* * *

I know I have been sitting here for hours. I also know I should get up and go and find out how Max and my friends are. I should be with Tobias. But I can't seem to move. I know I have been here a while because Max's blood has dried on my arms. I am up to my elbows in his blood but I don't care. I am resting my arms on my knees as I am sitting on the floor. I have my head resting on my arms. I probably have blood all over me but still I don't care.

"Tris," he says. I don't look up. I know it is Tobias. He walks over to me and he stops suddenly just before he gets to me. I know he must have just seen Caleb's body. He wouldn't have seen it when he was here before. It was hidden behind a desk and with everything that had been happening with his dad he wouldn't have had time to take anything else in.

He moves towards me again and he comes and sits down next to me. He puts an arm around my shoulder. I don't think I've ever needed his touch the way I do right now. I lift my head and look at him. I have tears in my eyes as does he.

"How is Max?" I ask. He shakes his head.

"He is in surgery. They say the longer the surgery takes the better the chance he has. But it isn't looking good," he says.

"You should be with him," I say.

"I can't do anything there and I was worried about you. No one had seen you, so I thought I better try and find you," he says.

"I killed him, I killed Caleb. I knew it was him and I didn't hesitate I just shot him," I say. That is when the tears start to flow. Tobias pulls me to him and holds me tight. He doesn't say anything he just lets me sob. I'm not drying for the person I shot I am crying for the brother I lost the minute he dropped his blood into the water.

Once I stop crying Tobias says, "We need to get out of here Tris. You need to get cleaned up. I need to get back to the hospital."

Tobias stands and pulls me up with him and we walk out of the door. I am suddenly feeling extremely exhausted.

* * *

 _It's nearly all finished guys._

 _Is Max going to survive?_

 _Will Natalie and Andrew forgive Tris?_

 _Will Tris forgive herself?_

 _Can Tobias and Tris' relationship survive?_

 _All will be answered soon! Enjoy;)_


	46. Chapter 46

**CHAPTER 46**

 **FOUR POV**

It has been three months since that day in Erudite. Jeanine was caught and executed for her crimes. There were eighty five Erudite members who were found to be taking part in Jeanine's experiments. Or I should say who were experimenting on others or developing the serums to experiment on others.

We found five Erudite transfers in Dauntless who were also helping Jeanine. The biggest shock came from Abnegation. Almost half the council were supporters of Marcus and his plan to help Jeanine. There were also a number of factionless who were helping Jeanine. Candor and Amity seem to be the only factions who weren't involved in the whole mess. It was a really dark day for our city.

It did bring some changes. Andrew Prior is now the leader of Abnegation. The first thing he did was bring in a law that made it punishable by death to discriminate, hunt, experiment on or kill anyone who is divergent. People haven't been coming out and saying they are divergent. A lot of people are still scared. Erudite now have to be open about what they are studying when it comes to humans. A special committee has been set up to monitor their activities. Cara is overseeing the project. Zeke finally got her to get a tattoo. Of course she chose the Erudite symbol. What shocked all of us is that she got it on the back of her wrist where everyone can see it. Maybe there is a little bit of Dauntless in her.

Caleb was given an Abnegation funeral. Tris and I attended. Andrew and Natalie have been so supportive to Tris. It is exactly what she needed. It has been hard for her, she said she doesn't regret shooting him but she admitted that he was still her brother and she loved him anyway. I can understand that. Her parents don't blame her; they understand that he chose his path. I think it helps that Tris has been spending more time with them. I think it helps all of them.

Uriah and Christina both healed with no lasting problems from their gunshot wounds. Uriah went zip lining two days after he got shot. It was great they healed so will. Better than some from that day. We lost four Dauntless and Erudite lost twenty just in the fight to arrest Jeanine. It seems such a stupid waste of life. But it also saved so many more lives. It will make you crazy if you think about it too much. So now we have to learn from it and make sure it doesn't happen again.

Dad is finally coming home from hospital today. He has been stuck in Erudite for the last three months. The first month they didn't want to move him because of his injuries. He wanted to come back to Dauntless but they decided that he should stay there because they have state of the art rehab facilities. If he had been shot anywhere else in the city he would be dead now. The fact that Tris was with him and able to slow the bleeding and he had the best doctors in the city to help him is the only reasons he is alive. It still amazes me how level headed Tris can be in a crisis. To be able to put her own pain and agony over Caleb to the side and concentrate on helping dad was more than I could have done. Tris still doesn't think she is selfless enough for Abnegation but that just isn't true. She is the most selfless person I have ever met.

Tris has been my tower of strength. The first few weeks were touch and go with dad and Tris was not only there for me but my whole family. Even while dealing with her own guilt and grief she still was here for all of us. Charlie loves having Tris around and was really excited when she found out she was going to get a little sister. Three brothers are probably enough for Charlie. She has never been a girly girl and that is why I think she gets on with Tris so well. But another girl in the family is exciting for both her and mum.

Nate is fitting in well. He loves Dauntless and has made lots of friends. I see a lot of me in him. Like me he is thriving in our family. Jed, well he is just Jed. Totally Dauntless. Completely loveable. He is so easy going. He is definitely the best of mum and dad.

Zeke finally asked Shauna to move in with him. I never thought that would happen. Uriah was upset at first. Until Shauna told him he could have her apartment. Now the parties are held at Uriah's place and he is loving it. Marlene decided to work for mum. She is working in the child care centre part time and working as mum and dads' nanny part time. Thank goodness. Christina and Will broke up last week. But that is the fourth time in the last three months that they have broken up so I'm sure they should be back together again by next week. If not Tris will be stuck cheering Christina up and that means lots of shopping. We are both hoping they make up soon.

Charlie, Nate and Jed have been spending a lot of time with Tris and me. If it wasn't for Marlene I think we would never get rid of them. It has made Tris and I decide we don't want kids any time soon. We want them eventually but we want to enjoy being teenagers for now. We already have important jobs so we want to be able to come home and just enjoy each other and our friends. We can just keep borrowing my brothers and sisters if we need too.

I think we are all in a good place at the moment. I know I am. I know it is because I have Tris by my side and such a great family and friends. I haven't dwelled on what happened with Marcus and Evelyn. I hate who they became but I wouldn't have the life I have without having had to go through what I did. So in a twisted way I suppose I have a lot to thank them for. The best thing is that Tris is always here to listen and talk to about it. Just like I am for her. I really got lucky the day she jumped into the net and back into my life.

* * *

 _ **Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favourited my story. I hope you have all enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.**_

 _ **I rewrote this last chapter three times so I hope it is a fitting end for the characters. I had planned on killing Max off from the start of the story but as I got closer to the final chapters I just couldn't do it. Many discussions with hplcgirl (thank you by the way. We both changed our views on this on numerous occasion) helped to bring me to the decision to keep him alive. Ultimately I hate to see Tobias in any more pain than he has to be in and I think I gave him enough pain as a young child. So Max got to live.**_

 _ **So once again thank you for your support.**_

 _ **There will be a new story coming really soon called Dauntless Redemption.**_

 _ **Keep reading, keep writing and if you like someone's story give them a review.**_

 _ **Positive reviews keep us all happy ;)**_


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